BlueBones

Well, it's finally Friday. My SO and I have an intake appointment for counseling (both couples and individual for him), tonight at 7. As of right now, I'm a little worried. I haven't heard from him all day, which is somewhat unusual. He is supposed to be done work a little early so we can go to this intake appointment. I refuse to let myself get worked up about his whereabouts, but it is a bit concerning. If he is still MIA by the time I get off work at 5, we will definitely have some issue here.

I recently had a talk with him too regarding his using. I told him that I recognize that he is taking steps to get help and I'm glad; I will support him in those steps. But, he will need to prove his sobriety to continue living with me. So we are drug testing......which is not something I wanted to do. He did take a test for me and told me it would be positive and that he used within the last week (although, I think he is lying by saying he used 6-7 days ago. The tests are only supposed to be able to detect withing 2-4 days. Who knows.) It's not really relevant. It was positive. He'll be taking another in a few days after this counseling session and continue taking them. I'm not going to want to do this in a few months with a newborn in the house, but I'm more so not going to want to have my newborn around someone on heroin. I do want to give him a chance to get back on track, but we are working within a time frame, meaning, if there is no improvement, a lack of trying, or he's still pissing dirty, he's out. His arms are healing up and he's been a little more 'normal', which gives me a small bit of hope (but no disillusion). We'll see what happens in a few hours, I suppose. Despite my best efforts, my stomach is in knots. I wish it was just the baby kicking, but I know it's not.

hopeful4

Good luck to you! I hope you go regardless if he shows or not. Therapy has been a huge and significant part of my recovery in dealing with my addict XH.

I wish peace and calm, especially with your new baby on the way!

XXX

BlueBones

Unfortunately, due to our different insurances, if he doesn't go, neither can I. The appointment had to be made in his name. Although, I do intend to seek help elsewhere if he fails to come through on this. The only part that really sucks about it is that my insurance is only accepted by a few counselors around our area, and they are very, very booked. But, what can you do?
Thank you for the well-wishes. trying to stay calm and collected for my little one.

BlueChair

I hope he comes home and is ready for the intake appointment. He may be nervous? I get shaky thinking about the first time I went, but it turned out to be so worth it. Thanks for posting an update I was wondering how you were doing.

BlueBones

Well appointment didnt go well..or at all. We did end up going to the office but the doors were locked. We called and waited outside with no answer. It was so discouraging. I just wanted to sit down and cry. Now, we came home and I looked in the toilet to find a baggie that washed back up. He of course cant remember when its from, blah blah blah.

God tonight ended really badly. Im just so beat down. Im so tired.

needingabreak

Blue I am so sorry you had such a bad day.......and what a scrappy ending. All I can do I send you big virtual hugs and pray for you tonight. You have so much on your plate right now. Take care of you and that precious baby you are carrying. HUGS.