Ann

You have control of your choices and what you choose to do today. Thinking we can control another is an illusion, so there is no loss of control when they don't do what we want them to do. It took me a long time to learn that.

As the mama of an addict, I would want to know before I took responsibility for a vehicle being in my name and driven by someone active in addiction.

Why not transfer it to his name and then let go of where it goes from there? Or simply tell him he will have to arrange his own transportation. If he can make it to find drugs, he can find a way to go to work...or not.

I know how your heart hurts right now, but if you just focus on you and plan better days ahead for yourself, I think you will see things fall into place.

Hugs

chicory

Obsessing over decisions is an awful place to be in.

Focusing on him so much will make you sick, and wont solve much either.

if you dont want to put him behind a wheel, don't!

I think I would worry more about him having unsupervised visits with your child.

Firefall

What does taking the van represent to you? If you can put that in perspective perhaps you can feel good about your choices.

barefoottoday

Firefall, you asked a great question. Thank you for helping me focus. And thank you everyone for being there.

bellanoviella

After reading your post, it sounds like I typed it myself. You were right, we can absolutely relate to each other. The only difference is, you seem much stronger than me about putting your foot down and not letting yourself get dragged up with him. I have not kicked my boyfriend out, but this also is semi new.. If he relapses again, that's what I'm telling myself I should do. They say you have to make them hit rock bottom, if I'm still helping him (not financially) with my love and support, that's not necessarily rock bottom.. I also agree with you about it being hard to reach out for help. I'm very prideful and stubborn.. It was extremely hard coming to this site. But it's already helped so much just knowing I'm not alone and there are so many people that are here to offer an ear or advice. We'll get through this one way or another.