nancylee

(I had put this in the wrong place, but can't delete it from Substance Abuse.)

I'm starting to think many doctors shouldn't have licenses! My brother was hooked on Ativan, my cousin was on Oxy, all prescribed. Now it's my SIL.

My MIL told my husband and I that as soon as she gets home from work around 4pm, she goes to bed. She has a teenaged daughter, and her much olderhusband died two years ago, so I was thinking depression. She told me she as been on Prozac for years.

My husband went to see her, and here is what she is on: concerta every morning, Prozac every morning and two Clonazepams at night. She's been given a benzo in one form or other for 9 years! So every afternoon, her anxiety skyrockets and she has to go to bed. Well, I'm thinking her body is screaming for more Clonazepams, and the Concerta is also amping her anxiety!

I tend to be the one who learns about this stuff, so they asked me what to do! There is a doctor in NJ who helps people get off this stuff. My brother went and it helped him. So that's what Imsugfested. But are we on the right track? She is so down and anxiety-ridden, she cannot advocate for herself, so we have to do it,

Thanks in advance,
Nancy

hopeful4

Sounds like a good suggestion. Advocate for her poor daughter also.

You are on the right track if she is willing to get the help and get well.

Good luck!

nancylee

Thanks for the encouragement. On Saturday, she was ready to quit, she was going to see a new doctor, get off of them. Today, she says the doctor doesn't take her insurance, her old doctor who has given her benzos for ten years is very good, he says she needs these pills, she's not going to get off of them.

So what do you do? Just let her lay in bed from 4PM everyday? Let her daughter watch her and mostly fend for herself? Her daughter is 17, should my husband threaten to put in for guardianship for her? He is beside himself.
Thank you.

Ann

She is very blessed to have you both, it just may save her life.

Find a neutral professional to go to, forget those who have prescribed blindly for years, and have her assessed and a plan put in place to detox and regulate what is needed and what is just addiction. This is a huge medical issue for her, as well as physical and psychological.

Her depression and neurosis is probably very real, but it could be due to the medication mix as much as anything else.

Please don't give up. This is quite different than trying to take control of someone's addiction. She is very sick, has a daughter who may need help to and it's time to intercede and see of you can't turn this around.

I'm not a professional, so please talk to someone who is and get their advice how to proceed from here.

My prayers go out for all of you.

Hugs

nancylee

Thank you, Ann, for your thoughtful answer. I think she is going to an addiction doctor tonight, fingers crossed.
Nancy

biminiblue

I agree with you that medical doctors with no training in addiction should not be overprescribing like they do.

My doctor who I trust and who is a Harvard graduate, overprescribed to me when I was drinking. I had to wrestle back my own sobriety from prescription meds and now I have cut her off from giving me anything else. Was I in need? Maybe. But I have learned to deal with my life in other ways including reading, healthy diet, exercise, prayer and meditation. Keeping busy and setting daily goals is also invaluable.

I hope your SIL is able to see through her fog and get well. I was that daughter so I have empathy for your situation.

Blessings.

Ann

Prayers out that all goes well today and that she finally gets some professional help to deal with all this.

Hugs

needingabreak

Nancy it sounds like she needs a therapist or another MD who can tell what is causing what. It could be the medications but she also could be very anxious and depressed. Kind of hard to tell with all the medications. At the very least it sounds like the medications need to be lowered. I hope you can come together and find someone who can evaluate her and get her and her daughter some help.
They are very blessed to have you both looking out for her best interests. Doctors need to stop prescribing so many pills for everything.

nancylee

Wanted to update: I bullied my SIL into going to the addiction doctor, because she was going to go back to see her "excellent" pill pusher doctor. I called around and spoke to a rehab near her, who said they take her insurance and that even though she is using Clonazapem only at night, the rehab would probably be covered by insurance.

