AnvilheadII

Unbelievable!

Police: Man robbed after mom gives him ride to drug deal
By Michael Harthorne Published: Nov 7, 2014 at 1:24 PM PST

SEATTLE -- On Thursday night, a helpful mother drove her 38-year-old son to a drug deal in a Mount Baker park, where he was promptly robbed at gunpoint, according to the Seattle Police Department.

According to police, the victim was driven to Sam Smith Park in the 1400 block of Martin Luther King Way South by his mom around 8 p.m. so he could sell marijuana and marijuana-infused brownies to a man.

After meeting the man in the park, the victim was led to a darker and more secluded area. That's when the man reportedly took out a gun and demanded the victim's marijuana.

According to police, the man grabbed the pot then fired two shots at the victim, who ran back to his mom's car. Mother and son called 911 as they sped away.

Officers searched the park, finding 10 shell casings and some of the brownies but no robber.

zoso77

How much do you want to bet she'll do it again?

Ann

Believable, and sad because it's not a totally unfamiliar story. I may have not gone to that extreme but I truly recognize the insanity of some of the things I did...like threatening to kick down the door of a crack house if my son didn't come out. Totally, completely, certifiably insane...yet it was my "normal" at the time.

Prayers out for that mama and her son. If they only knew they didn't have to live like that, that there is help for each of them.

Thanks, Anvil, revisiting the insanity makes me grateful that I am no longer of that world.

Hugs

suki44883

I'd sure like to hear the story she told the police.

cynical one

Nobody bakes brownies better than mom!

ladyscribbler

LMAO. My mom smoked tons of pot when I was a kid. Until I was in my twenties, actually. She used to hide in her room for hours getting stoned and then eat boxes upon boxes of those Little Debbie snacks. The sight of Little Debbies makes me ill to this day.
Re this article. This is why I read Dear Abby daily. At least twice a week there is a letter like this.
Dear Abby,
No matter how many drug deals I drive my son to, he never seems to want to quit and get a real job, even after being robbed at gunpoint. When will he finally see the light?
Signed,
Brownie baker in Washington

irisgardens

I have some things that I know were insane now and were my normal in that moment...I needed to forgive myself...but know that I cannot do that again...nor many other things.

thequest

It's funny how some people seem to compartmentalize & minimize enabling or manipulative behavior.

I was shocked when a saw a grand parent take his grand daughter to a drug deal on one of those intervention shows but when you see the same or similar stuff you realize it will happen. I still blame the person actually buying the most. I also blame them for even thinking about bringing others in on their habits or "needs". Do what you want but please don't involve others in your crap.

It's amazing how the addict will try to rationalize THEIR needs or openly try to manipulate someone into doing what they want. One thing I noticed as well, try to avoid last minute on the spot favors because the problem one either tries to minimize the favor or say how important or desperate they are with a false urgency to their request. It's tough but you have to say no as often as possible even if it 'seems' legit or harmless.

I guess pot dealing is the family business in this case. And with all the news about legalization I can't help but think their attitude is 'ah, they don't care about little old me' or 'what the heck they're going to legalize it'. But with money and a criminal record including arrest statistics for police at stake this should not be a shock.

irisgardens

I did it twice last year (never before and never again) while my daughter was 'waiting' for dad to come home so we could help her to detox...I was so anxious for her to get better and I was at the end of my rope in all areas of life. It ended up taking me down (along with all the desperate efforts to get her into rehab and then to do tough love (with the court's help) when she got arrested but was getting off without the drug aspects (the judge and DA tried--but she wasn't willing or ready).

I probably feel ashamed and guilty but simply feel stress sick and heartsick now as I experienced the consequences of trying to help her to the point of insanity and there has been so much insanity...that I had to take the steps of going to f2f and coming here more and expressing feelings as I can.

It is embarrassing and I feel guilty to confess but it was true and I am now clinging to recovery...because I know that my strength was gone and I was desperate and she is still using and lost in addiction--we don't even know where she is.

Hard to post but I need to be honest and stay on my path as best I can.

thequest

At least you know what you did was wrong and regret it. Sound normal to me.

A lot of 'enabling' is simply after the fact analysis or what if scenarios. Absolutely true that you should think about what you could do or not to so as not to empower bad behavior directly or indirectly. But in the end it is the addict who choses to use and abuse substances and relationships.

