Cannot take much more
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Call your lawyerm Twofish and they can start a guarnishee on his wages to ensure your family is fed.
All he is proving is that he really is a heartless jerk. Perhaps that's the lesson here, to see him clearly for the person he is.
You will be okay, do you have family or friends who can help you until you get this straightened out?
Hugs
All he is proving is that he really is a heartless jerk. Perhaps that's the lesson here, to see him clearly for the person he is.
You will be okay, do you have family or friends who can help you until you get this straightened out?
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 117
TF - I remember standing in the hallway of a hospital while my 8 months pregnant daugther sat in the exam room with her (then) fiance. He was high on Xanax and begging for pain meds. I just stood there and cried. How was this our life? Then, from nowhere, a woman came up to me, put her arms around me and said "God's got this" and then she just walked away. Every time I would get down or scared or anxious about whatever I was going through, I would hear her voice. God impressed on her heart that day to reach out to me and she obeyed. She has NO IDEA the impact she had on my life (so many lessons in that 5 second encounter). The things is ... she was right. "God's got this" ... he always has and he always will. God bless that lawyer for what he did for you and God bless you for what you do for us!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Originally Posted by Twofish 
Dear SR,
Welcome Jaeger, I will read your story soon, thank you for your support and taking the time to read mine.
Ok, I'm in a big panic right now, my courage is running low, I'm not going to cry or run from this, I opened my bank statement and he did what he threatened...only deposited a portion of his check. What am I gonna do, keeps running thru my mind like a copy machine does. I AM NOT ALONE IAM NOT ALONE. Don't cry TF, breathe just breathe
He did what he said he would and now I have all these bills...my cell phone still works, I still have food in my frig and some gasoline in the car. Breathe.
I AM NOT ALONE. but I do have to wake my son up for school.
It has happened and I have to breathe and I AM NOT ALONE. Breathe.
TF
Welcome Jaeger, I will read your story soon, thank you for your support and taking the time to read mine.
Ok, I'm in a big panic right now, my courage is running low, I'm not going to cry or run from this, I opened my bank statement and he did what he threatened...only deposited a portion of his check. What am I gonna do, keeps running thru my mind like a copy machine does. I AM NOT ALONE IAM NOT ALONE. Don't cry TF, breathe just breathe
He did what he said he would and now I have all these bills...my cell phone still works, I still have food in my frig and some gasoline in the car. Breathe.
I AM NOT ALONE. but I do have to wake my son up for school.
It has happened and I have to breathe and I AM NOT ALONE. Breathe.
TF
================================================
He did what he said he'd do......(try to sandbag you), so it's time for you
to collect yourself, center, and develop a plan of attack (notice I didn't say
defense) with your lawyer----and execute. This is totally overwhelming to you
now and we totally understand that. But this happens thousands of times a day
all over the US and the system is completely aware of what's going on.
Cool hand Luke decides he wants to 'slip out the back' and not do the 'family
thing' any more........."I really, really like this Corvette---but
I'm broke so I'll just drive it off the lot without paying".
Our society works because of an interlocking set of commitments.
Without those commitments-----society fails, the grocery stores empty,
and we all starve.
I agree with Ann. Organize your support structures. Start IMMEDIATE
emergency garnishment procedures, talk to your lawyer about local temporary
assistance programs. They are NOT giveaways, there is no shame---this is
what they are THERE for......nothing pisses me off more than when lowlifes
portray these emergency assistance programs as unsound. I'll wager I pay
more into these structures than 99% of readers. It is an investment in
families needing temporary assistance akin to the W.H.O. programs that
prevent humans from losing their sight for a lifetime for the lack of a few
pennies of medicine.
Your husband is playing the "I 'wanna crawl back into the womb and
shirk the responsibilities that I have voluntarily undertaken"-----chase
'chikkies' and in general act out the pathetic buffoon stage that some men
seem to need to go through.
Twofish, the times facing you will be scary---I'm not saying they won't
be. But society has been around ALOT longer than either you or your husband
and abandoning a family in mid trajectory strikes at the very core of its
vital center. Society WILL look after it's vital interest (structures can ALWAYS
be trusted to look after their vital interests).