So I called her and told her if she didnt make an appointment with this new doctor, my husband and I would be at her house and take her to rehab Friday morning, the first day of her summer vacation. Her daughter would have to stay with family an hour away. If she left the rehab, we would look into another permanent living arrangement for her daughter. I was worried she would say OK, because she doesn't want the responsibility and fighting that goes on with her daughter, who is angry and defiant. But her better angels seem to have rallied her, as she made the appt for last night.

My husband's other sister went with her, and the last thing I texted her was, "don't let her minimalize this." She promised she woudnt. I assumed she would go in with her, as she has been lying to all of us for years about this. She didnt. She stayed in he waiting room while the addicted sister had her appointment, later telling me, "I'm sure she wouldn't lie to the doctor." Really?!? I had no idea that sober sister was in such denial. When I asked my addicted SIL, she said, "She's not allowed in, and besides, it's private." She did sound better, but I don't know what she told the doctor.

Here's what she said the doctor said: she is most worried about depression, she's switching my SIL to Wellbutrin from Prozac, and going to wean her off of the Clonazapem, and Concerta. But not now. Doesn't sound like she's worried about them as much. My SIL has been saying she doesn't want to be here anymore, which we just found out last night. He best friend killed herself about 4 years ago, and that scares us. But I'm confused. Maybe I'm wrong and the Clonazapem isn't an issue for her, or maybe she lied to the doctor or maybe she is lying about her treatment. Who knows? She's denied taking a benzo for years and no one heard her conversation with this new doctor.

I'm about to wash my hands of this because denial runs deep in my husband's family. Only his cousin who was married to an alcoholic for 15 years understands the levels of deception she may be capable of. And me, because I quit drinking four years ago. Everyone else thinks the problem is solved. I hope so, but have deep doubts. My husband plans to go with her to the doctor next week, and to go into the appointment with her. Yes, we are being bullies. I don't care. If we found her hanging in her basement, like her friend, we would always feel guilty.
Thank you for your kind and wise help,
Nancy

nancylee

Question: where can I find out if 1 mg of Clonazapem adult for 9 years every night is addictive? My SIL went to this new doctor who told her she wasn't concerned about this level and would wean her, but do it later. Kept her on the Concerta, too.

Is there a resource for this type of information? I'm getting a bad feeling about this doctor, too. She was recommended by my husband's cousin, an Oxy addict; he started with her after he stopped going to the doctor who got him off Oxy. He relapsed, and then found this doctor, who "He loves!" I wonder if she's a candy store, like the doctor who gave her this drug for 9 years.
Thank you,
Nancy

nancylee

Anyone know anything about this level of Klonopin?

hopeful4

I would recommend a psychiatrist that has a specialty in dealing with addicts or is at least very familiar with the deception that comes along with them. After I kicked my XAH out of our house that is the type of psychiatrist I went to b/c he specializes in addiction and treating addicts and the families of. It was a very good experience.

However, you are right, you cannot control this situation. She has to be in charge of her own recovery, that is for sure. By bullying her into recovery it just means she did not want it, you guys did. I get it, but that rarely works.

I am so sorry. Take good care of you. Be there for her child.

XXX

ps...one last thing. Meds are a slippery slope. My X is a depressed and anxiety ridden person. Without medication he would not be able to function in life at all. So there are some people who do need medication. I would possibly talk to a pharmacist about levels of meds and addiction, etc. They will talk to you for free and many times can do a better job than the actual doctor.

nancylee

My SIL called her other sister on Monday - she said that her 17 year old daughter was coming home the next day, and that she couldn't take care of her, she couldn't do anything. She had been curled up in a ball for the past few days, her cousin went over and said she had lost about 50 pounds also. The "addiction specialist" quack she went to the previous week kept her on the klonopin, Concerta and Prozac and added Wellbutrin.

