Relapse again after a year of being clean..
 

My son served 8mo in jail and while in jail heard of the Just in Reach program - a 3 step process to help addicts transition back into society with a 90 day Rehab, then moving to Sober Living, and job leads.

My son agreed to do this so after he was released went straight to Rehab. He only had 2 1/2 weeks left till he "graduated" when he was kicked out, he claims, because he had talked back to one of the guys in charge, because he felt he was being disrespected. Being back in his home town is a very hot trigger for him and as a result he had relapsed the very next day he was out, which I was afraid of. Even after a year of being clean, that was all it took.

He was advised to immediately go to meetings for the continued support and to meet someone who would like to be his sponsor. He has not followed through with that or in trying to find a sober living house. So I have been doing that and will have him decide who he would like to call to get in. I really have to bug him to do this. He has no initiative to do this on his own.

Finances are a very big problem. He does have GR but only gets like $200 a mo. I have heard that GR can also help with rental assistance. Does anyone know of this, and how to go about with this process?

And does anyone have recommendations of a reputable sober living house? I have heard that some of these sober living houses in the San Fernando/Los Angeles areas are really not that supportive of helping the addict to maintain a drug free lifestlye. They in fact only take men in for the money and let them get high while living there.

Just because he got kicked out of rehab doesn't mean he cant still follow through with his plan, even though he does not receive support from the Just in Reach program anymore, so I am trying so hard to get information to help him get through this. He is 25 yrs old with a whole life ahead of him, and the longer he stays at his dads, the worse I'm afraid this will get.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you

You probably aren't gonna like my advice, but I don't think you should do anything.

None of this is any of your business.

He is a 25 year old MAN dealing with adult consequences of his behaviour, and you are still being his mommy, trying to bail him out of trouble and save him.

It's his problem. Let him deal with it.

Hope International has a free program.
I believe they can stay for 18 months. They go to the rehab first and then move forward to their own apartment and they help with job placement. He will want to ask for Pastor Ed and he will have to keep calling so they know he is serious. It's not something you can do for him.

4903 Fountain Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90029
(323) 663-9394

We as parents cannot make out children do anything and if he doesn't want to get clean no amount of bugging him is going to help. The hard truth is he has to want it himself. Giving him suggestions may get him thinking and let him know he has options but again, he has to want it.
Maybe telling him he has some options if he chooses to get clean and then letting him know you are no longer going to help him in any way, shape or form till he is serious about getting clean would be a good idea for you. Once their life lines get pulled, reality hits them and makes it a bit harder for them to do the things they easily do with a parent's "help."
From one mom to another-pull the plug and make it uncomfortable. That is what will really help.