I have nothing left in me

Old 10-27-2014, 07:09 PM
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Trying Iris gardens....
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Old 10-27-2014, 07:45 PM
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This little gal was tough. She got milk off the neighbors steps at dark o'clock in the morning because she needed food for her and her siblings when her Daddy was at sea, because that was when her AA mom would take off for a few days at a time.

It was then that she had seen a wolf in a magazine rescuing wolf pups during a forest fire.
She knew then that she was given a wolf spirit to rescue and feed the puppies.

I have carried that memory with me and it comforts me.
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Old 10-27-2014, 08:35 PM
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Today got call from school, niece did not go to school. I told them she it's 18 and unmanageable that they have to deal directly with her.
RA Sister fell down stairs and has a fracture on her foot. She is asking for more of her meds.
I had her down to 1/2 her daily doses and now she is back up on some to full dose and it is obvious it is too much. Not sure if she is taking her psych meds...Yikes!!
Can't seem to get through enough days without the rubbish.
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Old 10-28-2014, 03:58 AM
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Sometimes we have smooth sailing, but sometimes we need icebreakers.
You are up to it------or you wouldn't BE a SeaBee brat.

Firefall......wolf in spirit......a high order asset to complement
our SR phalanx of hard core mustard cutting codependency
search and destroy specialists.
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Old 10-29-2014, 07:26 AM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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From Vale. "Sometimes we have smooth sailing, but sometimes we need icebreakers.
You are up to it------or you wouldn't BE a SeaBee brat."

Yep!
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Old 10-29-2014, 11:04 AM
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Firefall...for me it always about trying...I just called the doctor...for whatever reason my meds aren't doing the job right now...and I am doing the therapy too...so will start on something given to me 3 years ago but I was so busy working on what vale calls fire bombs in life around financial survival and personal/family survival (including moving to my husband's home country to regroup, and starting to find people to teach english to) that I never really took the additional medication...so today he told me we need to try that so that I can continue to do the hard work that is mine. I actually went down on medications in Chile...but it was a fluke...don't like medications and wasn't needing to interview and work to get to the next step...so losing my job this time...took me down the drain...but I am doing the work and and taking the steps...one at a time. I know you have a full plate and I also know that that picture is when your wolf spirit was born...and wolves mate for life and are family creatures (that is my spirit animal)--so just keep taking the baby steps as you can...laughing with and at the duck...because you two get me smiling and it is hard to smile right now...and just know that i take the smallest steps possible when I am down for the count...but I know that I need to take the steps because the alternative is not something I am willing to consider...and slow by slow...the program I work helps...and my attitude changes for the better...and I quit the internal fight within me that I can't quite grasp...and I just keep walking towards the horizon.

So...trying is good...and taking care of yourself is good...and you and the Duck just keep quacking!!!
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Old 10-29-2014, 03:38 PM
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Thanks for sharing Irisgarden... yes there is something about unusual animal friendships, that silly duck keeps me from getting too serwious for too long.

Hang in there take your meds that you need. Wolf is standing on hilltop looking up at the moon and what? What is that? It's a bird, no it's a plane, wait it is the duck, riding on the wing of a B25!!!
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Old 02-15-2015, 06:37 PM
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Hello again, I have been gone a long while because Hell is a far off place.
have gotten the young adult relative out of my home finally, she left yesterday.

Before that I just kept sinking down, like the bathwater going down the drain.
My best friend of 37 years had the key to the prison door that my home had become.
She said, you are strong, you were never afraid to stand up before, why now?
I thought on this a few days and realized I was acting and feeling emotional abuse. I had gotten afraid to go to sleep at night.
I realized, I am not a victim and I had let my compassion for this person cloud my judgement. Then I gave up. Defeat!!
When I sorted it out last Thursday, I told her that she could do what she wants, just not in my home any longer. Said I did not care where she found to go, but she had to be out this weekend. And she went!!!
Why did it take me so long to do this?
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Old 02-15-2015, 06:41 PM
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Hey...PM tomorrow.

Good to see you back on the board.

Z
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Old 02-16-2015, 09:49 AM
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Firefall...so glad you are back...you took some big steps while away...and I am so very happy to know this.

Your wolf spirit is getting stronger again...going back to October...the duck sewiously also has a strong spirit and good fun and funny...since I truly am sewious (some would say too...but I work not to use that 3 letter word...not productive nor helpful)--it is always good to lighten up and you have it in you too.

Just smiling at your share.
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Old 02-16-2015, 04:48 PM
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Just the right salve. I am working resting my spirit this week.
Reminding myself of who I am. Then reaching out to help others who actually want to receive help.

There were some big surprises bigger lessons. I have a lot of work ahead, but I faced the darkness, hunted it down and left it behind.

Sorry I left you all, it is just I could barely get through each day, let alone think or communicate what was inside.
I did think of the wise counsels that were given and they were like little beacon lights in the distance.
Hopefully this thread will be ending soon.
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Old 02-16-2015, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Firefall View Post
From Vale. "Sometimes we have smooth sailing, but sometimes we need icebreakers.
You are up to it------or you wouldn't BE a SeaBee brat."

Yep!
This one carried me daily. I reminded myself that it is true, not was.
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