XxWhiteDovexX

I had to end my relationship with my boyfriend. I just couldnt handle the constant relapses...and how mean he got afterward. I felt horrible yesterday when he left...like I should try harder...but then he showed even more of what he was capable of doing. I was scared all night...it was awful.

In a way, i think im addicted to.him. even though he did all the bad, i love him..and i wish he was here, but i know for myself and my son this is best

JOIE12

I'm sorry that you are going thru this but you have reached that point when you know that you are more important than the abuse this disease causes. I used to feel badly when one of my friends had to leave his GF because of her mood changes after her MS diagnosis. I never imagined feeling this .... as i am in the same situation.

Stay strong WhiteDove. The sun will shine again

lucky236

The same thing happened with my ex. Its like he doesnt even feel remorse when he treats me badly. The constant relapse manipulation and bipolar tendency is something i dont miss. He gets downright mean and nasty. Can you imagine your whole life like this, it cant be healthy for you emotionally or physically from all the stress. I think you made the right decision focus on your son and yourself first. You never know how long he will cycle in and out of addoction but right now hes not in the right mindset to be a supportive partner to you. You deserve happiness and peace.

Ann

Yes, it is best even if it hurts. You cannot change what was or what is with him, but you can change how you and your child will live your life and not allowing the darkness of addiction and fear in is a darn good start.

Hugs

Twofish

Dear Whitedove,
IMO...miss the addict, not the behavior.
I don't miss being lied to, stolen from and the constant manipulation that went on and on!
It was hard to let go... it really, really hurt and I missed my daughters, but like Ann said
You can change the way you live your life and to not allow addiction and fear to creep back in.
I have a relationship back with my RDs, minus some of the behaviors, but adding boundaries that are enforced. I have a life back, sort of, and I cling to my sweet hope! Support and a little help from my friends...to never be alone!
And it works.
TF

XxWhiteDovexX

I struggle with the choice I made every second. I love him.and I want him home...but he just cant be. He needs to.help himself and so.do I. I just hope this gets easier

jadealexander

My boyfriend emotionally checked out of our relationship months ago. I love him and always will. But I will never be more important than heroin. Even when he's in recovery. Today I started a relationship with someone else. It hurts moving on from my dreams with my ex. But starting a new chapter in my life feels good.

engaged62715

Seems know you know you did the right thing. I just told my fiance I'm done, wedding is canceled etc. Hurts like hell but I know it's what is best for me and our daughter. He knows he needs help and I can't do the work. I pray he gets better but I know I can't live in fear with anxiety waiting for something else to happen. Seek a meeting or counseling it will help. Take care

XxWhiteDovexX

I think it would be easier if he had emotionally checked out. While he was here it was constant broken promises, and "this is it, thisis the time i mean it" and now that I kicked him out and he has nothing he loves me...he needs me...hes ready to do whatever it takes...and I just don't believe him. He totally breaks my heart. Hearing him crying, saying he has nothingto live for...but the things he's done lately..I just can't ignore...I just feel so lost

zoso77

You shouldn't believe him. There's no reason to believe him.

But you're not as lost as you think you are. What you did took an insane amount of courage. When I was faced with a similar situation, I allowed my then AGF back into my life. I didn't have the guts to kick her to the curb.

But you did.

As for your feelings, they will be raw for some time. And that's OK. It's normal. Now's the time for a lot of self care. Try to make sure that your days are busy, and make an effort to not get too lost in your own head.

XxWhiteDovexX

I'm trying so hard....but he's begging me to come see him...that something bad isgonna happen to him ifi dont

ladyscribbler

He is trying to put the responsibility for his life and his choices onto you. That is not love, it is manipulation.
You deserve better.

zoso77

If you believe he's at risk, call 911.