I have nothing left in me
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
FireFall,
I will PM you at some point this evening to share some of my experiences. Not sure what time, but I will this evening.
I will PM you at some point this evening to share some of my experiences. Not sure what time, but I will this evening.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
Good for you!!!
[
What the problem is, my soul is worn out. I hope I haven't given up. I don't know. For the first time in my life I am saying... Don't you lie to me!....and my life is my life, and HEAR ME!!!.....I know that I matter, why don't you?
Rambling[/QUOTE]
I like what you said about the fact that your life is your life. That is a good start...stand there and figure out the next step for ou.
I understand about pills but have done it...but am getting better and my doctor told me a few weeks ago that I have made GREAT STRIDES and have DONE REALLY HARD WORK--have been seeing him for 18 years...it was good to congratulate myself!!
You can do it too.
What the problem is, my soul is worn out. I hope I haven't given up. I don't know. For the first time in my life I am saying... Don't you lie to me!....and my life is my life, and HEAR ME!!!.....I know that I matter, why don't you?
Rambling[/QUOTE]
I like what you said about the fact that your life is your life. That is a good start...stand there and figure out the next step for ou.
I understand about pills but have done it...but am getting better and my doctor told me a few weeks ago that I have made GREAT STRIDES and have DONE REALLY HARD WORK--have been seeing him for 18 years...it was good to congratulate myself!!
You can do it too.
K9 Trainer, Ret. Sys Engr
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 389
Vale, thank you, can always count on you to say the tough stuff with a dash of compassion.
The tears are falling now, good sign the numbness is replaced with feeling. Your words make sense and so help me to change focus. Gonna put them in my courage to change notes and go over them until they are mine.
:::::so that you would have a 1% chance of not plummeting through the floor of the middle
class but all you did was accelerate your deadly trajectory::::::
I just don't get the logic and
don't know how to stop my expectations of level playing field.
FireFall is on her way to contemplate what the duck has said.
The tears are falling now, good sign the numbness is replaced with feeling. Your words make sense and so help me to change focus. Gonna put them in my courage to change notes and go over them until they are mine.
:::::so that you would have a 1% chance of not plummeting through the floor of the middle
class but all you did was accelerate your deadly trajectory::::::
I just don't get the logic and
don't know how to stop my expectations of level playing field.
FireFall is on her way to contemplate what the duck has said.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Firefall I just want to give you big hugs after reading all you have gone through. I can't begin to imagine. Some of us have so much more than others.
Vale is very wise Isn't he? No slogans from me. You have had a tough road and have endured no matter what. I am praying for you and your family. Know you do matter, to me and many others here!
Zoso you were top notch already in my book but you've moved up even higher. What a kind, caring and thoughtful guy you are!
Vale is very wise Isn't he? No slogans from me. You have had a tough road and have endured no matter what. I am praying for you and your family. Know you do matter, to me and many others here!
Zoso you were top notch already in my book but you've moved up even higher. What a kind, caring and thoughtful guy you are!
Last edited by needingabreak; 06-29-2014 at 05:44 PM. Reason: kindles auto correct grrrrr
K9 Trainer, Ret. Sys Engr
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 389
I have had trouble being really out there for me with my problems, so I thought I was alone... I didn't realize til this post that I kept tidying up the details, took me this long to risk sharing the growing up with an AP you learn to clean up the mess.
K9 Trainer, Ret. Sys Engr
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 389
Hi to you all, someone has been helping me for the last few days.
I didn't think to check with you all to let you know I was working some stuff out.
First, I have taken my head out of a really dark place with all of your help. Some met me right where I was, the rest I had to analyze. That is my comfort zone, information.
Drives some nuts, but has always been my lamp.
Second, thank you all for gathering around and giving of yourself for someone you only know by the wolf in the fire image. I tried to mention each of your posts, if I missed doing that, please don't think I missed letting you know every comment was/is a precious gift to me.
In the next few months, my living situation MUST change. Excited a little, scared a lot.
For now, I am going to come back to this thread and post as this is my first real appearance in public with no mask.
