Meth Addicted Daughter & Pregnant?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Tucson
Posts: 86
Meth Addicted Daughter & Pregnant?
My meth addicted daughter called me on Saturday. She lives 2 hours away from me, and is basically a homeless sofa surfer.
When she called, she was obviously high and had been in jail for about a week. (When she is in jail, its the only time I know she is safe.)
She called asking for help with money. She said she knew a guy who had an apartment who would let her stay, but needed rent.
She also told me she was pregnant and thought it would help get her straight and if she could get help with a place to stay it would put her on track. She said she found out she was pregnant when she went to jail, and I asked her the last time she smoked meth, and she told me that morning.
So I asked her, how is your being pregnant helping you now? You are still using and endangering your babies life?
I basically told her she is going to have a drug addicted baby and that if it is born that way, it will immediately be taken from her. And if it wasn’t taken from her, she’d probably mistreat it or kill it when it was an infant.
She told me stories of how and where she is living, and that she has passed out in the park or slept under a bridge and almost got raped.
She talked about how she doesn’t like her life or where she is or how she is and that she doesn’t want to live like that, she didnt know how to change and while she is saying this, she says she didn’t want to come home b/c she didn’t want to be here abusing the privilege of living under my roof while still doing drugs…
Basically, she does not want to stop.
I told her she should not have a baby, is she going to take care of a baby under a bridge? Then she mentioned, well, I thought too that if I cant take care of it or it does get taken from me, my family will take care of it.
Im sorry, but I am not in a position to be able to take on a baby, and it makes me incredibly sad, but I struggle as it is. I am single raising 3 kids and only receiving about $150 a month in child support!
When she asked for help on how to get on track, I told her call DES and ask for an appointment. Call a homeless shelter and they can help, etc. Of course, she completely ignores that advice and continues to talk and talk and talk...
I think she just wants money from me, and I told her that if she wanted an abortion, I would help her with that, but I would not give her the money, I would pay the facility directly.
She told me she didn’t want anyone else to know… I don’t care what she wants, so I told her dad and his girlfriend.
Several months ago, she was attacked and someone severed her achiles tendon. She was in the hospital about a week, went home with her dad and not even a day later, left his house to go back on the streets. She never completed rehab or did any follow up.
but she did mention she is walking, and can be on her feet up to at least 3 hours, but that is it, and she is able to run a little, so at least her leg is healing a little.
Im not sure what to do. I don’t think there is much I can do or anyone can do really. I just cant believe this is what she has become.
And I feel so much guilt about her possibly having a baby. I just cant cant cant take that on. I can barely afford my own 3 (ages 15, 11 and 9).
Im so disgusted. and angry. and hurt and scared.
When she called, she was obviously high and had been in jail for about a week. (When she is in jail, its the only time I know she is safe.)
She called asking for help with money. She said she knew a guy who had an apartment who would let her stay, but needed rent.
She also told me she was pregnant and thought it would help get her straight and if she could get help with a place to stay it would put her on track. She said she found out she was pregnant when she went to jail, and I asked her the last time she smoked meth, and she told me that morning.
So I asked her, how is your being pregnant helping you now? You are still using and endangering your babies life?
I basically told her she is going to have a drug addicted baby and that if it is born that way, it will immediately be taken from her. And if it wasn’t taken from her, she’d probably mistreat it or kill it when it was an infant.
She told me stories of how and where she is living, and that she has passed out in the park or slept under a bridge and almost got raped.
She talked about how she doesn’t like her life or where she is or how she is and that she doesn’t want to live like that, she didnt know how to change and while she is saying this, she says she didn’t want to come home b/c she didn’t want to be here abusing the privilege of living under my roof while still doing drugs…
Basically, she does not want to stop.
I told her she should not have a baby, is she going to take care of a baby under a bridge? Then she mentioned, well, I thought too that if I cant take care of it or it does get taken from me, my family will take care of it.
Im sorry, but I am not in a position to be able to take on a baby, and it makes me incredibly sad, but I struggle as it is. I am single raising 3 kids and only receiving about $150 a month in child support!
When she asked for help on how to get on track, I told her call DES and ask for an appointment. Call a homeless shelter and they can help, etc. Of course, she completely ignores that advice and continues to talk and talk and talk...
I think she just wants money from me, and I told her that if she wanted an abortion, I would help her with that, but I would not give her the money, I would pay the facility directly.
She told me she didn’t want anyone else to know… I don’t care what she wants, so I told her dad and his girlfriend.
Several months ago, she was attacked and someone severed her achiles tendon. She was in the hospital about a week, went home with her dad and not even a day later, left his house to go back on the streets. She never completed rehab or did any follow up.
but she did mention she is walking, and can be on her feet up to at least 3 hours, but that is it, and she is able to run a little, so at least her leg is healing a little.
Im not sure what to do. I don’t think there is much I can do or anyone can do really. I just cant believe this is what she has become.
And I feel so much guilt about her possibly having a baby. I just cant cant cant take that on. I can barely afford my own 3 (ages 15, 11 and 9).
Im so disgusted. and angry. and hurt and scared.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hopeful gave some good suggestions, there ARE wonderful places out there that will help her and all she has to do is ask.
I have a feeling (and hope) that what she said was just a ploy to get money from you.
True or not, at the end of the day it's up to her to reach out for real help from those who know how to handle all this.
As the mama of an addict like you, my prayers go out for your daughter and also for you. It breaks our hearts to watch them self-destruct.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
I have a feeling (and hope) that what she said was just a ploy to get money from you.
True or not, at the end of the day it's up to her to reach out for real help from those who know how to handle all this.
As the mama of an addict like you, my prayers go out for your daughter and also for you. It breaks our hearts to watch them self-destruct.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
From one momma whose been in your shoes (a short year ago), I am so sorry and completely understand your feelings, fears, and anger.
You do have to turn her over to your Higher Power. Once you have shared the resources, that's all you can do, sad as it is.
Please take care. My heart goes out to you tonight.
You do have to turn her over to your Higher Power. Once you have shared the resources, that's all you can do, sad as it is.
Please take care. My heart goes out to you tonight.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
This was a difficult post for me to read. When children come into the world of an addict, it's truly awful.
You've gotten a lot of solid, sensible advice. I encourage you to follow through on it, and then stand aside.
So sorry you're going through this. Take care.
You've gotten a lot of solid, sensible advice. I encourage you to follow through on it, and then stand aside.
So sorry you're going through this. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: WI
Posts: 240
Skella I admire that you are able to stand your ground the way you are in such terribly difficult circumstances. I think you are right in doing what you did. Your thinking is logical and realistic. You can only do so much before you just have to let that person go to be responsible for the consequences of their decisions no matter how difficult it is. Bless you
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