My husband, his sister and cousin and husband took her to a rehab, where they admitted her, mostly because of her weight loss and the suicidal thoughts. They weren't that concerned about the Klonopin, but they are weaning her off. The thing is, she sounds just like my brother did, who had to get weaned off of Ativan: ok in the morning, but by the afternoon, the anxiety skyrockets and the depression is crushing. Sounds like the withdrawals from benzos I have been reading. My brother had a great doctor who weaned him off the Ativan with Valium and then got him off the Valium, and he is better now.

f I can find this information out, why don't the experts know this???
I realize that I may not have the whole picture, but she is a pathological liar and my husband keeps in touch with the social worker who said that she "doesn't understand why she is in the rehab." And the first night, she complained because her roommate was a "drug addict."

Family is in denial, no help except for my husband. Mother says "She just has to be strong, and get off these pills, and she's not strong." Sister says, "She'll be fine." Meanwhile, that sister has my addicted SIL's angry, defiant 17 year old daughter that I said I wouldn't take. They may send the addicted SIL home on Friday, and I don't think that is enough time!! She was seriously depressed, had anxiety, was on Klonopin every night for 9 years, didn't food shop for herself or daughter, didn't get out of bed once the school year was over! (She is a school nurse.)

Do you have any suggestions as to get her more time? Or perhaps have her sent to another, different hospital?? I don't see that they could do anything in four days, except maybe to start her off of the Klonopin, which they are doing. (and her anxiety is skyrocketing and she isn't sleeping) If she goes home, I guarantee that she will either end up in bed again, or back on the Klonopin. It seems as thought Rx addicts are taught to not see themselves as addicts, like drinkers, heroin or other addicts are, which is a huge disservice to them, if you ask me.

ANY help greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Nancy

zoso77

Nancy, I'm less concerned about your SIL and more concerned about you.

Sometimes, events transpire that are not in our control. This is one of them. So I'm of the opinion that the best thing for you is to disengage and allow whatever is supposed to happen happen.

Take care of you.

atalose

No one that is prescribed medication by a doctor sees themselves as an addict. If she is not abusing the prescribed meds, running low each month, attempting to get more from multiple doctors and taking them as prescribed, then maybe she is not really an addict.

I agree that HER depression and HER course of treatment or lack of the kind of treatment you wish her to seek.......is out of your control.

We can't force them to go anywhere, stay longer or read on the Internet altnative treatments we feel THEIR doctors should take.

I'm glad your brother worked with a doctor to switch from one drug addiction to another then finaly become drug free it often doesn't work out that way.

nancylee

Yes, you are right. I went to an AlAnon meeting tonight and remembered that she has her own life to live and her own decisions. It is hard to remember that when it's life and death. Thank you.

nancylee

We aren't sure what she is doing - she has meds from 4 different doctors. And she lies of the time. And everything I read about Klonopin says that you shouldn't be on it for 9 years. But I do have to disengage here.

atalose

That's what addicts do best - LIE.

I'm sure a blood screen at the hospital might show what she's on and the doctors will have a better idea of her levels. But until she WANTS to get real and honest and address her issues it's going to be that merry go round. And now that the ride has come to a stop, temporary or not........it's time for you to get off, step away and try and get your concern wrapped more around being there if and when she truely decides to get her mental health issues and pill issue under control.

nancylee

Yup. You are right. I am OFF the merry go round. My husband wouldn't come to the AlAnon meeting tonight, he wanted to talk to her, tell her that they all went to great efforts to get her there and sit with her all day through intake, and if she won't be honest with the doctors about wanting to harm herself, he is through.

Until the next time she is laying in the fetal position, saying she doesn't want to live.

The merry go round continues to spin. Without me.

atalose

Good for you! Give al-alon a chance, they say at least 6 meetings to see if it's for you. And if your husband is not interested in attending with you, that's ok.

One of the first things I was told when I began al-anon many moons ago was:

Recovery is being asked to give up everything you know, to get something better that you don't yet understand.

For me it was learning healthier approaches to life and healthier coping skills when pushed to the limit by dysfunction around me. What I have learned has not only helped me deal with the addict but with people and life in general.