I started attending a 12 Step meeting, face to face and have some here I have gotten some input from.
Please, add whatever you think will help me move forward
YOU ARE ALL A GIFT
Thanks.
I didn't think to check with you all to let you know I was working some stuff out.
First, I have taken my head out of a really dark place with all of your help. Some met me right where I was, the rest I had to analyze. That is my comfort zone, information.
Drives some nuts, but has always been my lamp.
Second, thank you all for gathering around and giving of yourself for someone you only know by the wolf in the fire image. I tried to mention each of your posts, if I missed doing that, please don't think I missed letting you know every comment was/is a precious gift to me.
In the next few months, my living situation MUST change. Excited a little, scared a lot.
For now, I am going to come back to this thread and post as this is my first real appearance in public with no mask.
I started attending a 12 Step meeting, face to face and have some here I have gotten some input from.
Please, add whatever you think will help me move forward
YOU ARE ALL A GIFT
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
>>>>>for someone you only know by the wolf in the fire image.<<<<<
Better a wolf in fire than some stupid duck.
(maybe I quacked too much when I got here----but the name stuck)
.............Wolf Wayyyyyyy cooler!
Better a wolf in fire than some stupid duck.
(maybe I quacked too much when I got here----but the name stuck)
.............Wolf Wayyyyyyy cooler!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I just wanted to stop in and say I am thinking about you and send you huge hugs. It's so great that you are getting some face to face support too!
Have a peaceful and wonderful day! Love the duck LOL....I bet Vale does too!
Have a peaceful and wonderful day! Love the duck LOL....I bet Vale does too!
K9 Trainer, Ret. Sys Engr
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 389
Originally Posted by Vale 
<<<<<<<<<<<<
......still not as cool as a wolf....
....but when you live the life of poultry----you 'gotta accept
some limitations and learn to be happy with them.
......still not as cool as a wolf....
....but when you live the life of poultry----you 'gotta accept
some limitations and learn to be happy with them.
WAS 1of the 16 North American B-25 Mitchell medium bombers that took part in the famous Doolittle Raid of 1942, 'The Ruptured Duck,' along with Doolittle's own aircraft is one of the best known of the aircraft that took part.
Conceived as a way to boost the morale of a nation still in turmoil from the attack on Pearl Harbor, the Doolittle Raid consisted of B-25 Medium bombers taking off an aircraft carrier close to Japan, bombing Tokyo and then flying on to land in China.* While material damage would be slight, the effect on morale back in America, and detrimentally in Japan, would be huge.
'The Ruptured Duck' got its name from scraping its rear fuselage on the runway during short takeoff training. After bombing Tokyo the aircraft flew on to China where it crashed into the sea near Shangchow.* All of the crew survived.* The duck symbolizes, courage, tenacity and bravery....
They pushed the button Vale.
you and few others are my Doolittle Raiders having boosted my morale!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Yes,Firefall.....they pushed it.
It was militarily pointless.Essentially turning 16 valuable medium bombers
into flying gas cans/cruise missiles to drop ordnance scarcely more effective
than a few grenades.
Why did they expend so many lives and resources? For the same reason we
are here......to bear witness, even albeit anonymously ----- that the human
spirit will not lower it's eyes.....even for so frightening and cruel a leviathan
as addiction.
It will take and it will slaughter and it will lay waste to those we hold most
dear.And just when we feel all is lost, the faint hum of 32 Wright Twin Cyclones
very distant,on the deck, just a few knots shy of 300mph. Those riding them knew
the odds--- anyone with a basic knowledge of arithmetic could figure them out.But
they did it anyway.Not to deliver a strategic blow to the heart of the enemy.Hell,this
effort would not even qualify as tactical. But it WAS a hell of a nasty surprise to the
Japanese empire!
It, like SR, was nothing but a message---- we will not go gently into that good
night---- and you are not alone.
The last B-25 in the USAF inventory flew east out of March AFB in 1960.....18
years after the Raiders and the year I was born.
We are here for each other, my friends....and our eyes shall not be lowered.
