Chino

If she relapsed while doing subs and or methadone, then she is not done yet.

If she wants a geographic cure, then she needs to stay out there in CA.

camerajen

I wouldn't even know where to start with the California thing. The medical copays have taken a toll on us financially. As if right now she says she's going on methadone for a couple of days to get off the heroin, then sobering up, then going to Cali to live at a sober house like a few if her friends have done. I think Her brain has been damaged. So I don't know what to do next. If detoxing at home is too dangerous per some helpful comments on this feed then it seems like I almost have to come up with more money for some type of treatment. well tomorrow is another day...

Chino

If she goes to a methadone clinic then there's no reason to send her to another detox facility.

Or maybe it's time for her to find an addictionologist since her way doesn't work.

What about you? What are you doing for you?

hopeful4

Thirty days is a very short amount of time for an H addiction. Only she can decide when she wants to recover and how badly, no matter how much either of you try to babysit her.

I am so sorry. That sounds so callous and I don't mean it in that way. I hear the weariness in your post and my heart just hurts for you.

Twofish

Dear Cam,
I feel the pain from your heart coming thru the thread...I'm so sorry you are on this cruel addiction journey, you want it to STOP, right?
I'm a momma of two recovering daughters...one on the Suboxone/opt therapy the other detoxed, inpt, IOP and continued aftercare with those never ending mental illnesses lurking around her.
My children are now 20 & 23. Just know, I KNOW what you're going thru and you have my support and prayers and hope...and what I would ask you...please take care of yourself, support and self care are what's important to you now, you have to put yourself ahead of everything, that's hard to do but Chino and Zoso and the others are right, listen to their excellent advice...What choice do you have?
Take care, I will be thinking good thoughts for you, PM me anytime, I/We care,
TF

GardenMama

Another mother of an addict here...My daughter started using H at 16 and she is 21 now, sober for over 100 days. This go-round of recovery she seems much more willing to do the hard work, so I am hopeful. She is on methadone for the first time ever, was in rehab for over 90 days and has just signed up for 6 months of intensive outpatient at her methadone clinic. This is much more than she has ever done for recovery, but she had to hit her own low to get here. I had to tell her after she left treatment at 19 that she could not come home, regardless of her IOP or sobriety at that tender early recovery. Like everyone else here, we have a long story, but what you learn in the end is that your child has to want sobriety more than heroin. And heroin is often in charge, so this makes it even harder for the undeveloped and damaged brain.

I have never heard of someone getting methadone for "a couple of days," unless they are getting it illegally! To get it legally, she has to undergo a drug use assessment, have a counselor, have her medical records reviewed, etc. It sounds like she is just telling you what you want to hear. If you feel like researching things for yourself, which I did and continue to do for my own sanity, by all means DO, but you also need to do work on your own self-care and recovery, as others have suggested. The books mentioned are great, and NarAnon meetings are extremely helpful. If you don't have NarAnon in your area, AlAnon will offer you the same kind of support. My NarAnon meeting is mostly parents of heroin addicts...

Please keep reading here, reading books about addiction, self-care, etc. Another resource you may try is soberfamilies.com.

Take care, and keep us posted.

Twofish

Hey GardenMama...you were reading my mind! You just can't get "Suboxone" or "Methadone" for a few days...ummm...no...especially with Suboxone, there's a waiting
time, a detox time, a intake time a getting adjusted to what dose will make you feel normal time and the therapy, support meetings, etc, etc etc
She must be getting it illegally, which is dangerous. These are very serious maintainence meds they demand a Drs/therapists supervision plus need to be taken a
particular way and on a particular time frame. She is in danger and hurting herself...her
addiction continues to be in charge....
Cam, I feel for you...don't get sucked into this "needs just a few days of Suboxone " talk, that's all it is..talk coming from the mouth of addiction. I'm so so sorry about this but educate yourself on these MM and the protocol for getting a PRESCRIPTION for these meds.
Stay with us Cam, we tell you these facts to support you, addiction doesn't care...we do.
TF

camerajen

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. It helps me so much to know I'm not alone. What she does is go to the methadone clinic, get assessed, get the doses for a week or until she thinks the heroin is out of get system, and then goes to detox to get off the methadone and then use again. It's madness!!!!!!! They assess her every time and go through all of that counseling etc. and she went back there today I'm sure. Her logic, if you can call it that, is that the methadone gets her out of the heroin withdrawals, then only a few days on methadone isn't enough to cause withdrawals. It is utter madness. I need to start taking care if myself. I just found out via this forum that there is a nar-anon meeting on Wednesdays nearby. Thank you everyone. You've helped so much