tica

I just kinda wanted to share this becaue I made a decision.

Well I was just sick of all his "I really think this time is different" and "I just thought I could get high one last time" stories so I told him if he uses again, I'm gone. I wasn't just saying that to scare him, I meant it. I decided I'm not gonna waste my life living with an addict so I talked to him. I was always supportive and everything and this time I told him I'm gonna be there for him as long as he's clean. If he ***** up, I'm out. I love him more than anything but I'm not gonna live like that. Last time he relapsed I found out by going through his phone because I realized something was wrong. Well, I'm not gonna do that again. I'm not gonna bother trying to find out because I told him I expect him to tell me. I'm gonna put my trust in him again and if he hurts me again, well that's fine, I'll survive. But that's gonna be the last time. And I know I'm not gonna make the same mistake again.

I'm just done trying to save him and help him. If he can stay clean, good. If he can't, I'm not gonna be there to cry because of it.

LoveMeNow

If he knows you will be done, do you really expect him to tell you? And if he did tell you, does that give him another chance, is that a loop hole? BTDT

Addicts don't hear what he say, they hear what we do.

tica

That's a good point but I do expect him to tell me. I guess I just kinda hope I will be able to tell by the way he acts if he's hiding something from me. And no, if he does tell me that doesn't give him another chance.

suki44883

Chances are very good that he won't tell you, but you don't have to make a decision tonight. Give it some time; more will be revealed.

LoveMeNow

Using looks like using, recovery looks like recovery. There is no mistaking it.

Telltale signs for me were - without exception, although I doubted myself....

Onset of anxiety for me.
If I walked away from a conversation and felt "crazy." (The convo made no sense)
Nighttime sweating for him, small pupils.
Blame shifting, manipulation, circular arguments, lying.
My husbands upper lip changed.
He was angry, arrogant, lots of energy.