Need some advice
 

A month ago my AH decided he wanted help. He spent a week in an inpatient program, moved to a sober house and was attending a day program. He attended three days of a two week program and relapsed. He decided he wanted to go to a residential rehab program. So we worked out a plan to get in the program, appeared to maintain sobriety until a bed could be found, but unfortunately he came down with a legit medical condition and we had to delay due to several days of hospitalization.

So the crux of the issue is this. I told him if he worked his program and maintained 3 weeks sober he could go on a family trip with us. He could not meet the target. He met half the target. It's Memorial Day weekend and we are leaving on Friday, AH wants to come with us. Memorial Day had always been a big deal. I know if he goes with us he won't have access to cash, drugs or booze. We are going camping in the woods at a family resort. I almost feel like if he is working his sobriety to go on vacation without him at the time would be almost cruel. I am still angry and I haven't been really nice. But I feel like he is reaching out for help. Like a I want to have fun without drugs kind of help.

I am kind of not sure what to do here. I think he sounded really sober, and had clarity. But I have been fooled before. I have a session with my therapists tommorow, I just wanted so feedback to help orient my thoughts.:feedback:

half the target = half a trip.

find a way to cut the trip in half for him.

Does your living room need to be painted?

Yes!
 

Genius!:tyou

lol!

The solution has such an elegant simplicity to it. Here I was in analysis paralysis until anykey came along...

I am sorry but I respectfully disagree. This isn't a "he didn't do all his homework" situation.

I can understand why you want him to go but for me, getting honest with myself was part of my own recovery and healing.

A girl I know went to a 3 month rehab for her crack addiction. She has been crack free (but still smokes pot) for about 5 yrs. She told me.....her thinking was the entire first month... I just need to clean up so I can control my use again. By the 3rd month, she understood the insanity of her own thinking. I read that a lot and now can understand why a lot of people fail after going to a 28-30 day program. It's just not long enough.

IMO, be prepared for when he gets home or even on the trip.

It worked out
 

I just wanted to post an update. The trip ended up working out. And he went right from the trip to rehab and has been sober ever since. Phew!

That's fantastic. Looking forward to more positive updates.

P.S. I am happy to read he had a program in place after the trip.

I am really happy for all of you, that the trip was enjoyable and that he is in rehab.

It sounds like you both are on a good path now and I hope there are many beautiful tomorrows for each of you.

Hugs