lablife

Keep doing what your doing!

hopeful4

You are compartmentalizing her behavior bc your mind is not ready to accept she and the addiction are one and the same. Im sorry.

XXx

rdcrds

Well the last few weeks have been different but still hard. She has been home with the kids a lot more now and was doing H but coming home rather then hang with the people. She finally went to the Methadone clinic Monday. They told her she could come back Wednesday as she passed the drug test for all things other then opiates. She still took H on tuesday as the pain was bad she says then today was the 1st day back to the clinic.

They took another pee test and she was clean again and they gave her 30 mgs at 8am of methadone. Well she was happy good mood and went back to sleep. She woke up and as the afternoon went along the pain came back. She got to 7pm and was going crazy showing me that she had to put down on paper when the withdrawls started back up to show them at the clinic.

She knows methadone she was on it for years and claims 30 mgs is not enough and they will up her to 40 then 60 etc till she either hits 100 or stops the withdrawl.

So at 7 she went to get some H to take the pain away. I argued she needed to try harder but she said the pain was too bad.

So things are better but not right yet. This H needs to end and i wish they would up her does or give her a 30mg does for the morning and then at night so she would stay the heck off the H.

So the last few weeks its been better that she has been home id say 22 hours out fot he day rather then the 4 to 9 weeks ago and she seems to want to get off the H cause she cried the other day when they told her she had to wait till Today to start the methadone and seems to be at the point of wanting to get off it.

I wish she went to rehab but anything is better then the H to me it is the worst thing cause of needles.

at my age of 58 this is the second person i had to go through this with. At a age of 22 i had to do it with my spouse who i got totally clean by removing the location and no meds just cold turkey but it was needles of crank NOT H.

So i am hoping this methdone clinic ups her does and the needles stop. At least she got tested also for illness and has none.

I just hope she can go 24 hours soon without H and be totally Methadone only. I need a vacation lol

chicory

Hi rdcrds,
thanks for updating us on things. I am sorry that it is so wearing on you. Keep posting here, and others who have been through it can help, by support and understanding your feelings.

I do hope that somehow , you can get to some meetings, as you could probably benefit from some face to face support. It must be very lonely for you sometimes.

Bless you for taking care of the children. You daughter would do well from some counsel or meetings, if she is serious.It does sound like she knows she needs to. Does the clinic offer counselling?

thoughts and prayers, that things get better for you.

rdcrds

Well today the Gran Kids dad picked them up for the weekend well most of it they got 1 day left of school. They seem to like it there now more and he is really not a bad dad just 1 that does not want 100% full time service.

So the Gran Kids are doing good. Does anyone know about Herion and Methadone clinic the MMT?

Cause here is the deal. She got 30MG yesterday and 40MG today. She did not like the fact i drove her there and watched her go in and waited for her to come out but she did not care much when she came out.

The thing is i read if you are on herion that it takes more Methadone to get rid of the WD'S and yesterday it was like 6-7pm when she started to feel sick and said she needed a bag but today she went in 3 hours later so i told her she should be able to make it that much longer plus the fact she is on 40MG and goes up 10 she says each day till she has no WD'S.

But i know she is still doing Herion just not during the day. I know she will want a bag later on. But 2 things. The clinic is covered by law and can't tell you anything unless she says so and how am i to know when she walks in she is getting the methadone and not just lying about it.

She has her foot in the door now to the clinic she was once kicked out of for Meth failing drug tests. I am trying ot get her and the Gran kids to go on a 3 week vacation with me cause it will serve many things. #1 get her away from the people who do Herion and also i will know she is only on Methadone.

But i would think if she goes up each day on methadone soon she will not want the herion.

The hardest part is the truth. Every word a Herion addict says to me is a lie unless you see it for yourself cause she constantly lies to me about who she is with and what she is doing.

Anyway i am praying they up her dose to the point she wants no herion or needs it. I was thinking that it might be a lot in her mind that come night she needs a bag.

BTW i have no clue what a heavy user is but she does on average i would say 3-4 20$ bags of H when she was on it alone. Yesterday as far as i know it was 2 20's. I am not sure what is heavy and what is not heavy use.

But thank you for all the help and support. I will say this. I found tout 35 years or so ago that moving or taking a long vacation is a good day to get someone clean. It got my spouse clean at that time 35 years ago and i think if i can get her to go on a 3 week vacation with methadone only she will be fine.

1 thing about moving is they can meet new dope dealers but on a vacation and moving around place to place each day makes it kind of hard when they do not know anyone.

So when she was heavy on H was 4 20$ bags heavy use? and is her 2 20's she does now till the methadone kicks in higher is that heavy use?


Thanks!

hopeful4

Hello. Glad the children are doing well.

You are right. Some on H will lie like a dog, all the time. Why would she care if you went and watched her go into the methadone clinic? That set me off to believe something is up with that.

She needs to be in charge of her recovery. You need to watch your grandkids and let her figure out if she truly wants recovery or not.

I am so sorry, how awful it must all be for you.

I hope you have some peace very soon.

rdcrds

Well i can say now for almost 2 weeks my daughter has been going to the clinic and on 80 MG of Methadone. They do test you a lot and while they expect some other opiates to linger they do not let you keep doing them. Even though i try really hard to keep her away from the people who do that stuff she seems to be able to stay clean and only on methadone. She is around people who do Herion but on a rare day maybe and a few that do Meth but when you have a daughter who has had abuse with drugs for 10 plus years you kinda know when they are doing and not doing.

As with her kids when she was doing she cared less now she takes them swimming and stuff. And we went to a Amusement park Friday from early morning after her does till late at night and i know for a fact she did nothing cause her and my gran Daughter only went to the restroom 1 time and it was packed. There is no smoking or really anywhere to do stuff.

And as stated if she did meth at all they would put her right out of the clinic if she fails a test and you never know what day of the week that is coming.

It is a hard road that will never go away and i am not thinking it is over cause there is always a chance of going back. But i think the scare of Hep c from the needles might be enough to keep her off them.

Plus my bank account has not went down back when she was i would be out $40 or more a day and all kinds of excuses for money.

I know they say do not enable someone but i have found that in my cases 2x with 2 different people giving them the money while drilling them each time what they are doing to themself has worked. I know people say you have to hit bottom but in my case the look at what you are doing to your kids and the threats of losing them and the reminding each time that this bag might be the 1 that kills you so far won over.

I hope for her and the kids she stays clean or semi clean as in doing the clinic but i am in for the long haul as with drugs there is as much chance as going back as there is staying clean.

Thanks.