LoveMeNow

Well, I finally did! I moved back "home" and just for today....I am so happy, happier then I have been in a long, long time.

It was this time last year that I was contemplating it but my fears kept me stuck. Well, it wasn't just fear. I was still "hoping" that someone else (my STBXAH) would change to be what I wanted, what I thought I needed and what I thought should be my present and future. It simply wasn't meant to be. I fought my reality, I fought my present and I fought my future. I gave it a good fight and all I had and today I wonder why!

Although, I was told over and over, my happiness would be found from within, I still struggled to believe it. I struggled to surrender and I struggled with believing in myself. Today, that has changed.

Tonight will be my first night alone here and as I stare out over the ocean and beautiful sky, I feel at peace. I feel happy and I feel content.

Thank you for all those who helped me in this journey. And for those who are still struggling with letting go, my advice is to keep working on you. You are so worth it! There is a big beautiful world out there waiting for all of us to embrace.

Addiction took so much from me but it also gave me a chance to learn so much. I am forever grateful to so many who didn't give up on me and continued to show me the way....to happiness. I am finally here!!

Chino

The beauty you see is a reflection of the beauty in you

LoveMeNow

Aw, thank you Chino.

Update: my new neighbor came by and asked me to go out for a drink with her and some of her friends. I am now living in a vacation area and this is big weekend with lots of great brands. Anyway, I said yes!! Go me, lol!!

chicory

So happy for you , LoveMeNow! have a wonderful time, and just enjoy your beautiful life.

hugs

Ann

I am so glad you are all moved and settled. It's been a long journey, LMN, to get from where you were to where you are now...but you are wiser and stronger and more courageous for the effort it took.

And really...a place overlooking the ocean? Life doesn't get better than that!!

New beginnings await you and I do believe you are ready.

Hugs

Vale

(Unlike all of these OTHER jerkweeds.......I knew she'd make it from the
start! Never a doubt in my mind.)

Vale
(Shameless self promoter.....but honestly----who ELSE is 'gonna advocate for
a mouthy duck?)

I'm glad you have found happiness, LMN. This 'addiction' been a long and painful journey
for all of us. It is time for all of us to enjoy this last day of August---with the door into
Autumn (Labor Day) but a sunset away.

Be happy, LMN....you damned well bloody EARNED it.

Ann

Did Vale just call me a jerkweed?

*runs to fetch her ducktape*

AnvilheadII

and we ARE all invited to the housewarming, RIGHT??? even the jerkweeds?

Katiekate

What an awesome read! Enjoy!

Ann

I baked cookies but don't mistake me for Paula Deen because I'm not spending one more minute in the kitchen.





Did he really call me a jerkweed? And look who snuck in the back door? Didn't think we'd notice didja Vale?

.

Twofish

Dear LMN,
I'm so happy for you, you found that peace.
I can almost see the ocean and the beautiful sunset!
Enjoy your new home!
TF

Vale

So the lampshade didn't fool 'ya, huh?

Yeah, yeah.......as LMN enjoys her beach existence, Pina Colada in hand
(no doubt)....Vales permanent avatar becomes....the taped duck.

(see left)

Ann's threats are NOT to be trifled with.....but once again----she forgot to
tape the annoying aquatic fowl's mouth shut!!!

Vale MEANT to say "present company excepted" when the 'jerkweed' comment
flew from his bill!

Is Vale clever or WHAT!? (is a ducks a** watertight?!)

Now all Vale needs is a fresh codependent.....someone to feed him, cover up his
mistakes for him, and in general take the load of life off his narrow duck shoulders.
Somewhere near the water would be preferable..........

---near the beach would be best

Anybody in mind?

(let's see if LMN can take a hint!)

cynical one

LoveMeNow

Funny, funny people.

Sorry Vale, this codie is burnt out. I have hung up my "fix em" shingle and replaced it with a "gone fishing" one.

House warming? Oh absolutely!! I will let you know where I registered. Lol. Just kidding.

Ann, I may be moved but I am far from settled. My things are every where, lol. Oh well, it can wait but living life can't. I am choosing the latter.

I had another great day. I just got home from a fantastic dinner too. Veal and eggplant parm. It was soooo good too. Good food, good company, and many laughs. Life is good!!

Vale

I will take it under advisement.

Ann

^^^



LMN, I just want to say one more time how proud I am of you. It was one heck of a rough ride but you strapped yourself in and landed safely.

Sounds like it didn't take long to start enjoying your new life...at least not long once you "arrived".

Hugs

LoveMeNow

Thank you Ann. I could not have done it without you.

P.S. I am waiting for you to come visit so you can help get unpacked and organized. I know you how much you love to it.

Ann

I'd have it done before noon...leaving lots of beach time before we took in some fine dining.

LoveMeNow

You know what? I hadn't even realized this until tonight but I finally understand what it means to detach with love.

Tonight, I was asked about my STBXH. I know I didn't have to answer and thought about if I wanted to or not. Then I heard myself say with a smile on my face and peace in my heart "I still love him very much and I am sure I always will. He is a great man with a terrible problem. And I just couldn't live with it any longer."

I was asked if I was angry at him and I said "No, I am not any more. Anger would only hurt me and wouldn't change a thing." I then changed the subject to something like "Can you please pass the bread?" Lol

After, I received warm smiles, words of praise and a wonderful toast. Sometimes, I still wonder how I got here but I really try not to. I try to just stay grateful that I am.

If I can get here, I promise - you can too. It's really does get better.

LoveMeNow

I know which is why I am sending my private jet to pick you up.

I got a new pilot too and he reminds me of someone.....fingers tapping....
Oh, it's Vale!! I know how comfortable that should make you feel.