auroraxborealis

Hello, all.

It's been a few days since I've posted. I spoke with my cousin K a couple days ago who told me her husband of two years is back into using cocaine. He used a few years ago (five?) but manged to stop, apparently, so they got married, got a house, got their lives together (no kids though).

She said she asked him during an off night a few months ago if he was high, and he of course said no, and got mad at her asking. Well after he was busted, he admitted that yes, he was high that night.

Evidently, he's been using for about 8-9 months. K just found out in the last month. I don't know a whole lot of details, but her sisters and brother all knew, her friends knew, and only one of her friends told her. Her older sister, R, her brother, and K's husband's brothers and their wives are all users.

(In fact, the last two times I've seen her older sister R, who you could not seperate me from without surgical instruments when we were younger) I have only really hung out with twice in the last two years. Each time R was snorting lines with her boyfriend in front of me. Addiction and drug abuse runs in our family. The oldest sister M just got her felony (3rd within 10 years in our state).)

I had given K the rundown last week about what happened with me and my XABF (dumped me, in treatment) and I think that's why she felt comfortable enough to tell me her story. Seems like we have a lot in common about the men we love.

We are going to have a girls night (she's due for a haircut anyways--Ha!) and talk some more. But it seems like we grew from the same branch of the family tree.

I know that might have gotten confusing with all the different people, but I just had to post because I actually feel a sense of relief that I'm not the only one who has relationship issues!!

The last part I wanted to post is we have a local Facebook news site that posts recent arrests. My friend J sent me a link to the post of my childhood friend and his cousin were caught robbing houses and stealing guns. The FB thread is now very long, and it includes his XGF and XW posted about how abusive and mentally unstable he was. (I saw the cousin last summer visiting X in as HWF. He looked like hell. I suspect he went on a meth-fueled bender and my friend went along for the high and the ride.)

My friend J and I couldn't believe it. We'd known him since elemenary school. He was my "BF" in middle school. I totally had a crush on him in high school but he went for J instead. We fought but got over it. I knew we wouldn't date Neither of us pegged him for a women-beater.

But neither of us was a live-in GF or W. I said, this is your brain on drugs. J said she hoped it was just a lapse of judgement. I said that's a big lapse, I'd rather it be the drugs than him thinking, while sober, that would be a good idea.

I guess I do have a pattern. Is two a pattern?

OK, enough rambling. Happy Halloween!

Ann

It's not your pattern, it's just rampant drug abuse happening everywhere in every segment of society.

I'm sorry so many people you know are dealing with this, and I hope they reach out, as you did, and find support at live meetings as well as through friends and family.

Sometimes I just want to shout "Stop the madness" but in the end it would fall on dear ears.

So onward we go, trying to find a good life free from addiction and those who are active in it.

You are a good friend to these people, I hope you and they too find meetings in your area and support.

Hugs

auroraxborealis

Thanks, Ann.

My cousin R got her first DUI on Halloween. Blew a .298 or .289 (I only got most of the story) and spent the night in jail. Been a long time coming.

I wish I could stop the madness.