Yogagurl

I'm going to change my number this evening, clearly I can't keep contact with him. I woke up to suicide threats this morning. Can I have him institutionalized? WTF?

Live

call 911

hopeful4

Call 911, the police will do a well check on him. This does two things. One, shows that you are serious and that if he is making threats like this that you will simply call 911. Two, if he does need help he will get it.

I think changing your number is an EXCELLENT idea. I am sorry YG, I know it is all very traumatic.

Sungrl

Yep, 911. That will end it then and there.

Chances are he is not serious(I heard them as well) but of
course you can't take the chance he may be.

This needs to be dealt with by professionals. This may be a cry for help to set him on the right path, or terrible selfish manipulation. IMO it's the latter.

yumbby

I posted earlier, I have had problems like this with my mother and now my fiancé. I think they are right, just call 911 and be done with it. Call their bluff. And if its not a bluff, you still did the right thing. I'm sorry you are going thru this, I know how hard it is!

Yogagurl

I don't think for a moment that he is going to hurt himself because of his extremes in emotional outbursts - he goes from publicly blasting on social networks he is glad to be rid of me to threatening suicide. Just not the way I want to wake up on a Monday morning. That the hell, man.

suki44883

Always take suicide threats seriously, even if you don't think for a moment he'll do anything. Call 911 and let them deal with it. If he's not serious, then the hassle and inconvenience of having to deal with EMTs will stop him from pulling such a stupid stunt in the future. If it continues, then keep calling 911. Don't respond to him at all.

zoso77

Ugh.

This is the most sadistic form of manipulation of all time. Yet, it also needs to be taken seriously.

So, call 911. Then change your number.

Twofish

Hi YG,
I've had plenty of "threats to kill myself or end it all" phone calls from my daughter.
I take these calls seriously.
What I did was call and ask the police for a well check. A non confrontational visit, not a "grab her and take here to the hospital psych department". It not only made me feel at ease with her mental illnesses but she knew I took her seriously. Not a game. Not a bluff.
Crying "wolf" was not what she was doing, she was in crisis and did end up on a hold at the hospital and that woke her up to IOP and the road to recovery. She's sober now and doesn't throw out threats anymore.
Try the well check and see what he does next or if he is acutely ill, he will get the help he needs.
Hugs and wishing you the peace you deserve,
TF

AnvilheadII

as has been said above, always take a suicide threat seriously....and call 911. then change your number and go NO CONTACT. as someone so cleverly posts here - not my circus, not my monkey.

DJ0822

Hang in there, YG. I've been following your posts. I think you are strong and capable of getting through this! Many of us have been through this same stuff. We are walking alongside you!

Yogagurl

OK - I changed my number. He's out and about at work right now, so when he sent me the text this morning that he was going to "end my life in few minutes," he clearly was not. I know he did not attempt to kill himself and he is working right now. Will I get into some kind of legal trouble if I don't call the authorities about his text, even if I know it was a ploy to get me to call him?

I feel like I'm on the worst episode of a TV show ever right now.

Ann

If he's at work and in no danger, and since you changed your number, maybe just let it go but if it ever happens again, I would definitely call 911.

Threat of suicide is cruel and not your responsibility. Calling 911 is the only solution to taking care of the threat and maybe stopping the threat next time.

Hugs

zoso77

YG...you're not asking the correct question.

This is what we know. We know your husband is an addict. We know that he has now used his trump card, i.e. a suicide threat. We know that there is an extremely high probability that he's using this threat to manipulate you into doing what he wants.

What you want to do, even though he's likely attempting to manipulate you in the most sadistic fashion there is, is let the authorities know he's sick and has made this threat. Chances are if the police pay him a visit, he will deny that he's suicidal, even though you have texts that claim otherwise. Calling the authorities takes you out of the loop and short circuits your husband's efforts to play you. It becomes the authorities' problem, not yours.

Twofish

Lies, guilt and blame. Sounds like how my life was.
YOU get in trouble? I think he's the one who might be breaking the law by threatening to end your life.
Your number is changed now. Will he leave you alone?
Be strong, don't cave in and be his crutch.
He is nervous now, he realizes you're serious.
Go about your day, this new day! If he ever calls again (if he figures out your number) tell him nothing and hang up, if he threatens to kill you or himself...call 911.
This will be the hardest thing you've ever done, be strong and stick to your plan!
You've been generous, kind and there for him...time to be there for you!
Hugs
TF

Calmwater

I'm so sorry! That is a very cruel and manipulative thing to do to someone, but you are strong and you're doing the right things. Best of luck to you, glad your number is changed.

Yogagurl

It's sad. It's just so very sad. For so many years, I have watched who I am become more and more consumed with who he is. I've tried to fight his fights and win his battles. I've psychoanalyzed, diagnosed, and nearly prescribed him to use me as a way to make it through his addiction by using me as a stepping stone. Being stepped on is painful. I understand I was just as bad for him as he was for me, even though I thought at the time I was going to save him from himself.

I just want some peace, for goodness sake! I wake up at 5:30 AM, roll over, and see a suicide threat. It makes more mad than it makes me sorrowful, because I know he's DIGGING at ANYTHING he can to make me stick around, come pick him up, and carry him another four years.

I will have to call the police station when I leave the office today. This is too much for me to have to deal with at work....

Needabreak

Yogagurl,

Others have given you good advice. Turn off the phone. His drama does not have to be your drama.

You wrote earlier that you have left him in the past, and this type of behavior pulled you back in. You seem less focused than you did in the past few posts, like this has really thrown you for a loop.

Let me say again, his threats are not your problem. Don't let him make them your problem. Call 911 and then turn off your phone. That's the only obligation you have here.

He would love for you to come back and carry him for another four years. Whether you do so or not is really up to you.

February13

Calling 911 once freed me from Suicide threats! I do not get them at all anymore since I made the call. I am still in contact with my addict ex as we have a child and I believe it's good for her to still see him (though she is never alone with him). No more suicide threats made my life a lot better.
I even told the cops he was a drug addict and was terrified he would be arrested and charged with having lots of drugs (he usually buys for at least a week at the time) but the cops said that they went to him to make sure he was all right and they didn't even look for drugs. I am in Vancouver BC, other places might not only focus on the safety of the person threatening to end their life.

Txhelp

My children did this several times. My daughter attempted a few times. Desperation and/or impulsive behaviors were often the motivators. I got to a point that I always diAled 911. I would ask then "you are sick....you refuse help. What do you want ME to do?" After several times during the event I was numb and sometimes angry. I cannot believed we survived that nightmare.