Karrets

Hi everyone
First of all I owe some of you an apology at one point on here I felt attacked but it was my denial that I could have a functional relationship with my heroin addicted husband. 3 days ago I threw him out. I could do it no more I realised with the help of a friend dating the right thing at the right time that not only was I living a half life but that I was in a emotionally abusive relationship. I had never thought of it like that and it woke me up. The guilt he used to make me feel was unbearable. I still love him even though he has said some horrible things and yet again laying all the blame on me. I refuse to be responsible for him any more.
I have organised counselling and started going to coda meetings
Thank you for the people who didn't allow me to keep being blinkers and for saying the truth of what I was going through.
Hopeful4 anvilhead and lilly especially oh and grandma. You know who you are of I have spelt it right.
Also the people in the chat rooms I think I would have cracked up if I hadn't had that support.
so now I focus on me.........wow that's tough. and of course my daughter.

Vale

You don't owe ANYONE an apology. We learn at different rates but the only thing
that matters here is we ALL know where you are coming from....how much it hurts,
and the only actions that have any hope of making it NOT hurt forever.

Everyone wakes up. The trick is not to keep hitting the snooze button.....
only to find that thirty years have passed.

Ann

This is a powerful start to reclaiming your life, well done.

Nobody came into recovery kicking and screaming with heels dug in deeper than me. I asked questions and then didn't listen to the answers, feeling that nobody understood that my son wasn't like "those people" and I didn't have a problem, he did. So no apologies, it's why we are here, to help people like you and like me when we are ready to grab the brass ring of recovery.

Hugs

hopeful4

O sweetie, I am so sorry to hear this. It will be hard, but you are doing the right thing. You need peace, serenity, and happiness in your life for you and your DD!

Tight, tight hugs!

XXX

zoso77

Karrets...

No apologies.

Everyone here on the board, in one fashion or another, has been duped by an addict. It happens every day, will happen tomorrow, the next day, and always. When we love someone, we tend to give them a long leash and the benefit of the doubt. That's part of being human.

Remember: always allow your brain to know what it knows.

Good luck.

LobstahKiller

"Remember: always allow your brain to know what it knows."


Brilliant. SO, so true.

We've all been there, hitting the snooze button. You've woken up. Don't take that for granted. Do everything you can to take care of yourself.

Congratulations on throwing him out.

jadealexander

I'm finally there as well. And not only did I feel attacked from people who didn't know me but especially my friends. Now his family is verbally attacking me blaming me for his use. When he was using before I even met him. It's a great feeling know that I've come back to reality. Thought I still have unrealistic thoughts of a future every so often. You must feel so proud not only for yourself but your daughter now you can show her what true strength looks like. Stay strong.

Karrets

Jade... It's comforting and upsetting that you are going through this too. He actually said to me that I have taken from him far more than his addiction ever will... If that isn't pure blown denial I don't know what is. The thing is we protect them too much I'm still doing it now a little and that's from fear.... 3 years I allowed this man to control me when all along I thought I was controlling him. I can now see the truth again and build myself back up to the woman he fell in love with and nearly destroyed. I think of him.. I'm tempted to call him... The only problem is if I do that he will try and manipulate me again but the fog and cleared. He would want me to pity him he would want me to feel guilty all those emotions that kept me with him I felt were mine, weren't they were what he planned and planted in my head from day one. They are not the friends you need and I dare say not true friends of they haven't seen your suffering and how you would have changed as a result of living that hell. Keep going I am pm me any time you wobble and I'll remind you of the madness