Blogs


Notices

Wishing Twofish and her daughter a happy sendoff!

Old 08-26-2014, 11:30 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
cleaninLI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Oh twofish the wedding must have been lovely. So happy for her.....but sorry about the ultrasound. When I was pregnant with my son....I was told he might have Down syndrome. They advised me to take the amnio test.....I did not. I had heard that the test could cause a miscarriage and I had waited 12 years to conceive again. I wasn't going to risk it! I just prayed that he would be born healthy and he was!

I am praying for your daughter twofish. I do not think she could handle something like that....and like you said God does not give us more than we can handle.

She has been thru far too much already!
cleaninLI is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to cleaninLI For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-27-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-27-2014), Vale (08-27-2014)
Old 08-26-2014, 11:38 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
allforcnm's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Hi Twofish... it sounds like a beautiful and romantic wedding. I bet she looked gorgeous as she should on her big day. How wonderful she was able to use your veil. Sounds like it brought back good memories for you too..

Im sorry she got the news about the baby, but hopefully.. most likely the tech is right and it will be gone on the next checkup, and all will be well. But I understand she must be so scared and overwhelmed right now.

My prayers are being sent out to all of you, and I will also ask for this young family to be put on our church prayer list.. power in numbers I hope.
allforcnm is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to allforcnm For This Useful Post:
cleaninLI (08-27-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-27-2014), Vale (08-27-2014)
Old 08-27-2014, 01:51 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
Soooooo happy about the happy day.
About the baby (and just my personal opinion)
These people are pro's. They know what they
are doing. If they SAY it is common and it is
common for it to disappear----then that IS
the case. We bring nothing to the table with
open ended 'catastrophizing'.
We are here for you Twofish, through every
eventuality. As far as your daughter collapsing
into self-accusatory blaming......sorry. Tell her it
just does not fit with science. A whole bunch of
things have to go right for a healthy baby to be
born . Can drugs interfere with that? I'm not a
medical professional so I cannot venture a
educated opinion. But to pin any eventuality on
the abuse thereof (definitively ) is just plain
wrong.
Some d*ckhead long ago sued because
somebody did not tell them some little piece
of data------so now they have to terrify
EVERY expectant mother with this useless
data.....to safeguard themselves.
Vale is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-27-2014), cleaninLI (08-27-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-27-2014)
Old 08-27-2014, 01:56 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
The sonogram tech was trying to reassure her that she sees this all the time and they always go away
===============
THAT is the data........"always go away"
That is the ONLY data.
Period.
End of statement.
Vale is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-27-2014), cleaninLI (08-27-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-27-2014)
Old 08-27-2014, 04:44 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Twofish, I am not for internet medical evaluation, but there is lots of information out there that can help. I just googled "unltrasound showed cyst on baby's brain" and up popped a lot of positive outcomes for this. This is just one site...take a read...and let your daughter read up on this and relax too...this happens a lot around 20 weeks. She will be okay and so will the baby.

I am just shy of 20 weeks pregnant and my ultrasound showed a cyst on the babies brain | BabyCenter
Ann is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
chicory (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-27-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-27-2014)
Old 08-27-2014, 03:19 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Hi SR,
It's been a long, long day. "I" am doing much better. Thank you for all the support. I'm just not gonna let this get me down. I'm gonna focus on the weeks beautiful ceremony, the sonogram of a beautiful growing child and rejoice in my RAD sobriety. Give her all the support this mom can give her, but its all up to her!! Can only go forward, I can't go back, as all you mommas know, the pain is way too much to keep repeating.
I need a rocking chair so badly!
TF
Twofish is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Twofish For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-27-2014), GardenMama (08-28-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Lovenjoy (08-27-2014), Vale (08-27-2014)
Old 08-27-2014, 06:54 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
All right, all right....twist my arm.....here's the damned rocking chair back!

(Twofish wasn't 'gonna let it drop so the better part of valor......is a tactical retreat)

Rock away. Hope you're happy. Vale will do what he can, in his later years, summers end,
sans rocking chair-----as the sun approaches the western horizon....no chair.....

'sniff...sniff...sniff'

(professional attempt at tear jerking...
.........is it working?)

Vale
(sans rocking chair)
Vale is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), chicory (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-27-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-28-2014)
Old 08-27-2014, 06:56 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
(armored duck oscillating in a rocking chair.......we really DO
navigate the edges of sanity around here, don't we?)
Vale is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), chicory (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-27-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-28-2014)
Old 08-27-2014, 07:51 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
cleaninLI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Your daughter has been on a maintenance med under the care of a physician. She was not in active addiction shooting H and/or popping pills running around in shady places trying to get her fix.....not eating properly...neglecting her health. So chances are the baby will be born healthy. Many many women give birth to healthy babies on subutex.
As long as she follows the doctors orders about doses....does not try to come off it without the doctors knowledge or being closely monitored she will give her baby the best chance of being born healthy.