It's sounds like you went to war to get your daughter sober. But your daughter went to war to stay high. I've found be very careful about openly declaring you think someone has a problem or needs an intervention. I look at the words 'intervention' or 'rehab' as a declaration of war simply because the addict does.. The problem one here got violently upset when he found out friends started calling around after a utility shut off because it "ruined his image". He SCREAMED I don't need an intervention or rehab, hours later he is sloshed or seeking alcohol among other things. In a war there are many battles. Some are won some are lost. And always try diplomacy every step of the way. Sometimes you have simply withdrawal from not only the battle but the entire war because of cost.

Also all your efforts of not enabling can too easily spoiled by friends and family who refuse to think anyone in their circle would have a problem. We stopped buying alcohol for the problem one yearS ago yet it is thrown on him at many a gathering. Again it is always best not to enable or empower bad behavior anyway YOU can. And it is the addict that choses to use and abuse.

I hope you didn't wind up with a criminal record or arrest. And if you lost a lot of money in your efforts join the club.

PEACE!

hopeful4

They do all the illegal stuff then call the police for help. Goodness.

I agree, she will do it again. Enabling at it's finest.

irisgardens

thank you thequest...no didn't get arrested...the judge and DA actually saw I was working to 'help' my daughter...but I was really run down and out of energy...so had to accept her no contact--it's been 5 months now. it's hard.

kittycat3

Iris that must have been a difficult thing to post. I admire your courage. I hope you can forgive yourself and move on, you are human after all

irisgardens

Thank you kittycat3--I was scared to post...but needed to be honest...but I struggle with the line between honest and stupid. I am back in my recovery and working my program for all it is worth...there have been so many things throughout my recovery that I am working to view this as another layer of me...deeper down from earlier in life that I need to address. Very confused right now...have many things that seem insolvable but turning over to my HP by the minute and just working to carry on and move forward...it is like moving through quicksand on most days still...but taking one step...one minute at a time.

hopeful4

iris, I too admire your honesty. I think part of your recovery is being able to post.

God Bless!!!!

cynical one

I think the term “enabling” is misunderstood by some and intentionally maligned by others. When it is said that enabling is doing anything for the addict that they can and should be doing for themselves, I think we now need to qualify that to “Enabling is doing anything that helps the addict continue or escalate their use of drugs AND/OR treats them as if they are incapable or as children”.

irisgardens

That is also helpful, cynical!

Chino

Amen.

When I quit enabling my daughter's addiction, she quickly got on the road to recovery. She gets full credit for her successes and failures, just as I do with mine.

Slightly off topic here but I have to brag on her for a minute and this is a good place... We've mostly been DIY kind of people. We don't pay anyone to do what we can and should do for ourselves. Thankfully, it looks like our daughter picked that up, too.

I went over to her house today to drop something off and she was up on the roof. She had quite an audience as she cleaned out her gutters. Her sense of satisfaction was immense and she politely declined my offer of gutter guards.

She really seems to have found herself and it looks like she likes her, too

cynical one

Chino,

That is so cool. Taking away the lessons or the rewards is so damaging. Yes, of course gutter guards would prevent her from having to climb on the roof every fall, but she seems to enjoy it and gets satisfaction from it. However, someday she's going to wish she took you up on that offer. haha

When I was 23 and building my first house, I put a whole lot of "sweat equity" into it. One day I was painting on the foundation coating and my mom came by the jobsite. I was standing in a ditch covered in black goo and she offered to pay to have it done. I declined and finished the job that day. The next morning I couldn't get out of bed, I had pinched my sciatic nerve. 30 years later, now suffering from chronic back pain because of it, I should have took her up on the offer. But at 23 I was an adult and no way was I going to take money from mommy and never did.

thequest

A lot of addicts lack basic survival skills home repair included. Also some refuse to participate in home maintenance because they don't have the patience to delay satisfaction until the job is completed. Not that they can't do it but it's not fun. Here the excuse life's too short-yea theirs. I notice many want a 'whupee' experience every step of the way. It is that impatience that might contribute to their obsessive desire for instant gratification including the use of drugs/alcohol.