Moms do this?
 

I am not new to alanon....but am new to this site. My name is Stacy, and I just need to vent a bit. I have known forever that my husband is alcoholic. I just found out yesterday that his mother allows his step father to sell him pain pills. A mother allows her husband to sell HER son pain pills. What kind of mother allows this to happen? She has no addictions. Guess she just likes the money. How pathetically sad is that? She has listened to me and been there for me....all the while...she was/is allowing this to happen. I have lost all respect for her. She is helping to kill her son!!!...

Welcome Stacy.

Glad you found SR. Its a great place to vent! And I sure cannot blame you, for being disappointed in your MIL-that's hard to imagine a mom doing to her own son. Is she in denial about his problems?

Vent here all you want. I am sorry that you are going through this. do you go to al-anon meetings?

hugs,
chicory

I think it is a terrible thing to do. Have you talked to her about this?

As a mother of an addict myself, I cannot imagine allowing that.

hugs

Welcome to SR. As always, I am sorry for what brings you here.

I didn't experience a family member's betrayal, but I know the anger and hurt I felt when I found out a "good friend" was selling my husband pain pills.

Its all so sick and twisted. A "world" I want nothing to do with anymore.

I'm not defending her behavior whatsoever.

But, if your husband knows the step dad has these pills and goes to his mom saying he is in horrible pain with big ole crocodile tears running down his face, and swears that he needs them so he can (fill in the blank) work, walk, not be in pain, etc., and that pills have never been an issue, only booze, it would be hard for a naïve mother to say no.

I don't know what would hurt worse, a good friend...or family member doing this.... My MIL is well aware of her sons addictions. This isn't a new family issue. As for me going to alanon...oh yes....My life line....

Not only do they enable by giving him the pills, they profit from his addiction by charging him for them.

Family members.

That is actually horrible to think about.

I'm not being sarcastic here, but knowing that family members have really screwy ideas about addiction and enabling - do you think it is possible this mother thinks that she is holding him accountable (and that she is not enabling) by asking him to pay for these pills instead of just giving them to him?

So sad. I could see my former MIL or former spouse's family doing that....

My mother allowed my father do all sorts of horrible things to me (their son)...she didn't have any addictions either (my father did). People, especially parents, tend to blur the lines between right and wrong. Sometimes it's just not logical and you'll waste the valuable moments of your life trying to figure them out. It's not worth it. Sounds to me like she is just as sick as her son, but by a different illness... In the end though, it's your husband making the choices of whether to buy them or not. The consequences fall on him. We can look at other people to blame...but the reality is that your husband is choosing unwisely.

Sick is sick...sometimes we don't have the answers.

They are as sick as their son.

I can relate. My SO buys heroin from his own sister and mother. It sickens me that you could do that to your own family....But they are as sick as he is.

Sickening. You should call the police and report him selling his pain pills. Disgusting.

I understand that would take things to a whole different level you may not be ready to go to.

So so sorry!

"Misery loves company." She may not be an addict but she gets something from keeping her son coming back and charging him and I highly doubt it is to make him accountable. I will never understand how anyone could do something that hurts their own child but there are some very sick people out there. Yak is right though and at the end of the day it is your husband who makes the choice to buy and use drugs. What have you said to him about this and has he ever talked about getting help?

Have you told your MIL exactly what you think of her selling drugs to her own son? I would have a very difficult time having any sort of relationship with someone who would lie to me and do that behind my back. I am so sorry you are going through this but glad to see you attend meetings. Glad you found us. Vent all you want. It is what we are here for!

I can totally see this because my AS has had legitimate pain issues at times so it really did blur the lines. We didn't know if he was taking legal, illegal or just too many legal ones or some of both. A real mess. He also did the 'booze is okay cause it is the pills that I am addicted to' spiel at one point also.

Kari