Don't know what to do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In Gods Love♥
Posts: 44
Don't know what to do
my nephew is on heroine and he lives in AK and I"m in AL. He's tried to call me numerous of times asking me for money and I tell him no. My sister says NOT TO LET HIM USE ME. He is in the hospital now but threatening to leave if I don't send him the money. He said he will just pan handle if he has to. I just don't know what to do!
just called the hospital and they said he left - now I don't know where he is or nothing.....
PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO COPE WITH THIS.
just called the hospital and they said he left - now I don't know where he is or nothing.....
PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO COPE WITH THIS.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 348
At this stage if the hospital gave him drugs to take out of the hospital or to get filled he'll get them filled if they'll get him high. If they gave him something that won't get him high and he thinks he can get some money out of them, he'll sell them to get his heroin. He's going to do whatever it takes to get the money to get high, whether it's your money or somebody else's. I'm assuming he doesn't have a job to pay for his usage.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
ditto djlook--my daughter has been homeless and has panhandled...she is still using...there have been attempts to help her...she is not ready and she has manipulated every family member. I pray for me and for her...almost down for the count in my own life...and having trouble rising above...there is a lifestyle out there and they hang out with each other and teach each other to be street saavy (my daughter was nothing like she is now) and they 'teach' each other all the tricks...not the ones you want them to learn...I am powerless over my daughter's addiction--it took 5 years for me to accept and my husband...well, I don't know if he has yet...even though we lost everything (3 addicts--thank you God 2 living clean and functional).
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
I have not given my daughter money---learned with the previous 2 addicts...but my husband gave this one money (not a lot)--it made it worse...he learned and we don't give money. We let her come and try to detox when I got insurance back last year...she didn't and I owed medical bills and lost my job (probably the stress of all on the plate but who knows I have so much guilt and am currently working on my stress condition)...so she cannot live here. My daughter manipulated her older sisters and a couple of men into paying for phones for her...but it wasn't to get detox as she promised...and she let it all go anyway. It has been a nightmare...and I now know I am working naranon for me...my 12 step work which has been going on for almost 20 years as well as therapy as well. I am not strong, but I am working my program for survival.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 223
I'm from AK and my XABF is in treatment for Heroin. Not sure which part your nephew is in, but it's pretty common around my neck of the woods. It's awful. It seems like everyday I find more and more people on drugs.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In Gods Love♥
Posts: 44
djlook - no, he has no job, no money just the clothes that he is wearing. He called last night twice but I did not answer. If I did I know that all he would say is that "i'm cold, I'm hungry, send me some money to buy something" And if I say no, I could hear him say fine - I'll just die here.
I know he will try and put guilt on me but I will not enable him in sending him money. I can somewhat deal with this but I worry for my mother - his grandmother. This will just tear her apart - she is 87 years old
I know he will try and put guilt on me but I will not enable him in sending him money. I can somewhat deal with this but I worry for my mother - his grandmother. This will just tear her apart - she is 87 years old
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: In Gods Love♥
Posts: 44
irisgardens - he lived with my sister for 2 years and did the same thing to her. Meaning he got cleaned and then went back. He came down to live with my mother before he moved to AK and from what I could tell, he was fine. But when he lived with her - all the help that she gave him and supported him wiped her savings clean! All of my friends say just pray for him and ask God to help him. And if he calls just tell him that we love him but we will not enable him by giving him money to support his drug habit.
I have read where some people who had family and were on this didn't make - while others survived and got cleaned, had a family and lived a good life.
I must check out the 12 steps that you mentioned.
I'll be praying for you!♥
I have read where some people who had family and were on this didn't make - while others survived and got cleaned, had a family and lived a good life.
I must check out the 12 steps that you mentioned.
I'll be praying for you!♥
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
thanks alwaysthere4u--you are obviously a loving and caring person...and I am so glad you are setting the boundaries...as that is real love for him and your sister and your mother and most importantly, yourself first...he is incapable as an active addict of caring about any of you...he is simply serving his own needs for his doc.
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