panf of anxiety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
panf of anxiety
Whopsi...title was suppose to be "PANG" of anxiety...not panf! lol
I haven't talked to me x in almost 2 weeks, but supposedly he is coming in town for a "long weekend" this weekend. Now, of course this "vacation" was announced casually in a sentence. No REAL dates were mentioned. Who knows when he is really coming...because he hasn't told me, nor do I really want to know. If I know, I have to be available (or do I?).
So, I am tired. And, when I get tired I get anxious. I just had a pang of anxiety thinking...ugh he is coming this weekend. Or is he?
I am going to take it day by day, and trust my instinct. I don't want to see, nor do I think it is in the best interest of my son. What to do, what to do?
I know..go camping!
It will kind of urk me if he is coming in this weekend, but has yet to call and make plans. you know, be responsible and respectful to someone you haven't seen in over a year and half. But, what do I expect from someone who hasn't even explained his disappearance.
The real reason he is coming is for sex and drugs. He is coming to see his girlfriend and do drugs. (meanwhile he owes me thousands, but can take a long weekend vaca, but what else do I expect?) My hope is that it has been too long since he has had his drugs and we won't see him. Please lord, let him leave us be!
I keep reminding myself it is my choice. I don't want to deal with his anger, but I'm sick of his BS. I don't want it in my life. After everything he has done, what do I really owe him? Especially when he hasn't owned up to anything. I'm tired of trying to be fair to someone so selfish pretending nothing ever happened.
Tine to get a good night sleep and sleep away my anxiety. Let it go and take care of me and my son.
I haven't talked to me x in almost 2 weeks, but supposedly he is coming in town for a "long weekend" this weekend. Now, of course this "vacation" was announced casually in a sentence. No REAL dates were mentioned. Who knows when he is really coming...because he hasn't told me, nor do I really want to know. If I know, I have to be available (or do I?).
So, I am tired. And, when I get tired I get anxious. I just had a pang of anxiety thinking...ugh he is coming this weekend. Or is he?
I am going to take it day by day, and trust my instinct. I don't want to see, nor do I think it is in the best interest of my son. What to do, what to do?
I know..go camping!
It will kind of urk me if he is coming in this weekend, but has yet to call and make plans. you know, be responsible and respectful to someone you haven't seen in over a year and half. But, what do I expect from someone who hasn't even explained his disappearance.
The real reason he is coming is for sex and drugs. He is coming to see his girlfriend and do drugs. (meanwhile he owes me thousands, but can take a long weekend vaca, but what else do I expect?) My hope is that it has been too long since he has had his drugs and we won't see him. Please lord, let him leave us be!
I keep reminding myself it is my choice. I don't want to deal with his anger, but I'm sick of his BS. I don't want it in my life. After everything he has done, what do I really owe him? Especially when he hasn't owned up to anything. I'm tired of trying to be fair to someone so selfish pretending nothing ever happened.
Tine to get a good night sleep and sleep away my anxiety. Let it go and take care of me and my son.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I'm about to be quite blunt. You've been warned.
To steal a phrase from the Brits, you owe him f**k all.
Which, in my view, extends to your attempts at courtesy towards him. It is not as if he can absorb or appreciate your efforts. So, I gently encourage you to live life as if he wasn't coming to town. That's about as normal as normal can be.
After everything he has done, what do I really owe him? Especially when he hasn't owned up to anything. I'm tired of trying to be fair to someone so selfish pretending nothing ever happened.
Which, in my view, extends to your attempts at courtesy towards him. It is not as if he can absorb or appreciate your efforts. So, I gently encourage you to live life as if he wasn't coming to town. That's about as normal as normal can be.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Story, it's okay to say "I have other plans" and not see him at all, even if he shows up. You get to decide how you spend your weekend and I can already hear the anxiety in your post.
Camping sounds like a great idea, why not just make plans to take your son and go camping.
Hugs
Camping sounds like a great idea, why not just make plans to take your son and go camping.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
because he hasn't told me, nor do I really want to know. If I know, I have to be available (or do I?).
as he has not TOLD you of his plans, dates, times, etc. NOR has he ASKED to actually SEE his children at specified time for a specified event. YOU are not obligated to..............anything. it's Wednesday...if you have not heard from him by now you are under NO obligation to reserve any of YOUR time for HIM.
whatever his reasons for showing up are HIS....you can quit trying to discern what is going on his head....his life has no relation to yours. who he is with, what he is doing, what his motivation may or may not be.
go on with YOUR life. YOUR plans. quit letting him rent space in your head. he is no longer relevant.
as he has not TOLD you of his plans, dates, times, etc. NOR has he ASKED to actually SEE his children at specified time for a specified event. YOU are not obligated to..............anything. it's Wednesday...if you have not heard from him by now you are under NO obligation to reserve any of YOUR time for HIM.
whatever his reasons for showing up are HIS....you can quit trying to discern what is going on his head....his life has no relation to yours. who he is with, what he is doing, what his motivation may or may not be.
go on with YOUR life. YOUR plans. quit letting him rent space in your head. he is no longer relevant.
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