P.S. - Thank you for my new avatar.....I love it!
It was militarily pointless.Essentially turning 16 valuable medium bombers
into flying gas cans/cruise missiles to drop ordnance scarcely more effective
than a few grenades.
Why did they expend so many lives and resources? For the same reason we
are here......to bear witness, even albeit anonymously ----- that the human
spirit will not lower it's eyes.....even for so frightening and cruel a leviathan
as addiction.
It will take and it will slaughter and it will lay waste to those we hold most
dear.And just when we feel all is lost, the faint hum of 32 Wright Twin Cyclones
very distant,on the deck, just a few knots shy of 300mph. Those riding them knew
the odds--- anyone with a basic knowledge of arithmetic could figure them out.But
they did it anyway.Not to deliver a strategic blow to the heart of the enemy.Hell,this
effort would not even qualify as tactical. But it WAS a hell of a nasty surprise to the
Japanese empire!
It, like SR, was nothing but a message---- we will not go gently into that good
night---- and you are not alone.
The last B-25 in the USAF inventory flew east out of March AFB in 1960.....18
years after the Raiders and the year I was born.
We are here for each other, my friends....and our eyes shall not be lowered.
P.S. - Thank you for my new avatar.....I love it!
K9 Trainer, Ret. Sys Engr
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 389
Originally Posted by Vale
Yes,Firefall.....they pushed it.
It was militarily pointless.Essentially turning 16 valuable medium bombers
into flying gas cans/cruise missiles to drop ordnance scarcely more effective
than a few grenades.
Why did they expend so many lives and resources? For the same reason we
are here......to bear witness, even albeit anonymously ----- that the human
spirit will not lower it's eyes.....even for so frightening and cruel a leviathan
as addiction.
It will take and it will slaughter and it will lay waste to those we hold most
dear.And just when we feel all is lost, the faint hum of 32 Wright Twin Cyclones
very distant,on the deck, just a few knots shy of 300mph. Those riding them knew
the odds--- anyone with a basic knowledge of arithmetic could figure them out.But
they did it anyway.Not to deliver a strategic blow to the heart of the enemy.Hell,this
effort would not even qualify as tactical. But it WAS a hell of a nasty surprise to the
Japanese empire!
It, like SR, was nothing but a message---- we will not go gently into that good
night---- and you are not alone.
The last B-25 in the USAF inventory flew east out of March AFB in 1960.....18
years after the Raiders and the year I was born.
We are here for each other, my friends....and our eyes shall not be lowered.
P.S. - Thank you for my new avatar.....I love it!
It was militarily pointless.Essentially turning 16 valuable medium bombers
into flying gas cans/cruise missiles to drop ordnance scarcely more effective
than a few grenades.
Why did they expend so many lives and resources? For the same reason we
are here......to bear witness, even albeit anonymously ----- that the human
spirit will not lower it's eyes.....even for so frightening and cruel a leviathan
as addiction.
It will take and it will slaughter and it will lay waste to those we hold most
dear.And just when we feel all is lost, the faint hum of 32 Wright Twin Cyclones
very distant,on the deck, just a few knots shy of 300mph. Those riding them knew
the odds--- anyone with a basic knowledge of arithmetic could figure them out.But
they did it anyway.Not to deliver a strategic blow to the heart of the enemy.Hell,this
effort would not even qualify as tactical. But it WAS a hell of a nasty surprise to the
Japanese empire!
It, like SR, was nothing but a message---- we will not go gently into that good
night---- and you are not alone.
The last B-25 in the USAF inventory flew east out of March AFB in 1960.....18
years after the Raiders and the year I was born.
We are here for each other, my friends....and our eyes shall not be lowered.
P.S. - Thank you for my new avatar.....I love it!
Today I am in a better place than a week ago because of the human spirit, a band of brothers/sister's, a wolf pack, a flock of five bombing ducks.
Standing together makes us strong as we strive for victory.
I am so moved by your post that it brought me to tears, the good kind. It makes me proud to be associated with SR.
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