I got accepted into grad school!! Yippee!! :-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: In bizarroworld
Posts: 94
I got accepted into grad school!! Yippee!! :-)
After all the drama and chaos thati went through while fulfilling my dream of going back to college after 30 years of drinking, just to be ruined by going up with my ex and trying to save him from himself and trying to discern the lies from the truth, after graduating last Friday with my Bachelor's degree, I found out today that I've been accepted into grad school to get my Master's degree! Yea me! :-)
Before I met my ex, I was so happy, with my new sobriety (7 months) to be accepted into school to become a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor. I met my ex, life and love was glorious, he relapsed before I graduated, then I found out I needed a Bachelor's degree to be a csac, so I went to University to get my Bachelor's, all while living in the insanity of his constant relapse (when ever I hada test, finals, a presentation, at the beginning of a semester or the end of one, etc), I finally graduated last Friday and it meant nothing to me cos of my resentments about his ruining my dream with his relapses.
But, now with my acceptance into the Master's program, I can further my education beyond my wildest dreams and without his chaos to ruin it. I am so filled with gratitude about that! (I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to get back together just to ruin that, but I know better now.)
Having given time time, I've seen that he had nothing to offer me but misery and, his being in a long term rehab, I hope the best for him, but he is no longer my concern. I sold myself short, just to have someone to love, who lived heroin more than me. Ah well.
But I get to go to school without chaos and I'll still be working with pre and post release inmates with substance abuse problems, which is my dream. At 53, I'm living my dream. Yippee!!!
Thanks for being here for me and helping me through my insanity. And thanks for letting me share.
Before I met my ex, I was so happy, with my new sobriety (7 months) to be accepted into school to become a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor. I met my ex, life and love was glorious, he relapsed before I graduated, then I found out I needed a Bachelor's degree to be a csac, so I went to University to get my Bachelor's, all while living in the insanity of his constant relapse (when ever I hada test, finals, a presentation, at the beginning of a semester or the end of one, etc), I finally graduated last Friday and it meant nothing to me cos of my resentments about his ruining my dream with his relapses.
But, now with my acceptance into the Master's program, I can further my education beyond my wildest dreams and without his chaos to ruin it. I am so filled with gratitude about that! (I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to get back together just to ruin that, but I know better now.)
Having given time time, I've seen that he had nothing to offer me but misery and, his being in a long term rehab, I hope the best for him, but he is no longer my concern. I sold myself short, just to have someone to love, who lived heroin more than me. Ah well.
But I get to go to school without chaos and I'll still be working with pre and post release inmates with substance abuse problems, which is my dream. At 53, I'm living my dream. Yippee!!!
Thanks for being here for me and helping me through my insanity. And thanks for letting me share.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by terryr97 
But I get to go to school without chaos and I'll still be working with pre and post release inmates with substance abuse problems, which is my dream. At 53, I'm living my dream. Yippee!!!
You made it this far with obstacles in your way. Think how great it will be to face the next step in your journey unencumbered and free. You shine girl!!!
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8
Hi I was looking at step 1 and these are some things that came out of it:
My life has resorted to being intimidating, obnoxious and overbearing to my wife. I treat her with disrespect, by trying to change her.
Ive used and turned her mother against her, by telling her about her daughters marijuana use, and the claims of how this affects our marriage. This has resulted in my wifes relationship with her mother being, very stressed. My mother inlaw is 89 years old.
We argue every two to three weeks, and I look for fault in everything my wife does and say (this has gone on for the last 2 years of, our marriage). This has manifested itself by threatening to put the police onto her and her cousin, who supplies her with marijuana.
I make an issue, that in the early part of our relationship, she told me she had used marijuana for only 4 years, when in reality she has used for 20 plus years.
Ive tried smoking marijuana with her to be in with her. This has undermined my thoughts about being, negative to drugs.
I smoke cigarettes after an absence of 15 to 20 years, as the stress this relationship dynamics cause me.
Im frightened that my wife will leave me, as she has threatened to numerous times, and that I would have failed my marriage. Im scared of being alone and rejected.
I get angry with my wife, when she wants to spend time with her friends and not with me, my wife care gives her mother in another town, so for the most part of our marriage we do live apart.
I constantly go out of my way to do jobs for my wife at the expense of doing my own things where I live. A lot of jobs have been neglected, out of trying to please my wife.
At work, at home and a lot of time I spend by myself, I have constant internal and verbal dialogue with myself, about how I can control or manipulate my wife, so that she is, pleased with me.
I am constantly distracted by thoughts about her, and struggle to live in the now, which is probably why I don’t progress myself.
The only time my wife and I get on is when we have sex, then we pledge to each other about how we wont do these things to each other again.
We’ve do the same thing all the time, trying to achieve a different result. It doesn’t work.
I cant avoid creating scenarios in my head about what my wife is doing with her male friends, these run rampant, and I end up saying the wrong things to her. I become jealous
When my wife smokes, she becomes very talkative, tells lies, judgemental etc, and I take this talk on board, then some time later, down the track, I use it against her.
These above behaviours are affecting my sanity and my health.
When I spend time with my family, I feel continually restless, like I don’t want to be with them, especially when Im not with my wife.
In previous relationships, I haven’t had very good break ups. Ive always made a drama
My life has resorted to being intimidating, obnoxious and overbearing to my wife. I treat her with disrespect, by trying to change her.
