njw1968

My son is coming home tomorrow from Rehab. Says he's done but I think it's because he's in drug court. Afraid of getting on the Crazy Train again. Single mom. Can't keep him in at night. I'm hoping with school starting in two days and all of the counseling required thru drug court that he will stay on track. Trying to also get him back into guitar and working out. Prayers are appreciated. Thanks

scaredsister92

You are in my prayers!

Remember: YOU deserve to be happy and safe even if he chooses not to be. However I don't know much at all about drug court or anything so keep that in mind when reading this

Set boundaries. What are you going to tolerate and not tolerate in your house? What are the sanctions? If you want him in at night that should be a condition of living in your house and failure to abide by that should be a punishable offence.

Good luck, I'm sure this must be a really nerve-wracking time but look after yourself.

Ann

I agree, if it would make you more comfortable curfew might be a condition of his remaining at home.

I'm not sure of his age but my son was in his 30's and I still had a curfew when he chose to live at home...the consequence for being late was his bags on the porch ready for him to live anywhere else.

If your son is too young to ask to leave, then taking away his computer privileges might be an appropriate consequence. If he needs it for school then he can use it in clear view, maybe the kitchen table, to do his school assignments...then off.

These are just suggestions but my point is that we are the adults and this is our home...we get to set the boundaries, rules and consequences for breaking either.

My heart goes out to you, and prayers out for both of you. It isn't easy being the mother of an addict.

Hugs

chicory

How are you , njw? Thinking of you and hoping all is going reasonably smooth for you and your son. Its gotta be tough. Hope you are doing something for you, to help with the anxiety of it all.

oceanlady1958

when my son was that age i had trouble setting boundaries. i set them but never adheared at that age to them and he knew it. i would stand in front of the door and he would push me aside. had i known what i known now from the words of wisdom from SR my son's life and mine would be different. listen to every word here with confidence, they have all been there. as for myself, i am learning form everyone here to put myself first. maybe you can nip his behavior while he is still young enough to turn it around. the only peace i get is when he is in jail, sad but true. having addicts home is a horrible way to exist, watching every move, the lack of trust- its like walking on a cliff waiting to fall over.

oceanlady1958

i will keep you and all the other parents who struggle in my prayers

bellanoviella

I'm assuming he will be drug tested frequently with being on drug court, which will help him stay clean. When my ex was on drug court, he lived in a recovery house, and they did test them often.. Unfortunately, when he got off drug court, moved out of the recovery house, and had "freedom" again.. he relapsed. If your son focuses on his recovery and learns to love his new clean lifestyle, then it won't matter, he can stay clean no matter what.

Is a recovery house an option for him? It may be something extra that can help him stay on track.

Thinking of you, hoping for the best

zoso77

Here's a suggestion. Buy him a copy of Duff McKagan's book, It's So Easy (And Other Lies). He's the former bassist from Guns 'N Roses, and he talks about how working out was integral to his recovery from drug and alcohol abuse. Hopefully, if your son reads it, it will inspire him to play and to work on his body.

njw1968

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Trying to attend yoga and Nar anon meetings. Thanks for asking. Not sure he's going to make it thru this drug court.

njw1968

Thank you. I'm trying to be less of an enabler. Trying to be stronger. So hard.

njw1968

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He will be 18 next month. I pray I won't have to send him to one.