|
Cannot take much more Dear SR, I'm sitting here in the home I love and have lived I'm for 15 yrs. I've raised my children, watched them laugh and learn and fall and recover. My mind had to be programmed to accept addiction as a disease to which I am powerless to fixing. My heart and my will have been challenged by near fatal accidents, overdoses and suicide attempts. I have been alone with my mind for too long. My support rose me to above this painful level. I greatly appreciated my group meetings. I saw other mothers cry...made me cry for their suffering and inability to help our children. We can only help ourselves. My heart ached for my children. Just to hear their voices... SR saw me threw all of this.... Then, when I started feeling stronger and better and healthy...another bomb hit my world. Today, via text message, my husband informed me that for his best interests, he has filed for a divorce and that I should be served by the end of the week...I just stared at my iPhone. What? After 30 yrs of marriage he wants a divorce? He Said there's too drama and he wants out. He had it all figured out, in this text, I would pay for this and he would pay for that? My heart just about threw its self out of my mouth. What about me? I've been here with all this drama, alone, while he went to work in MN. He has walked away, he has quiet and peace. What about me? Where did this strength go? Where did my courage go? Where did the love go? No blame game happening here. I know drug addiction has played a part, but if I could do it over again, would I enable my children, neglect my marriage, fight for something I thought was lasting a life time? I'm in shock. I know. I was texted a devastating blow, an unexpected message when he should of told me in person. What is it with the text messaging these days? Where did telling someone to their face go? Or at least face time? I'll never know now. The last brick was pulled out of the marriage and now I'm all alone. I'm all alone. I needed to tell someone. You have been my constant friend. I am alone now and it hurts. It really hurts. TF |
I am so, so sorry! It was really rude of him to do that to you. I hate addiction--this is another way that the disease of addiction affects many more people than just the addict. I'll pray for your peace. |
Wow. What an unbelievable coward. Twofish I am so sorry this is happening, please keep reaching out for support. |
Today, via text message, my husband informed me that for his best interests, he has filed for a divorce and that I should be served by the end of the week...I just stared at my iPhone. What? After 30 yrs of marriage he wants a divorce? He Said there's too drama and he wants out. He had it all figured out, in this text, I would pay for this and he would pay for that? Do you have friends who are local to you? |
he's taken himself out of the picture for a long time 2fish....returning when he finds it convenient. 30 years counts for a good lawyer...Lawyer up and protect yourself for your sake. I am sorry he is such a pickhead, he doesn't know how to support you emotionally. YOU deserve much better and I hope you find it. |
I am near tears reading this, Twofish. My heart aches for you. I am so, so sorry for your pain and for the cowardly way he disrespected you and the long marriage you have had. I am sending a big warm hug your way--a long one! Yes to getting a good lawyer. You will get alimony, I hope. And that sounds so clinical at this point, but I have to agree with Fandy. Don't cave because you feel bad or for any reason. Think about all that later, though. One thing I have learned in my short two years here and at meetings is that the tools I have acquired towards my own recovery, brought on by my daughter's addiction, have been useful in many other aspects of my life. Use them and they will serve you well. Again, my love and big hugs to you. Peace, honey. Take care of yourself. |
I am so so sorry to hear this. |
Oh, my. I don't even have words to express how this thread has affected me. A efing txt? 30 years and its a txt? WTF? I am sorry. Soo sorry. I wish I could hug you right now. The balls. Ugh. |
I am so sorry, Twofish. :hug: Don't let him tell you how the assets will be split, let your lawyer tell you your rights. You have the children to raise in the family home...he may not be entitled to anything and will have to pay support. And don't let him make you communicate by text. You don't have to do or agree to anything you don't want to. Hugs |
Twofish, I'm so glad you shared this with your friends here. You are never alone. Prayers are going up for you to be comforted as you go through this. We share your outrage and sadness. I hope you'll continue to post about this - we care, and it may help relieve your anxiety a bit. :hug: |
I agree with Fady and Ann, TF. You deserve much better, and I'mm sorry for this. As painful as it must be right now, I hope ultimately this will lead you to a better life and a better love though :) Get a good lawyer and get a just settlement, for you and your children :hug: D |
((Twofish)) You don't deserve this...please hire an attorney ASAP. After thirty years of marriage it's not as easy as your husband thinks. Find out your rights! I just hate this for you and know you're devastated. Who wouldn't be? We're here for you, you're not alone. We'll get through this together. Please hang on my friend. http://www.en.kolobok.us/smiles/big_...rt/empathy.gif |
My Friends, Yes I'm devastated and I am hurting. Thank you for the support and kind words. I'm just so sad. TF |
That's just low down and you deserve better than that. You're too good for a coward like that. But most of all, I'm so sorry you're hurting. |
Sending prayers out your way Twofish... Im sorry this happened to you. |
I can't sleep or think straight. The night is so lonely, it frightens me. I wish I was dreaming, to wake up from yet another bad dream. Please treasure your marriage or your SO. Addiction ands it's pathway and drama affects so many people. Feeling loved...I don't feel loved. I pray the morning will come soon. It's so dark out... TF |
I think it's safe to say you are very much loved here TF :) Lean on us while you work through this. D |
Dear Twofish, Had a couple of mortars land inside my perimeter of late, and have been off the boards as a result. Real close hits. But never so close as to be unable to provide solace to a dear friend. You are NOT alone. Read that sentence as many times as you need to. We stick together around here and we NEVER leave a soldier behind. You're scared. I'm scared. Different opponent, same emotion. We'll get through this. Promise. |
As if you haven't been through enough already. So sorry you are going through this. 30 yrs then this shocker. Hang in there! |
Twofish - some people just can't take the drama with addiction but we know here none of us have a choice in that. We only can create our own world and actions. His despicable cowardly act proves himself of lesser quality as a husband and a father. His choice will now create a wall of unabated selfishness while you my friend stand with yourself. But and its a big but.....standing with yourself will prove to be the lemonade in the lemon - your strong, loving, kind and determined to listen when you need a reach out. I say to any of us out there who have reached out to SR , your smarter than most because you know when to ask for help and advice. We ALL stand with you - we all share with you the sense of loneliness that addiction and its aftermath can create. But know strength in numbers are at your disposal and regardless of what you may think right now, it will get better day in day out. God be with you and lucky are you to have yourself. |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:29 PM. |