More prayers going up.
cleaninLI is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to cleaninLI For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), chicory (08-28-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Stung (08-28-2014), Twofish (08-28-2014)
Old 08-28-2014, 01:38 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear SR,
Oh my dear Vale, who is not quite elderly, thank you for the chair back, at least for now, to rock on, and leave some stress behind me, rock it right into a safe place to hibernate.. . The beast has fallen asleep, for now, so this gives me time to find Ann to help me duck tape the sorrow and the what iffing I tend to do so often, right off my shoulders and onto a toilet. Oh to have the patent on that duck tape!
We are home now, back in WI. It's cooler here, fall is approaching us, and the chill hits my bones. I'm ready this time, I'm preparing for all good and bad. I've been thinking...
My daughter sees the therapist tomorrow, they can talk and work on a plan. Thinking about this past year...CleaninLI, you are so right and reassuring, I thank you for that. This obsessive worrying, I tend to do, stays in check by my SR family. Your words about my daughter, whom you have gotten to know like she is your own, have started to ground me. To comfort me. You're so right, Subutex is a drug that I'm not too knowledgeable about and this scares me. But you have been there, like the others, on my train ride, sitting right next to me, explaining to me what i cannot understand. She worked so hard to get off the street drug opiate heyday, tried the Methadone program and finally chose the Suboxone program. I had never heard of such meds for addiction nor understood them. SR stepped in to educate me, explain why it's needed and to keep "ME" in check and as healthy mentally and physically as I can be or is possible! And, it IS possible.
Illegal/legal drugs were stopped a year ago. Thanks to Suboxone, F2F support, meetings and a huge amount of honesty, hope and joy. We maintained hope, sweet hope.
A RA has just, if not more experience and recommendations, than a medical doctor can give you. Sure a MD has gone to school, read about addiction, witnessed what has worked or not worked clinically, sometimes, but, if he hasn't gone thru it, been there, done that, isn't he just kinda guesstimating what to do, respond to and say? Isn't it true, dear SR, it's the "addict" who has been there, done that, won the prize or taken the fall, know what they are talking about, with the bonus of confidence?
When CleaninLI said the unborn can be born healthy on Subutex and when she follows her care plan, is more assuring to me than what some MD saying "it should be ok I think".
This is why I believe "our"SR family works together so well. There's so many levels of addiction and recovery. Our experts are the addicts/recovering addicts themselves, they come to SR, most are so honest. We help each other, like for instance, I DON'T know what W/Ds feel like or to feel ashamed of lying or stealing from me or the nagging lost years more and more addicts experience. What RLS feels like or the sunburn skin feelings when it's -20 out.
Or how us mommas feel. You ARE our children, we love you so much and can't understand why you would steal and lie to me, manipulate and deceive me. Why we "tough/soft" love you. We finally figured it out, we cannot fix you.
But now we can understand a little bit more. Both sides of the addiction coin, face up, in brutal honesty. Sure it hurt, it still and always will hurt. But, now some answers have emerged.
We see this is a disease. It's selfish, punishes and inflicts it's victims into severe pain and denial, doing actions that normally would never happen. What mommas, dads and addicts, recovering or using have now are those tools, our ammunition when the beast awakens, and he in most cases is just napping, he will awaken and torture both the addict and the one who loves an addict.
Does torment, agony, suffering, anguish, pain trauma/drama, heartache and loss sound and feel familuar?
How does supportive, accepting, survivable, gratifying, livable/bearable, tolerance, understanding and acceptance sound?
We can meet in the middle with tools and tons of hard work on all parties involved, we do have choices and we have consequences. We can see, by sharing with each other, that tiny flicker of light, that hope for sobriety, as it awaits us at the end of the tunnel.
We are not strong enough to do this on our own...just think what could/can happen when we reach out for that lifeline...called support.
Keep reading, have your plan and keep your hope alive.
Now, Vale, Ann, Clean and the others, "just duck tape my mouth"...says the AV in protest!
Bless our SR family.
TF
Twofish is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Twofish For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), GardenMama (08-28-2014), Impurrfect (08-28-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Lovenjoy (08-28-2014), Vale (08-28-2014)
Old 08-28-2014, 02:21 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
allforcnm's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Happy to hear you made it home safely TF. I would try not to worry too much about the subs... they have been around a while too.. and I think probably many a baby has been born healthy and happy with a mom who is using this medication. Keep the faith Twofish...
allforcnm is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to allforcnm For This Useful Post:
cleaninLI (08-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-28-2014)
Old 08-28-2014, 02:47 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
No mouth duct tape necessary, Twofish.

That was perfect, every last word.

We understand..we grieve...and we hope, every single one of us.

