at the end of my rope....
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Everett
Posts: 1
at the end of my rope....
A little backstory on me and my boyfriend. He's been a recovering/active addict for 10 years. We've been together for about 4.5 years now. We started dating after he got out of rehab and had been sober for 6 months. The past 3 years have been out of control. Roller coaster rides of 2-9 months of sobriety with bursts of periods of using hard drugs. After so much time of back and forth I don't know what to do. He is so,different when he is sober and He doesn't steal or sell our stuff or anything like that so I feel,like there is a chance he could get sober. All he talks about is wanting,to be sober and wanting a future together but I'm tired of not seeing results. Please help. Should I give up on him? He's only 30 I'm 25. Is there still hope?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Welcome, virgovoice25. Glad you posted, and I hope you will get some thoughts from someone who has been where you are.
Unfortunately, no one can tell you what to do. I guess I have learned in life that what the person shows me, is who he is. People don't change a whole lot, unless they have a really big shake up, I think.
Its his job to figure out how to get clean...You cannot make him do it, and its not your fault if he doesn't do it.
Do you want this for your life? Is this bringing you happiness, and peace of mind? It is a long road for those who recover, too, and there is no guarantee that they will not relapse. So you have to ask yourself if you think that this person has what it takes to change, and stay changed, no matter what life brings his way?
Actions speak louder than words. Personally, if I found out someone I dated for a while was still doing drugs, I would run. Life is too short to be miserable.
Your job, any of us actually, is to take care of yourself and live the best life you can. Find someone you can trust and build a future with , without having to always worry.
If he has been in rehab, he knows what to do.. he just doesn't want to give up drugs.
stick around. there are lots of people who understand this problem. Have you gone to nar-anon, or al-anon? that could help you to take care of yourself.
chic
Unfortunately, no one can tell you what to do. I guess I have learned in life that what the person shows me, is who he is. People don't change a whole lot, unless they have a really big shake up, I think.
Its his job to figure out how to get clean...You cannot make him do it, and its not your fault if he doesn't do it.
Do you want this for your life? Is this bringing you happiness, and peace of mind? It is a long road for those who recover, too, and there is no guarantee that they will not relapse. So you have to ask yourself if you think that this person has what it takes to change, and stay changed, no matter what life brings his way?
Actions speak louder than words. Personally, if I found out someone I dated for a while was still doing drugs, I would run. Life is too short to be miserable.
Your job, any of us actually, is to take care of yourself and live the best life you can. Find someone you can trust and build a future with , without having to always worry.
If he has been in rehab, he knows what to do.. he just doesn't want to give up drugs.
stick around. there are lots of people who understand this problem. Have you gone to nar-anon, or al-anon? that could help you to take care of yourself.
chic
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