Gone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Milwaukee wi
Posts: 9
Gone
My boyfriend was found dead this morning. I'm so numb right now. I don't know what to do. He tried calling last night and I had his calls blocked. I've been so mad that he wouldn't stop using crack even though he was supposed to have pacemaker surgery. I feel so guilty that I didn't pick up. He left a message that he wasn't feeling good and was going to bed.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Aww, sweetie, I am so very sorry, how awful this must be for you.
Please know that it wasn't your fault, that nothing you did or did not do would have made any difference. Sadly, when our loved ones use drugs they sit on death's door and either pass over or make the decision to stop and get well.
Have you family or anyone you can be with right now? If you don't, maybe find a meeting of CoDA or Al-anon and go and share what happened and wrap yourself in support.
My prayers go out for all who loved this man, may he rest in peace in the arms of God.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
Please know that it wasn't your fault, that nothing you did or did not do would have made any difference. Sadly, when our loved ones use drugs they sit on death's door and either pass over or make the decision to stop and get well.
Have you family or anyone you can be with right now? If you don't, maybe find a meeting of CoDA or Al-anon and go and share what happened and wrap yourself in support.
My prayers go out for all who loved this man, may he rest in peace in the arms of God.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Big huge hugs to you. Please know nothing you could have done would have saved him. Drugs do so much damage to a person's body. There would have been no way, even if he got through for you to have known what was going on. I am so sorry you are having to go through this right now. My nephew died pretty much the same way but from heroin. My prayers are with you and his loved ones. So so sorry. We are,all here for you but I hope you have someone you can talk to about this.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm sure you are numb. Everything will feel very unreal for awhile. I hope you are surrounded by support and love in your life just as you are here. Please know that you did not do anything to feel guilty about. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
I am so sorry.
But you need to know that it's not your fault. There were very good reasons why you blocked him. He made his choices, and based on his choices, you made yours.
Be safe. We're all here for you.
ZoSo
But you need to know that it's not your fault. There were very good reasons why you blocked him. He made his choices, and based on his choices, you made yours.
Be safe. We're all here for you.
ZoSo
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
I am so very sorry for your loss. I agree with all of the other comments that there is nothing that you could have done to prevent this or change this. Somehow we feel like there is maybe something we could have done differently but there isn't....there just isn't. It doesn't stop the pain or numbness though.
There are a number of our members that have lost their loved ones too and I know that they will be along to let you know that you are not alone with all of the feelings that come with this.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
There are a number of our members that have lost their loved ones too and I know that they will be along to let you know that you are not alone with all of the feelings that come with this.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
please accept my deepest sympathy in the loss of your loved one ~
Like others have said, please focus on the truth that this is a side effect of the disease, not a consequence of your actions ~
hopefully as you heal in your grief, you will be able to cherish the good memories of your loved one, because we all know they are more than their disease and that's the part we can keep with us.
Special prayers, good thoughts & gentle pink hugs to you & all who love him
Like others have said, please focus on the truth that this is a side effect of the disease, not a consequence of your actions ~
hopefully as you heal in your grief, you will be able to cherish the good memories of your loved one, because we all know they are more than their disease and that's the part we can keep with us.
Special prayers, good thoughts & gentle pink hugs to you & all who love him
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
I am so sorry, such a tragedy, losing someone you love to their addiction.
Using these drugs is playing Russian Roulette. He made his choices to do the drugs, not you.
Praying for all of you who love him. May he rest sweetly in peace, free from the demons of drugs now.
Using these drugs is playing Russian Roulette. He made his choices to do the drugs, not you.
Praying for all of you who love him. May he rest sweetly in peace, free from the demons of drugs now.
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