atalose

His manipulation is not him thinking of YOU it’s him thinking of HIMSELF. It’s not loving or caring or kind or compassionate………..it’s mean and hurtful and an emotional weapon.

YOU NEED and WANT someone to be thinking of you, caring about you………..that isn’t this guy no matter how much you try and convince yourself it is.

WE tell ourselves these things to ease our hurt and pain but guys like him bring with them nothing but hurt and pain.

Block his phone #, de-friend him on Facebook , delete and block him from emailing you………he has absolutely NOTHING positive to offer you but EVERYTHING to TAKE from you.

djlook

Yep.

sparrow15

From your experience...does it get better? I know its a silly question but today I feel like I will never feel normal or happy again. I'm making it through the days but it feels like a struggle...constantly talking myself through negative emotions. I find it hard not to doubt my self worth.

zoso77

Yes, it does get better.

From my own experience, after dealing with my AXGF and her sadism, once she was out of the picture, a sense of calm took it's place. The moment she left, I decided I was done with her and her act once and for all. All that was left was to ride out the storm.

And it was a bit as you describe, minus the doubting of my self worth. See, I had come to understand that her behavior wasn't about me. It was about her. The same applies to your AXBF; his behavior is deplorable, and it has nothing to do with you. So don't let him make you doubt your self worth.

Choose to be done with him. Choose to begin the process of healing. Choose to get honest with yourself about why you kept letting him back into your life when you knew on some level it wasn't good for you. That part's important; if you don't learn from the experiences you've had, you're always going to be susceptible to repeating those mistakes.

And I think you've had enough unpleasantries to last you for quite some time.

Twofish

Dear Zoso,
Thank you for sharing that very WISE experience about how we can doubt our self-worth.
With me, the manipulation was/is soo convincing that I doubt my self-worth constantly...
I have to practice, every minute sometimes, that the behavior has nothing to do with ME!
Yes, we do have a choice... and making that choice can be one of the most difficult and painful choices we will ever make.
I need to STOP being frozen and be honest and healthy with myself, make that choice, seek that support, and keep those memories in the past.
I do know what is good for me, just wish it didn't hurt so much!
TF