Ann

Friday, January 9, 2015
Make your next step positive

In ways large and small, life can often be disappointing. Yet in every case, you don’t have to let the disappointing events keep you disappointed or discouraged.

For as disappointing as life can be, there is always something positive you can do. What you do next is what truly matters, and you can choose a positive step no matter what.

In each disappointment there is a priceless gift. That gift is the opportunity you get to become more determined and purposeful and positively motivated.

Each time, choose to accept that gift, to take that opportunity and to embrace its great value. Quickly use it to transform the energy of disappointment into the energy of achievement.

When you think about it, the choice is actually an easy one. Would you rather waste your life and crush your spirit with resentment and retribution, or do you want to feel great about making a positive difference?

Make the choice to honor your life, to honor all of life, by making your next step a positive one. Seize your great opportunity and enjoy the treasure it brings, each and every time.

— Ralph Marston

Ann

I often speak here of "strangely wrapped gifts", a kind of blessing in disguise, I think.

Even from the worst moments of my life, I have experienced "strangely wrapped gifts", some knowledge or lesson that would serve me well in my life and one that I would never have known if I had not faced the obstacles of that worst moment.

Life can be very difficult, sometimes. Sometimes it is hard to know where we are being led or to let go of the past so that we CAN be led to something better. It is during these times that I travel in blind faith, knowing that it all has purpose and that one day I will be able to look back and discern what that purpose was.

Living life with a positive attitude will always take me better places than when I bemoan whatever has been handed to me. Looking ahead in anticipation of better days keeps my heart lighter today and helps me keep going, even when I cannot quite see where the path will lead.

Think about it. Have you also found "strangely wrapped gifts" that you see in hindsight long after the hard days are over?

Hugs

Spacegoat

Thanks Ann.

I have no motivation, vision or drive left in me. The very things that made me in the first place. Throughout my alco years I desperately tried clinging to them, in my panic coming up with ever more deluded & hair brained ideas each time, i never really believed in any of them. I haven't made a positive step in such a long time. I'm hoping by committing to sobriety an answer will finally come to me. I have been stuck for such a long time now

I appreciate your post. I'm going to sleep on this.

Ann

Stratman, sometimes we need to be "stuck" to take pause to find our way again.

I too lost myself in my codependency and it took time to know that "stranger called me" and to find new dreams and the courage to chase them.

Getting sober is a wonderful beginning, a positive step all it's own.

When you find your balance again, I have a feeling that you will find your way in sobriety and embrace it and all the gifts it will bring you.

Hugs

Spacegoat

I have a confession to make, I too have ended up with codie traits either as a result of or alongside my drinking (there are a load of factors I'd say). Someone said it to me and according to the literature it's true, I must have been very bad. I don't know how that came to be as I have always been a leader/headstrong type, I could cite many examples of that.

I agree with your second post, I have noticed in the past how what were seemingly terrible things at the time have led on to better things, and faith maybe played a part. This particular crisis seems so multi-dynamic and ever worsening its a hard fight. And has been for quite some time. I've been trying to refine the issue down to its smallest point, well I'm nearly there now I think. I haven't shared it with anyone yet.

Thanks for your kinds words Ann, I will read this post again in the morning. I hope alls well with you. Goodnight

Ann

We have many double winners here, Stratman, people who are recovering from substance abuse and also codependency and they work both programs, which really are not too unalike.

I too was a "strong leader and problem solver for others", it looks good on the outside but inside I had an obsessive need to control. It was easier for me to solve a problem than to watch anyone I cared about struggle with it. What I did was rob them of lessons they needed to learn themselves. How could they learn to solve problems if I took it upon myself to provide the solution.

I no longer run the universe, what a relief that is. And it seems that the universe was never mine to run in the first place. Who knew?

Today I will think positive and take quiet time to nurture myself in some way. It's a cold winter, nurturing is warming.

Hugs

Spacegoat

Yeah I'm not so sure about this need to control part, somebody said that to me not long ago. Ive been thinking about it since. Control my thoughts? yes, need to do it/doing that. Control my life? More like trying to plan a bit, hard enough but I made a concerted effort for a few years. I give up now. Agree with the obsessive part, I was obsessing about 101 different things, most of them of no relevance to my life. (distractions?)

So far as the codie thing, yeh absolutely I did completely lose my self due to compromise after compromise, was not looking after myself physically or mentally either which can't have helped. My ex partner had a huge amount of power over me around the kid, and the rare times I did have him I had to adopt the roles of both father and mother (more compromise?). I still have unresolved issues from my own childhood as well, I'm not sure if there is a benefit in resolving them. A question for another day.

Anyway. Onwards and upwards. As for running the universe part, LOL, I suppose I can relate for a while too. Well you know, shoot for the moon all that?! No-one ever tells me anything. They said anything was possible, and that ya gotta dream big. LOL. Peace