Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 117
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
I haven't been on here in a while because I was really moving on but now it seems I'm stuck in the muck and mire again. Just need to air this out.
I've shared my story on here before so short version is ... daughter got pregnant by a man who appeared to have it all together. Turns out he had drug problem. After trying to "help" him she gave up and saw things for what they were. He was arrested while shooting up Roxicodone in his car. She filed for termination of his parental rights (by filing to adopt her son) and the court date was set for yesterday.
Everything was moving along just fine, no contact from him or his parents. Daughter's attorney had posted notice of the hearing in the paper and attempted to have him served but was unsuccessful. The lawyer said it was going to be a quick visit to the judge and the whole thing would be over.
He got arrested for fta on his drug charges and while in jail was served with the notification of the court hearing. After 16 days in jail, and 4 days before the adoption hearing, his parents got him out of jail. They now have a lawyer and yesterday's court date was canceled so they could get their case together.
What case are they getting together? I just can't figure it out. No contact from him since the summer, no financial support...EVER, no response (by him) to the child support case, his sentencing on his drug case will be next month and I'm fairly certain they'll be prison time, he owes thousands in fines, and doesn't have a job or a place to live.
As a grandmother, I understand why his parents would do this. They want to protect their rights to their grandson BUT how can they expose their grandson to their son's BS in the process?
At times I feel a little guilty for taking up time on this forum. I'm not the parent of an addict, or the spouse/girlfriend of one. My family was, however, very much affected by someone who has a serious drug problem and I guess that counts for something.
I've shared my story on here before so short version is ... daughter got pregnant by a man who appeared to have it all together. Turns out he had drug problem. After trying to "help" him she gave up and saw things for what they were. He was arrested while shooting up Roxicodone in his car. She filed for termination of his parental rights (by filing to adopt her son) and the court date was set for yesterday.
Everything was moving along just fine, no contact from him or his parents. Daughter's attorney had posted notice of the hearing in the paper and attempted to have him served but was unsuccessful. The lawyer said it was going to be a quick visit to the judge and the whole thing would be over.
He got arrested for fta on his drug charges and while in jail was served with the notification of the court hearing. After 16 days in jail, and 4 days before the adoption hearing, his parents got him out of jail. They now have a lawyer and yesterday's court date was canceled so they could get their case together.
What case are they getting together? I just can't figure it out. No contact from him since the summer, no financial support...EVER, no response (by him) to the child support case, his sentencing on his drug case will be next month and I'm fairly certain they'll be prison time, he owes thousands in fines, and doesn't have a job or a place to live.
As a grandmother, I understand why his parents would do this. They want to protect their rights to their grandson BUT how can they expose their grandson to their son's BS in the process?
At times I feel a little guilty for taking up time on this forum. I'm not the parent of an addict, or the spouse/girlfriend of one. My family was, however, very much affected by someone who has a serious drug problem and I guess that counts for something.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Has your daughter asked her lawyer? The GPs might be pursuing some kind of visitation for themselves. Lots of states have grandparents' rights laws.
Or maybe they are loony tunes super enablers who have it in their heads that a baby will "straighten him out."
Or maybe they are loony tunes super enablers who have it in their heads that a baby will "straighten him out."
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 609
my short answer (guess) is that his parents let him sit in jail long enough for him to say he'd get treatment. As far as I've seen, anyone who is actively getting help for whatever kind of addiction they have, will not lose parental rights/custody. (not till they totally go off the wheels and that can take some time to prove to the court)
He'll have them to fall back on to show he's got support, be that a home, money, babysitters. Any lawyer they've retained would be able to know exactly what he needs to do to show the attempt to help himself so he can be a better person. <---rehab/AA/outpatient, etc.
Don't feel guilty about posting here! You, daughter and grandchild are all being affected by a person with substance abuse issues.
All my best
He'll have them to fall back on to show he's got support, be that a home, money, babysitters. Any lawyer they've retained would be able to know exactly what he needs to do to show the attempt to help himself so he can be a better person. <---rehab/AA/outpatient, etc.
Don't feel guilty about posting here! You, daughter and grandchild are all being affected by a person with substance abuse issues.
All my best
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