KeepinItReal

Thanks TF.
I did take care of me and the kids this holiday! It's been a really good time. I got a new polar fit watch (an HRM) to help monitor how many calories i'm actually burning during my stationary bike rides and walking and such plus a really nice knock-off Michael Kors purse (probably spelled that wrong). Of course these gifts were not from AH but my mom. I also got a raise at work which will really help paying of the Kohls credit card that I charged Christmas with.
My kids are over the moon with happiness at all the gifts they got and they kept telling me how much they loved me and how great I am. They really are the best kids ever. I'm probably biased in this as they are MY kids. (hehehe)
As for my AH i'm trying to convince him to go to rehab again. He unfortunately doesn't want to make the commitment and feels that he can get sober and clean without it. I have little faith. Yet its not my job to keep track of what he has going on, on his side of the street.
If anything gets stolen it will force me into making him leave and finally going to court for a custody agreement. The custody agreement would be necessary to file for divorce in the state that I live in. A divorce cannot be granted without it. So, that would help me push forward if I do want a divorce. I would not be filing for a divorce immediately as I do believe a big decision should take time. So, I would just be putting the pawns in place.
Right now we have legal separation as our addresses legally have been separate for over a year. I have done this on purpose as I have been thinking about divorce for a long time.
I am torn, and change my mind daily. So, going through with anything when i'm so indecisive wouldn't be wise for myself or my own well being.
Hope you all had a good holiday!!!!