Wishing the enabling would stop
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 31
Wishing the enabling would stop
I walked away from an alcoholic boyfriend a week ago. I've broken all contact, blocked him on my phone and social media. His mum has been in touch to see how I am, she told me that he had drunk again since we split up. She said he was abusive to her and so her husband told him he had a week to leave their house. I was actually pleased, not for the fact he would be homeless, but for the fact that I believe he will think about his addiction once all the enabling stops.
Anyway, yesterday I dropped some of his belongings to his house and left them at the front door. I text his mum so she knew they were there. His mum text back to thank me, but also to say her son still didn't understand why I had broken contact. I told her that if he didn't understand, then I knew I had definitely made the right decision. He's so far in denial. I told her I felt more peaceful now I don't have to worry about his drinking and said that I hope she feels the same when his week at home is up and he had to leave, I said that it must be soon? No reply. I can only think that he must be getting another chance. I wish the enabling would just stop. He will never learn this way.
Anyway, yesterday I dropped some of his belongings to his house and left them at the front door. I text his mum so she knew they were there. His mum text back to thank me, but also to say her son still didn't understand why I had broken contact. I told her that if he didn't understand, then I knew I had definitely made the right decision. He's so far in denial. I told her I felt more peaceful now I don't have to worry about his drinking and said that I hope she feels the same when his week at home is up and he had to leave, I said that it must be soon? No reply. I can only think that he must be getting another chance. I wish the enabling would just stop. He will never learn this way.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
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Originally Posted by Sweetfa 
I walked away from an alcoholic boyfriend a week ago. I've broken all contact, blocked him on my phone and social media. His mum has been in touch to see how I am, she told me that he had drunk again since we split up. She said he was abusive to her and so her husband told him he had a week to leave their house. I was actually pleased, not for the fact he would be homeless, but for the fact that I believe he will think about his addiction once all the enabling stops.
Anyway, yesterday I dropped some of his belongings to his house and left them at the front door. I text his mum so she knew they were there. His mum text back to thank me, but also to say her son still didn't understand why I had broken contact. I told her that if he didn't understand, then I knew I had definitely made the right decision. He's so far in denial. I told her I felt more peaceful now I don't have to worry about his drinking and said that I hope she feels the same when his week at home is up and he had to leave, I said that it must be soon? No reply. I can only think that he must be getting another chance. I wish the enabling would just stop. He will never learn this way.
Anyway, yesterday I dropped some of his belongings to his house and left them at the front door. I text his mum so she knew they were there. His mum text back to thank me, but also to say her son still didn't understand why I had broken contact. I told her that if he didn't understand, then I knew I had definitely made the right decision. He's so far in denial. I told her I felt more peaceful now I don't have to worry about his drinking and said that I hope she feels the same when his week at home is up and he had to leave, I said that it must be soon? No reply. I can only think that he must be getting another chance. I wish the enabling would just stop. He will never learn this way.
Where you are NC with your AXBF, I don't believe it's appropriate or in your best interests to be in contact with his mother. Doesn't mean you don't wish her well. It just means you're looking out for yourself.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
She may not have replied because she doesn't want to get involved with her son's relationships...that's how it was with me for my son's.
And yes, I enabled and when I knew better I did better. It's very hard for a mother to let go of an adult child who is on a path of self-destruction. I'm not justifying enabling, just trying to say how it is from a mama's perspective.
You are wise to move forward with your life, and I support your decision.
Hugs and Hugs
And yes, I enabled and when I knew better I did better. It's very hard for a mother to let go of an adult child who is on a path of self-destruction. I'm not justifying enabling, just trying to say how it is from a mama's perspective.
You are wise to move forward with your life, and I support your decision.
Hugs and Hugs
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