I made it through Monday... Well, after a very tough weekend that included heartbreak, overwhelming sadness and a lot of tears over the end of my relationship with my recovering addict that I reconnected and fell in love with after 17 yrs apart....I made it through Monday. Surprisingly I made it through a lot better than I expected😊. I made my first therapy appt to work on my co-depency issues and I'm getting ready to go to a Nar-Anon meeting. Originally I attended bc of wanting to support him in his recovery effort, but this evening I will be attending with the mindset of wanting to support myself. As I myself have been lucky enough to never be a prisoner of the disease of addiction, I'm still struggling with understanding what the first year of recovery is like so that I can understand why he ended things between us; especially being that I live in NC and he in Boston. I do know that these are answers I might not ever get and I have resigned myself to the fact that I will probably never see or hear from him again in this lifetime. All I can do now is try my best to work on myself, enjoy my job, enjoy being a single mother and find peace and serenity inside myself. So I made it through Monday....this is truly one day, one hour one minute at a time. Thank you to all those who reached out and shared their experiences with me here. I will keep coming back here as it has helped me immensely. :thanks:tyou |
Believe it or not, you're going to be OK. It may take a while. But you'll come to a place where you appreciate that the pain of not having him in your life is preferable to dealing with his addictions while he's in your life. Trust me on this... |
What's weird Zoso77- is how ok I actually am doing. Last year this time I would not have been able to handle this and would have wallowed and sunk into a deep depression. I'm not sure what inside of me has changed but I'm so relieved it has. I think 5 months of Nar-Anon has helped, I think it was the fact that the recovering addict in this case was honest throughout and demonstrated self-care which I'm now also starting to implement. I dunno....I expected to be far more upset than I am right now. It's kinda freaking me out a little.... |
I'm so proud of you! I know we have talked a little bit on here and I just want you to know I'm happy for you that right now in this moment you are okay. This is all something I should really be doing for myself (getting back into therapy and get to a naranon meeting) but a lot of the time I notice that I don't even have the energy to want to even talk to anyone. Or sometimes I'll be feeling sad and think "hmmm well maybe I can post something on SR" and I'll go to start a post and then not even want to bother anymore -___- well enough about me, happy for you & keep it up! |
Knowing that I had to get back in the routine of work and truly be present helped(I was so emotionally distraught on Friday, I had to leave work issues. Luckily everyone there thought it was bc of chronic pain issues I'm having with my neck and shoulder) - I had to be on my "A" game so to speak today and we were busy so I had little down time to dwell in my head which was such a blessing. It helped starting the day that way and keeping that tone going. Weekends when I have down time will be far harder. I try to make myself fill any empty space and time right now outside of work at an Al-Anon or Nar- Anon meeting or with my daughter. I force myself to put on a good face so to speak around her bc I would feel terrible if my choices affected her negatively. But today was just one day....hopefully I can continue in this direction. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad:-( I understand. Try just doing one small thing each day, eventually you will build up to 2 small things. Being locked in your head and heart is something I know all too well. I wish you the best and sending good vibes your way TimeHeals😊 |
You are doing a lot of good things for yourself, smc, and that is key. It looks like good times ahead for you and your daughter.:) you can always come here and talk when it gets a bit rocky...even a little time spent with others who understand can make all the difference in your day. good going. |
Originally Posted by smc92va
(Post 4847791)
What's weird Zoso77- is how ok I actually am doing. Last year this time I would not have been able to handle this and would have wallowed and sunk into a deep depression. I'm not sure what inside of me has changed but I'm so relieved it has. I think 5 months of Nar-Anon has helped, I think it was the fact that the recovering addict in this case was honest throughout and demonstrated self-care which I'm now also starting to implement. I dunno....I expected to be far more upset than I am right now. It's kinda freaking me out a little.... When things ended with my AXGF, in hindsight, I got back on the horse very quickly. So good for you. Just keep pushing forward every day. |
Good for you! It sounds like you are taking really positive steps FOR YOURSELF! That's where the healing comes in. XXX |
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