Not only are you not alone.......there are 7 billion of us. And 99% of us
are repulsed by a man who turns his back on his family. And we make our
repulsion known through the structures we create. I have talked to many a
divorced man who has lamented how one-sided, unfair, and biased the divorce
laws are in favor of the women.
Yeah, buffoon....they ARE.......(by design)
The logic is like arguing that a 1000 megawatt reactor operator should have the
right to come to work drunk. "NO-------idiot, I know this is hard for your undeveloped
brain to absorb, but there ARE things more important in life than YOU".
YOU are feeling scared, abandoned, and alone (understandably).
But HE is the one that needs to worry. Society reserves a special
vengeance for those who strike at it's vital core (the family)---and
it exercises said vengeance without rancor, without mercy..
...and without pity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear SR,
First, thank you for staying with me and supporting me when my chips are down and my world feels unstable. Almost as painful to when my daughters were in the grips of addiction...not realizing that their moms pleas to stop were falling on deaf ears, like pleading with a rock.
I am on disability. I never took advantage of the programs they offer...I did today. Medicare benefits at 54. That will help soon.
My son offered me his savings account $, umm, no. That's his life savings and it's for a car. He's only 15 and will be driving soon. It's not a lot of $, but it's HIS that HE saved.
After school today, he said he can get free hot lunch, a lot of his friends do and it can save us $. Oh, he's been thinking about our future. He's being a bigger man than his dad.
I said, good idea and thanked him. That blew my mind...
So, I've been on the phone all day. Emotionally drained as to be expected.
I transferred any $ into my private acct that he can't access. Also, secured the retainer for the attorney. This doesn't feel real, just like last year, when my daughters were dying from their addiction, it doesn't/didn't/doesn't feel real. And life isn't fair sometimes, a lot of times, but it goes on. One foot in front of the other and go forward to the light.
My friends, I have been listening to you...
These things that keep happening to my family, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. They suck and they hurt. There's no easy answer to calm the storm.
I'm not going to let ME get sick with a broken heart, again. I learned from the active addiction days to take care of me.
Yes a bumpy road today indeed. And I'm all over the place. But my courage and hope and support are alive and well and safe.
Yes, Gods got this one and he will guide you and me. I AM NOT ALONE, I AM NOT ALONE.
The weekend is here, my daughters are still sober, my support, your support is strong, I will breath and take care of my son and myself. Life will go on. I can do this, I can breath and I AM NOT ALONE.
Have a beautiful weekend SR,
TF
First, thank you for staying with me and supporting me when my chips are down and my world feels unstable. Almost as painful to when my daughters were in the grips of addiction...not realizing that their moms pleas to stop were falling on deaf ears, like pleading with a rock.
I am on disability. I never took advantage of the programs they offer...I did today. Medicare benefits at 54. That will help soon.
My son offered me his savings account $, umm, no. That's his life savings and it's for a car. He's only 15 and will be driving soon. It's not a lot of $, but it's HIS that HE saved.
After school today, he said he can get free hot lunch, a lot of his friends do and it can save us $. Oh, he's been thinking about our future. He's being a bigger man than his dad.
I said, good idea and thanked him. That blew my mind...
So, I've been on the phone all day. Emotionally drained as to be expected.
I transferred any $ into my private acct that he can't access. Also, secured the retainer for the attorney. This doesn't feel real, just like last year, when my daughters were dying from their addiction, it doesn't/didn't/doesn't feel real. And life isn't fair sometimes, a lot of times, but it goes on. One foot in front of the other and go forward to the light.
My friends, I have been listening to you...
These things that keep happening to my family, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. They suck and they hurt. There's no easy answer to calm the storm.
I'm not going to let ME get sick with a broken heart, again. I learned from the active addiction days to take care of me.
Yes a bumpy road today indeed. And I'm all over the place. But my courage and hope and support are alive and well and safe.
Yes, Gods got this one and he will guide you and me. I AM NOT ALONE, I AM NOT ALONE.
The weekend is here, my daughters are still sober, my support, your support is strong, I will breath and take care of my son and myself. Life will go on. I can do this, I can breath and I AM NOT ALONE.
