Reality
 

I have learned more in the past 7 months about addiction than I ever wanted to. I met the "love of my life" 7 months ago and he confessed his addiction soon thereafter. I should have run as fast as I could, but I thought I could help him.

I have read my same story over and over the past few days and each of those have gently reminded me that he is not going to change, only I can change me.

I fell in love with an addict who lies, steals and manipulates. He has court tomorrow for a DUI/controlled substance with property damage and I was the stupid one who bailed him out of jail. Keeping my fingers crossed he shows up for court tomorrow. If not, I will entail the entire bond.

Time for me to rebuild and take my loss for what it is. I will be attending Anon groups this week and counseling.

Thank you all for your stories and for your honesty.

You're not stupid. When we love someone, we tend to give that person the benefit of the doubt. Even in the face of evidence that suggests that person doesn't deserve it.

So, you made a judgment call. And all you can do now is to take ownership of it and learn from it based on the outcome. That's how we get honest with ourselves, and that's how we grow.

Yep, people give the benefit of the doubt or take people at face value/word because they are thinking this is what a normal sober person would do. Ownership of a judgement call is right on. The people who know they made a bad call and think about it are the ones that will learn & adapt. Life isn't about the perfect record, it's about taking a loss and still be able to move on.

Hello, Jorgenss

I loved it when you said "I will be attending Anon meetings this week." You do that and you'll heal.

Thank you for posting. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you too. Maybe this is as bad as it's going to get.

I hear you Jorgenss. Too many of us have similar stories. You are NOT stupid. All we can do is walk away from these bad situations and know that we will never knowingly put ourselves in this position again.

Definitely go to a meeting! It helps so much.

you did what you did as you cared and tried to help him there is nothing wrong or foolish in what you did at all
so be proud of it i only hope one day the guy finds help and will one day come to see just what it is that you did for him
sadly while there still in the thick of it there is no chance of it

but dont you end up feeling any blame or anything as you did a good thing

good luck to you