The Stillness Within
 

Quietude has always been where I find my answers and my peace with whatever life hands me. Nature is my special place where I can think and listen to what the breeze wants me to hear. Walking the shore invigorates my spirit and helps me find strength to face what lies ahead.

I have shared recently that my husband is very sick, he is seeing specialist and we are hoping that days ahead for him will be better and trust the miracle of modern medicine and surgery as well as the love of God to take him to a better place with his illness.

As if that wasn't enough...I recently discovered what turns out to be a malignant breast tumour and have had to take fast action to plan a course for myself. I am grateful to live in a country with wonderful health care...I booked myself into one of the best cancer hospitals in the world with one of the best oncologists and will visit there next week to begin what I hope will be a fast and quick process and have this darn thing taken care of.

Needless to say, my mind has been racing lately, and physically I have been running for tests and more tests and making arrangements and trying to coordinate my treatment with that for my husband...and it's enough to make anyone crazy and exhausted.

But...this is Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, and I shall take time for quietude walking in the autumn splendor here. I will have a turkey dinner and thank God for all the many blessings in my life...including wonderful doctors and free medical treatment.

It is in the quiet times and the times of gratitude that my soul finds its peace. It is when I am able to organize "the next step" and prepare for what lies ahead. I shall remind myself of this often as I go through the days ahead.

Recovery has brought me so many blessings, including the blessing that today I live in faith rather than fear. Fear is no longer an option in my life, it's a dark place where I lived for far too long. So today I will live in the light, embrace the beauty and find quietude for my spirit and mind.

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends here, and happy "quietude" for all who are overwhelmed by the "noise" of chaos and busy-ness.

Love you all

Hugs

Dear Ann,
I am so sorry to hear about your recent tests results. I don't know what to say except that we love you and as your SR family we will sit in quietude and ask God to look after you and that your journey be positive.
I didn't know. Thank you for sharing such a personal fact with us. We are going to be there with you each step of the way.
Hugs, many gently hugs and prayers to you and your husband,
TF

I am so sorry Ann. I will say prayers for you and your husband. In your quiet and gentle way, you have touched so many lives. Mine. Sharing what you have learned and the lessons along the way, bring sanity to others. Me. Stay strong as God isn't finished with you yet ! hugs

Ann, you are both in my prayers for swift and speedy healing. A dear friend of mine just made her way through an aggressive type of breast cancer, and now, a year later she is doing well, having endured it with lots of good humor, restful quietude, and grace. I know you will do the same, since those are your gifts as well. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. It has meant the world to me.

And Happy, Blessed Thanksgiving!

Thank you Ann for your post and sending prayers for you and your husband. Happy Thanksgiving to you and sending you best wishes.

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. This is the kind of thing that is every woman's worst nightmare and yet when it actually happens all I feel is the need to do whatever needs doing and keep moving.

A sense of humour helps most of all and puts me and my family and friends at ease when we talk about it.

I took a long quiet walk this afternoon and I really feel positive about how this will unfold. My faith will see me through the storm.

Hugs

Ann sending prayers your way~

Ann, you are such a wonderful person and a big part of the steps in recovery I am taking now are thanks to reading your posts and following your suggestions.

Know that prayers will continue going your way.

So grateful for your presence here...supposedly (according to other people) I am a very smart lady...but I feel totally blind and unknowing of anything as I seek to follow this path to recovery for myself...instead of so many others...so much fear and scared and yet...your post is about anything but and I pray that I may find the kind of recovery that you have...and to continue to take steps even when I am so lost and have no idea if it is working but just that I need to take the steps and follow the suggestions and learn rather than just gather information...integrate and practice rather than just talk as if I know what I am really talking about...and rest in the promises.

ann, so sorry to hear of your illness as well as your husbands. you have given support to so many here and i wish you strength to get through this most difficult of times .

Sending lots of good thoughts and prayers, Ann. Your plate has been very filled with life challenges in recent months. You have many walking with you so if you need some help up the steeper hills, just reach out - there are many willing hands.

I am completely convinced that a positive outlook and faith ...in one's HP, the process, the medical providers..is a tremendous and powerful aspect of physical and emotional healing. Your strength, your sense of humor and your faith will see you through this difficult time.

But truly...you did NOT have to do this to promote breast cancer awareness month!

Have a peaceful and joyful Thanksgiving. :hug:

Ann..thank you for sharing..my prayers and thoughts will be with you
each day..I had a scare 6 months ago..each time I would come to SR
and read your posts and see your lovely world (that I could call home)
it was a restive place due to your positive attitude. Peace dear lady.

hugs
lauren

Ann, thank you for sharing with us, and in doing so, you have recruited an army of love, prayers, and crazy peeps walking side by side with you.
I am sorry for this worry, this scary time. I am so glad that you have wonderful health care and the best hospital ever for treatment. You will be well cared for, and things will be back to normal, even better than that, I know. because thats the kind of person you are.:hug:
much much love, coming your way. Prayers going up, in three, two , one.

my two favorite bible passages (not that i'm a big bible person) are:

Be still, and know that I am God.

and from Matthew 6 - 26"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27"And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?…

these really comfort me. sending warm and loving thoughts to Ann and her dear Bubba.

:lmao

I am more aware than I ever hoped to be and plan to get this over and done quickly.

I read a lot today, the hospital I am going to has a wonderful "team" that works with you and considers your personal preferences in planning the treatment. I read enough to feel just fine that I can handle this and that it's not near as scary as I thought it might be...okay, I confess, I did anticipate some scary moments but after all, Halloween approaches!!!

And I cannot express how much your kind words and prayers touch my heart.

Anvil, those words...Be still, and know that I am God. are now written in the front of the journal I am taking and I will read them often. They recommend bringing a journal to take notes and record names and contact info of everyone on my support team...little do they know that I already have a support team here of thousands and thousands of people, lol, and I am taking each one of you with me next week so pack a book and snacks, it could be a long day. But it's much more fun with friends along.

Love you all, really I do.

Hugs

Even though we know everything's going to be alright, I still hate that you've had this scare. It's so good you've wanted to share with those who love you here. I'll continue to pray, of course - and will be so happy when you're given the all clear. I admire your humor and grace. Love you so much Ann. :hug:

Thanks, Hev. They have a big support team that works with you and I just don't have the heart to tell them that I already have a support group of thousands. :D

Dear Ann,
On my way out the door to early service, with my son in tow....
You will be on the top of my list of prayers this morning. You will always and forever
Have our support.
Hugs!
TF

Hey Lady! You ain't go'in anywhere. Your SR family is 'gonna stage a wildcat
strike and block any exit path. You still have metric tons (Canadian angle....get it?)
of wisdom and compassion to share.......and share you WILL, for many years to come.
I'm not qualified to quote Bible verse to you but is IS a substantial book and the
duck is not above thwacking you on the head with the thing----to get your attention.
Tell us where this goddamned tumor is an we'll wrap a stinking pink ribbon around
it attached to an anvil (no pun intended) and throw it into Lake Ontario.
But we're NOT surrendering our Ann. Not quietly.Not loudly.

NOT AT ALL!!!!!

I'm so sorry for all you are going through. You are so lucky to have free medical care instead of our system here in the U.S.

Hopefully things won't be too difficult and you'll be quick in and quick out. I just went on a breast cancer awareness walk here yesterday. I am wishing you the best.

Hugs, Kari