startinganewnh

I'm trying so hard to get through this. I'm just not even sure who I am anymore. 11 years of living like this has broken me. I'm not doing any of the self destructive behaviour that I've been doing the last couple months. The pain is just so raw.

A couple people have sent me information about meetings and I'm going to go, but nothing is available until after the holidays. I made an appointment for counseling, but once again it's not until January.

I'm trying do hard to keep it together so my children can have a good Christmas. We got a tree last night and we are about to decorate it. Even that is hard. I'm taking a few minute break in the bathroom so I can get the strength to be positive in front of them.

Eauchiche

I'm glad you are here with us. It WILL get better, I promise!
We are here to support you in any way possible. Keeping you in my prayers.

maia1234

S- sorry you are here, but we are here for you. All you have to do is think about right now. Not tonight, tomorrow or next week. You are over whelmed as you try and put things together. Everything will fall in to place if you let it. Get through the tree trimming and what is next. That's it.

Step back, relax and Breath!! This to shall pass!!!

GardenMama

My heart and prayers go out to you today. Remember you named yourself StartingAnew...there will be raw pain, lots of tears, and emotional ups and downs, but you can do this. It will be January soon, and we are here for you on SR, so keep reading, sharing, and hiding your tears in the bathroom as needed. You are a good mom to pull Christmas together, to do what you are doing for them, and especially what you are doing now for yourself. Hang in there!

Karrets

Hi I understand where you are at. It feels like I'm pretending to live. Its so hard sometimes but not as hard as living with my AH. Sometimes we have to make decisions in life that hurt just remember why your doing this. The emotional abuse you went through will be affecting you too. I can recommend letting go by melody beattie is a daily 1 page read which really helps me to keep the focus on the right person. .....me

BlueEyes1982

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. That's terrible that you are not able to get anywhere with meetings or counseling until after the holidays. I'm currently in the middle of dealing with a very big depression, been out of work for over a month just trying to get things back together. The good news is, with the right help, it does get better. You've got support here, also. I just joined and have already experienced so much support. If you need to talk about anything, please feel free to send me a private message. I know how tough it can be when even something doing something positive, like putting up the tree, can seem like the most difficult task. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

chicory

Welcome Startinganewnh.

I think you are a brave momma, to dry those tears in order to give them what they should have as children.. peace, laughter, fun, and hope.

I am glad you are here. Keep posting. You will find a lot of support here, and we help each other deal with these things. It does help

take care, and hang in there,
chicory