ritaw13

My 21-year old grandson is a long time substance abuser. Roxycodone (intravenous) is his drug of choice. He is now on subuex, but is I just found out that he's injecting that too. He just came back to live with me after a charge of unlawful posession of Xanax. I had to kick him out a year ago for using when he was supposed to be clean.

Just before he came back here he got a charge of unlawful posession of Xanax. I got him a lawyer to try to keep him from going to prison. We had just gotten the process started of getting him into a great training program for the automotive industry that would set him up for a successful career. Now that is all up in the air(most probably dashed).

I am at my wits end. The financial and emotional toll is devastating, but I am so afraid to send hime to the streets in fear of what might happen.


I am:
Codependent and scared

pommie

I'm right where you are and its awful. I just find it hard to believe that sending someone to the streets with nothing could help. Please guys don't slam me, I want to get to that point but I'm not there yet.

visegrip

at some point, "sending them to the streets" may be the only answer.......... At some point for the family well being this may be the only option.

greeteachday

I found it easier to look at the steps I could take somewhere in the middle. I recognized that constantly protecting, shielding, paying for lawyers, covering up, etc. was not only making me one sick puppy it was doing absolutely nothing to help my daughter. I was, in many ways, aiding her addiction - making it worse.

So I worked on me - one little step at a time with some steps backwards at times as well. I found others who understood, I went to counseling, I came to SR, went to Naranon meetings, established a good support network and worked on changing me. Those changes made a difference in my relationship with my daughter as well - in a good way. I was no longer trying to control and manipulate (yeah, what an eye opening experience that was - to realize I manipulated as much if not more than she did)

I don't believe that working on our own recovery means the only "right" thing to do is throw someone out "on the streets." There are many choices we have and everyone is different. For me, the most important part was taking those first steps. It's like running a marathon - You don't get off the couch one day and just do it- You set goals, train, work hard and eventually as you look back, you realize how far you have come.

I hope you will give it a try.

pommie

Thanks greeteachday. YOur post gives me a lot to think about. I have a lot of work to do on me.

chicory

Rita, welcome!

I feel your anxiety, and understand. You will get a lot of understanding here, and some shared experiences and hope.

Is there anything you can do today, or soon, for yourself, just to take off the pressure? Greeteachday's post is wonderful and encouraging.

baby steps. I am learning to walk myself, with baby steps, through something similar in that I have an adult son in my home who is alcoholic. I know I cannot change him and I cannot let him stay and waste his life here. I am going to a therapist soon. I am going, because my life is unmanageable, and to find courage to do the hard things that need to happen.

You are not alone, by a long shot. Others will be along to share and offer hope and support.

hugs.

Chino

One of the first suggestions I got from my therapist was to set up a tent in the backyard, then tell my daughter she couldn't live here any longer if she wasn't clean and recovering. But I had to mean it and stand my ground.

It took me a couple of weeks of more therapy, more arguments, more stress but I got there. It was the beginning of summer and it was getting hot and humid. She found somewhere else to live really really fast.

ritaw13

Thank you so much for the insight and encouragement. I took my first baby step today and went to an Al-Anon meeting. We don't have Narc-Anon here, but many of the folks there are struggling with the narcotic issue. It's all the same anyway, addiction is addiction.

It really helped to talk to a mom who has been going through this for much longer than I have. Her 28 year old son is a herion addict whose been in tratment several times.

I have a trip planned to DC for the 4th and now I feel much better about going ahead and doing that for myself, and taking the next steps one day at a time.

This site is a wonderful support. I am so glad I found it.

Do any of you have loved ones who have abused the "subs" (injecting)? Form what I read on the internet, it is very dangerous and can even cause respiratory failure, especially when they are taking benzos too likke my grandson is.

Ksgirl

My AXH chooses to snort his oxy, and his adderall and whatever else. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please know my prayers are with you and I suggest you take that trip this weekend and TRY to catch your breath and enjoy yourself. (I recently went on one and it did wonders for my clarity). God bless