Are addicts/recovering addicts always unlovable
gluelicker.
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 22
Perfect, Anvil!
The version of love they can give, and if it is good enough is up to you to decide.
Don't hold on to a finger and hope it will materialize into a whole person. People in love with addicts and people in recovery can become sick themselves. I know I did. Far worse than I ever realized in my mothers alcoholism. Until the day she died I would hope she would call me and tell me she wanted to live.
The version of love they can give, and if it is good enough is up to you to decide.
Don't hold on to a finger and hope it will materialize into a whole person. People in love with addicts and people in recovery can become sick themselves. I know I did. Far worse than I ever realized in my mothers alcoholism. Until the day she died I would hope she would call me and tell me she wanted to live.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 24
Smc92va, you took the words right out of my mouth for the most part. Only difference is my girlfriend is here. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that he's in a different state so that you can focus on you and he can focus on himself (which are the hardest words to hear) but I'm a big believer in time healing all wounds, and right now you just have to give yourself, your feelings and him time. I have no doubt in my mind that he loved you, he probably just doesn't know what to do with everything that's being thrown at him currently
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Are addicts/recovering addicts always unlovable
I'm of the opinion that someone in active addiction is unable to absorb love from others. And what I mean by that is you can love them all you want and it doesn't make a bit of difference to them. The best way to prove this to yourself is to read the posts of mothers of addicted children.
As for someone in "recovery", that depends on the person and it depends on the recovery. There are some out there that may be abstained from using but aren't in recovery and will act as dysfunctionally as they ever did. There are also some out there that are deadly serious about their recovery, especially in the early days, and they don't want to get involved with anyone in a romantic level.
Love does not conquer addiction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 215
I can not say thank you enough to all of you here on SR. I don't think I could have made it through the weekend, and to the point that I now see that this addict in recovery really gave me a tremendous gift and a platform to begin some much needed work on myself - both mentally and spiritually.
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