Ive used and turned her mother against her, by telling her about her daughters marijuana use, and the claims of how this affects our marriage. This has resulted in my wifes relationship with her mother being, very stressed. My mother inlaw is 89 years old.
We argue every two to three weeks, and I look for fault in everything my wife does and say (this has gone on for the last 2 years of, our marriage). This has manifested itself by threatening to put the police onto her and her cousin, who supplies her with marijuana.
I make an issue, that in the early part of our relationship, she told me she had used marijuana for only 4 years, when in reality she has used for 20 plus years.
Ive tried smoking marijuana with her to be in with her. This has undermined my thoughts about being, negative to drugs.
I smoke cigarettes after an absence of 15 to 20 years, as the stress this relationship dynamics cause me.
Im frightened that my wife will leave me, as she has threatened to numerous times, and that I would have failed my marriage. Im scared of being alone and rejected.
I get angry with my wife, when she wants to spend time with her friends and not with me, my wife care gives her mother in another town, so for the most part of our marriage we do live apart.
I constantly go out of my way to do jobs for my wife at the expense of doing my own things where I live. A lot of jobs have been neglected, out of trying to please my wife.
At work, at home and a lot of time I spend by myself, I have constant internal and verbal dialogue with myself, about how I can control or manipulate my wife, so that she is, pleased with me.
I am constantly distracted by thoughts about her, and struggle to live in the now, which is probably why I don’t progress myself.
The only time my wife and I get on is when we have sex, then we pledge to each other about how we wont do these things to each other again.
We’ve do the same thing all the time, trying to achieve a different result. It doesn’t work.
I cant avoid creating scenarios in my head about what my wife is doing with her male friends, these run rampant, and I end up saying the wrong things to her. I become jealous
When my wife smokes, she becomes very talkative, tells lies, judgemental etc, and I take this talk on board, then some time later, down the track, I use it against her.
These above behaviours are affecting my sanity and my health.
When I spend time with my family, I feel continually restless, like I don’t want to be with them, especially when Im not with my wife.
In previous relationships, I haven’t had very good break ups. Ive always made a drama
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Terry97:
Awesome......just 'frikk'in awesome.
You rule!
I cannot think of any better way to BEAT addiction.
It is good to see addiction NOT claim another
victim. Your Bachelors was a kick to the nads and
had addiction stumbling and moaning and clutching
it's crotch.
Your acceptance into grad school was the coup
de gras-----a SECOND vicious kick that says for
ALL the world to hear......"I am DONE pissing my time,
energy, and love -----into a black hole"
Revel in your great victory today . A beacon to others
who can see no end to the nightmare.
Awesome......just 'frikk'in awesome.
You rule!
I cannot think of any better way to BEAT addiction.
It is good to see addiction NOT claim another
victim. Your Bachelors was a kick to the nads and
had addiction stumbling and moaning and clutching
it's crotch.
Your acceptance into grad school was the coup
de gras-----a SECOND vicious kick that says for
ALL the world to hear......"I am DONE pissing my time,
energy, and love -----into a black hole"
Revel in your great victory today . A beacon to others
who can see no end to the nightmare.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Terry,
As someone who got my MS in electrical engineering last year, I just want to give you an "Atta Girl". Getting into graduate schoool is a big, big accomplishment, and one you should be very, very proud of.
A word of counsel...grad school is a mutherf**ker. You will love the learning and the challenge, but you will find the drain on your energy and your time very difficult to deal with at times. The best way to counter that is to make sure you find make down time and fun time for yourself as often as you can.
Buckle up, Terry. You're in for a hell of a ride. Enjoy every moment of it.
Nicely done!
ZoSo
As someone who got my MS in electrical engineering last year, I just want to give you an "Atta Girl". Getting into graduate schoool is a big, big accomplishment, and one you should be very, very proud of.
A word of counsel...grad school is a mutherf**ker. You will love the learning and the challenge, but you will find the drain on your energy and your time very difficult to deal with at times. The best way to counter that is to make sure you find make down time and fun time for yourself as often as you can.
Buckle up, Terry. You're in for a hell of a ride. Enjoy every moment of it.
Nicely done!
ZoSo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Terry congratulations!! You should be extremely proud of getting your BA! Never, ever short change yourself! That is a huge accomplishment! I wish you the very best on this next chapter. I have no doubt you will shine!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: In bizarroworld
Posts: 94
After the hell of going through the BA program with my ex and his relapses and my insanity, how hard can the Master's program be, Zozo? Without the chaos, life is so much easier now. Sometimes, when I do get stressed, I just remind myself of what I went through and realize that thing's really aren't that bad and feel much better. My heart keeps telling me I miss him, but my head reminds me that I would never be able to trust him again, I deserve so much more than what I got, and I probably just want him back to get revenge some how. Not healthy.
Thank you, everyone, for your congratulations. I really couldn't have moved on without reading all your stories to find out that I want crazy, it wasn't just me, and that, the way things were going, they were never going to get better and I had to move on. Now that my son is going through the same thing, I know that he's going to have to suffer until he sees the light himself and then I'll direct him to this forum. Thanks again! :-)
Thank you, everyone, for your congratulations. I really couldn't have moved on without reading all your stories to find out that I want crazy, it wasn't just me, and that, the way things were going, they were never going to get better and I had to move on. Now that my son is going through the same thing, I know that he's going to have to suffer until he sees the light himself and then I'll direct him to this forum. Thanks again! :-)
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