Have a beautiful weekend SR,
TF
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Thinking of you today. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am glad you are calling to see what is available. You will get through this and you will be ok. God Bless your sweet son. What a caring young man he is!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Ive been thinking,
The victim in all of this drama and upset, then, now and moving forward...is my youngest child. He has watched as one by one his sisters fell, strong sisters....but no match for that powerful addiction that stole their souls and held them captive.
And he watched in silence, as his mom tried for months and years, alone and afraid, to pull those s sisters out of addictions hellhole, and he watched me fail. I couldn't reach their hijacked minds... alone, I fought, and where was their father? He knows. He watched him stay away, walked away from the drama, left the family in the hands of a broken mom and a young man. And he watched him blame this sad mom. He caved and that happens...and he detached from us all..
My son was stung by addiction, but he didn't run, or blame or make excuses.
What he did was give support, not by words, but by believing in and being there for the ones who were left behind. He didn't understand it but he took care of himself and made sure I did the same.
This young man of 15 will make a wonderful caring father some day. He weathered the storm and emerged strong. Now he becomes the strength I look to.
I thank God for the gift, my son and daughters. I thank God for you, who reads this and supports the families and friends that addiction touches, some of us make it out while others keep fighting and clinging to sweet hope.
Don't be afraid but take care of yourself because someday, if addiction may weaken, the fallen will return to us...
Lets always be supportive of each other, our SR family.
TF
The victim in all of this drama and upset, then, now and moving forward...is my youngest child. He has watched as one by one his sisters fell, strong sisters....but no match for that powerful addiction that stole their souls and held them captive.
And he watched in silence, as his mom tried for months and years, alone and afraid, to pull those s sisters out of addictions hellhole, and he watched me fail. I couldn't reach their hijacked minds... alone, I fought, and where was their father? He knows. He watched him stay away, walked away from the drama, left the family in the hands of a broken mom and a young man. And he watched him blame this sad mom. He caved and that happens...and he detached from us all..
My son was stung by addiction, but he didn't run, or blame or make excuses.
What he did was give support, not by words, but by believing in and being there for the ones who were left behind. He didn't understand it but he took care of himself and made sure I did the same.
This young man of 15 will make a wonderful caring father some day. He weathered the storm and emerged strong. Now he becomes the strength I look to.
I thank God for the gift, my son and daughters. I thank God for you, who reads this and supports the families and friends that addiction touches, some of us make it out while others keep fighting and clinging to sweet hope.
Don't be afraid but take care of yourself because someday, if addiction may weaken, the fallen will return to us...
Lets always be supportive of each other, our SR family.
TF
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
There is always hope and you are living proof of that. God Bless you and thank you for your thread as in the last year...I actually had some of my most trusted friends look at me and say...'you have had a hard life'...because of the affects of addiction throughout life. I came here and joined the SR family in really challenging circumstances and as i have read and seen all of you post...I want to be on this path...and as I have watched you post so honestly and truly...you are helping me stand up every day and do something and to work the steps I can. You are a marvelous mother...it is obvious to me...and I am sending prayers for you and your young son as well. He has, as many of us did...had to grow up and be an adult too quickly and yet your love and warmth and strength (no matter how broken you find yourself...I see your strength in the perseverance and love and resiliency) will teach your son...and I will pray for other adult males who can also mentor him and develop his wonderful personality as he grows and develops. God Bless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Ok you big sweet Duck,
Since my first days here, quacking, you have believed in me and shown me great positive support. When I have been down, beaten to giving up hope down, you held your hand out to me and pulled me up and all those tears I've cried, stinging me eyes and heart...you have dried them. And now, the man that should be here, the dad, baled on me because the drama became too deep. So, what did you do, YOU big sweet Duck? You and your posse swam through the drama and chaos and put me on dry land, my feet on stable ground and you still believe and support me. Thanks again Vale, you Big sweet Duck, for supporting this humbled mom, but a faithful member, a stronger member of our SR family.
I will swim now through any stormy waters, with my support life jacket secured to me tightly. Thanks Vale and your posse for the hope and support that tomorrow will be that sunny day!