That we do it together....makes it bearable.
Peace be with you my friend.
Vale is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-28-2014)
Old 08-28-2014, 05:45 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Twofish, this will be a beautiful healthy baby, just you wait and see.

I brought a new chair for Vale, it doesn't rock and will hold him in one place...lord knows he will be pacing like a crazy duck without something to centre him (and yes, I spelled centre correctly...the Queen's English is used here in Canuckland (where there is an abundance of ducks).



.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg
duckk.jpg (5.9 KB, 69 views)
Ann is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
chicory (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-28-2014), Vale (08-28-2014)
Old 08-28-2014, 09:43 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Good mornign SR,
I believe and have hope the baby "is" gonna be just fine and normal, whatever normal means. And if there is a problem (there I go iffing again), the love and support will always be there. The baby, no matter what, will be accepted into the family, loved and wanted.
Am I starting to sound like a Codie again? Am I a prime example of a Codie?
I think I will leave this all alone now. No more worrying over something that isn't there. My RAD should stop this too. I do believe that the baby can sence fright and guilt and perhaps rejection?
So I'm gonna work on myself again today. I'm driving my daughter to her therapy appt, drop her off and head over to my own moms house. We will watch the wedding tape and start talking about how life threw us a curve ball, but that curve has started to straighten out a bit now, and I hope that will give a SR member and friends some positive hope and outlook on addiction. I think, deep down in my heart, that my story of my daughter(s), will somehow help another momma, who is worrying and what iffing and just lost. Let RADs story reassure you that not all SR recovery stories are sad and dismal, we do have positive and happy recovering children too! Can someone smile or hug the frightened and sad mommas?
At my moms, I won't mention the cyst, there's no reason to worry her and have her say things like "I told you so". I don't need that kind of worrysome, negative talk and she doesn't mean to hurt me so badly, it's just something she does.
Question to you...should I even mention the cysts which ALWAYS leads to a heroin discussion that leads to her thinking my daughter is "entitled"? My moms thinking is that of the 1950-60ish, of a dark back room, where kids are shooting up heroin and smoking pot and planning their next pharmacy robbery. My mom should do herself a favor and join a recovery group. Is it that common for people to NOT let drug abuse issues go? To keep dwelling on it and not to forgive? I'm not expecting special treatment, but if my RADs were to be a diabetic, mom would dwell on the blood sugars or her eating habits or to find a reason to "blame" the disease on. She's not perfect and she's getting old. What would you do? I don't want to hurt her, she IS my mom after all.
And if anyone is questioning me on why I'm driving my RAD to her Suboxone appt, it's bc it's my car and I want to visit with my mom and dad. A nice visit, a healthy visit.
So I'm off to get ready. I also have to stock up on some duck tape. You know.... someone should start a thread on useful reasons to use duck tape.....
TF
Twofish is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Twofish For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), Fandy (08-30-2014), Vale (08-28-2014)
Old 08-28-2014, 01:56 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by Ann View Post
Twofish, this will be a beautiful healthy baby, just you wait and see.

I brought a new chair for Vale, it doesn't rock and will hold him in one place...lord knows he will be pacing like a crazy duck without something to centre him (and yes, I spelled centre correctly...the Queen's English is used here in Canuckland (where there is an abundance of ducks).



.
Not an abundance of ducks like ME.
(God save the Queen!)
Vale is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-28-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-29-2014)
Old 08-29-2014, 05:12 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
Twofish, it's what some Mom's do....addiction or not.

It's called the game of "Gotcha".......and it is a boring game.
Don't tell your Mom much......if it will only be loaded into a weapon
to aim at you.

It just isn't worth it.
Vale is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-29-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-29-2014)
Old 08-29-2014, 05:26 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You know.... someone should start a thread on useful reasons to use duck tape.....
Hmmmm, don't tempt me...maybe? nahh!
Ann is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
cleaninLI (08-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-29-2014)
Old 08-29-2014, 01:14 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Vale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,279
(Vale can take a hint!)
Vale is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vale For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-29-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Twofish (08-29-2014)
Old 08-29-2014, 08:02 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Today was good, today was what sobriety is all about. My daughter felt her baby move for the first time and she was thrilled...I was thrilled that she experienced it sober.
TF
Twofish is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Twofish For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-30-2014), Chino (08-29-2014), cleaninLI (08-29-2014), GardenMama (08-30-2014), hopeful4 (09-29-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Lovenjoy (08-29-2014), Muunray (08-29-2014), Vale (08-30-2014)
Old 08-29-2014, 08:53 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Member
 
cleaninLI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Oh twofish what a beautiful moment! Thank you....now I can go to bed with a smile on my face!
cleaninLI is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to cleaninLI For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-30-2014), irisgardens (09-30-2014), Vale (08-30-2014)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:47 PM.