kkallday21

I have to admit this and talk about my feelings, so I can continue to recover and heal… My ex hasn’t contacted me in 1 week and although my life has been peaceful and I am totally ok, I also have feelings of loneliness and am kind of wondering why all of a sudden he went from calling, texting, mailing letters to NC with me.. I know it’s sick thinking, but it’s definitely there and I need to be honest about it… My thinking goes from “well maybe he found someone else” to “better her then you”… ugh.. I guess I’m just dreading when the time does come and he has moved on.. How has everyone dealt with this? I mean I don’t even want him, but yet don’t want anyone else to have him ugh!!!!!!! Like how sick am I ????  I have 22 days NC and my life really has been ok for the most part besides some down moments when I would hear from him and feel bad about not responding, but now that I am not hearing from him I’m like WTF has he moved on? Is he doing well with someone else? Crazy thinking and I know all the answers, I just need my SR friends to beat this into my brain again 

Txhelp

I think it's perfectly normal to go through a detaching process, from someone you love. It's not like we are robots and can cut someone off automatically-something reminds us of them and we SEEM like we are back to where we started. Typically, we aren't....we go back but don't stay stuck (that's the key).

It's great that you see yourself as doing well overall. Time will help you to heal. You can't predict your future much less his.

When my husband divorced me, after 25 years, I had all of these fears and notions of what my life would look like. God laughs! My fears didn't come true. In fact, things popped up that I NEVER would have predicted!

Stay strong, safe, and healthy. That's the key for happiness.

kkallday21

You are right Txhelp! I have a quote right in front of me staring me in the face "Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace...

Vale

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THAT is a keeper!

Ann

Yes, I am keeping that saying too. It's natural to experience mixed feelings right now, and it's okay to think about things. Just don't hang out there too long, it's a dead end road that leads nowhere.

Embrace new beginnings and wonderful days that will come, now that you no longer live in the darkness of addiction.

Hugs

zoso77

My AXGF hooked up with someone in the Fellowship. The dude 13th Stepped with someone who, at that time, only had 10 months of not using. So, I looked at it two ways.

The first way was this guy deserves whatever he's got coming to him.

The second way was thank God it's him and not me.

I refuse to have my life and my well being compromised by the presence of a sick person. And when she left, it was the best thing that ever could have happened to me.

chicory

kkallday,
I know that feeling.... you end it, they seem ok with it, then it feels like rejection..ugh. no one likes that feeling. But that is not the reality of it-you are taking care of yourself. You care about this person, so it's bound to hurt, and when they seem to be moving on and all, and not grieving as you are, that hurts.

I would feel that way sometimes . I had a few unhealthy relationships that I had to end. And when it seemed they did not care, (which we really don't know, just from outward actions), it didn't feel good.

But I figured it this way- If he came back, asking to get together again, would I want that? And because the answer was no, I realized that it did not matter what he was thinking and doing, because he was not the one for me anyway.

Be strong.. this will pass, and you will be happy that you loved yourself enough to refuse to be in an unhealthy relationship.