TF
Since my first days here, quacking, you have believed in me and shown me great positive support. When I have been down, beaten to giving up hope down, you held your hand out to me and pulled me up and all those tears I've cried, stinging me eyes and heart...you have dried them. And now, the man that should be here, the dad, baled on me because the drama became too deep. So, what did you do, YOU big sweet Duck? You and your posse swam through the drama and chaos and put me on dry land, my feet on stable ground and you still believe and support me. Thanks again Vale, you Big sweet Duck, for supporting this humbled mom, but a faithful member, a stronger member of our SR family.
I will swim now through any stormy waters, with my support life jacket secured to me tightly. Thanks Vale and your posse for the hope and support that tomorrow will be that sunny day!
TF
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Oh, Dear Duck, Friday came and went, so did Saturday, and what happened? Nothing. Just a beautiful sunny day. I stopped that obsessive thinking today. All I did was take care of my son, my dogs and myself. I took a break from the worry and constant drama. And I ended up with dry eyes and a peaceful, easy feeling. Just for today, I felt myself relax.
TF
TF
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 15
Twofish - you are NEVER alone as long as you have SR! You are an amazing and strong person and I am proud to know you. You and this thread will serve to be an inspiration to many.
You CAN do this and you are NOT alone. (((HUGS)))
You CAN do this and you are NOT alone. (((HUGS)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Kam,
Thanks for the support. You too will know when and if you have had enough, I hope you and your dear husband have a positive outcome. And,
Welcome to SR! Keep reading and keep posting. We are a family now, the SR family!
Don't forget, take care of you!
TF
Thanks for the support. You too will know when and if you have had enough, I hope you and your dear husband have a positive outcome. And,
Welcome to SR! Keep reading and keep posting. We are a family now, the SR family!
Don't forget, take care of you!
TF
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Dear Twofish,
As far as "My" posse goes---- and this must not go
uncorrected! ----- I most definitively serve at the pleasure
of MY section leader (Ann). I would add a ton of other names
but several of them are (no doubt) poised with duck tape
and eyeballing nearby walls.��. Vale is not a cowardly duck
but (like any rational organism) .....will act to avoid pain.
Vale has stepped in more piles of you know what since
he's been here-----his plumage should be brown not white,
but the one pile he is FAR too disciplined to step into is
rank insubordination.
Your crisis will pass. They always do. Then it will be
YOUR JOB to return and let others know how it's done. You
are already a beacon of hope to others........time will just
crank up the wattage!
As far as "My" posse goes---- and this must not go
uncorrected! ----- I most definitively serve at the pleasure
of MY section leader (Ann). I would add a ton of other names
but several of them are (no doubt) poised with duck tape
and eyeballing nearby walls.��. Vale is not a cowardly duck
but (like any rational organism) .....will act to avoid pain.
Vale has stepped in more piles of you know what since
he's been here-----his plumage should be brown not white,
but the one pile he is FAR too disciplined to step into is
rank insubordination.
Your crisis will pass. They always do. Then it will be
YOUR JOB to return and let others know how it's done. You
are already a beacon of hope to others........time will just
crank up the wattage!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Thanks for the uplift Vale and the posse!
Lesson learned, taking notes on this sad crisis.
Will be honored to pass along anything I've l learned
along the way. And support that next lone soldier caught
in the crossfire of life.
TF
Lesson learned, taking notes on this sad crisis.
Will be honored to pass along anything I've l learned
along the way. And support that next lone soldier caught
in the crossfire of life.
TF
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
All day so far, I have felt calm...tomorrow the storm may start. That's ok, I'm going to walk thru it a bit frightened (of the unknown) but walking thru it with my head up. What will be will be, the future hasn't happened yet.
I feel at peace that I won't face this rainy day Monday, alone.
TF
I feel at peace that I won't face this rainy day Monday, alone.
TF
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
TF wishing you a very peaceful night with your wonderful caring son and praying for a good day tomorrow. Chin up, head high. You have no idea how many who lurk here are following you and watching you. Vale, yeah he's a good egg.............I mean duck.
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