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Mother had 24 year old son arrested

Old 05-06-2014, 10:32 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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You are right. Regardless of the sentence, God will guide him either to jail or inpatient. Hopefully he will find recovery in either one.

XXX
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Old 05-07-2014, 03:53 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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My son took the offer of one year inpatient treatment along with his 5 year prior probation reinstated effective from the precious start date of January 9. They are holding him in jail until a bed is available which may not be available for 3 months. He wasn't to happy about it. The lawyer says to me and really made me feel guilty about pressing charges saying putting a loved one in the system is never the best choice. I left feeling horrible and praying the whole way for the assurance I saved his life. I know I did. I don't know what the end result will be but hopefully a success. One day at a time. Thanks again for all the support.
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Old 05-07-2014, 04:00 PM
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Putting a loved one in the system is sometimes the only choice. I'm sure that lawyer would agree if he walked a few years in your shoes. If not, he'd become a perpetual victim and need his own attorney.
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Old 05-07-2014, 04:18 PM
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Mama, we don't put them there, they put themselves there when they break he law. People that break the law go to jail. How dare that lawyer insinuate otherwise.

Don't ever feel guilty for him having consequences for his actions. Consequences are what will guide him to a better path.

It sounds like he is being led. I doubt it will take 3 months to find a rehab. The Salvation Army rehab is free and long term. I hope he will consider that.

This is unfolding well, mama, don't worry and don't feel guilty. It's not your cross to bear.

Hugs
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Old 05-07-2014, 04:41 PM
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Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. God bless x
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Old 05-07-2014, 05:35 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Don't feel guilty or bad. You did what anyone would do if someone had broken the law against them. Actions have consequences, that's all. And some people have to learn the hard way. So be it.

Don't listen to that lawyer. He's trying to make you feel bad. Don't fall for it. You did the right thing.
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Old 05-07-2014, 05:35 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Dearest MarkDara, I had my son arrested right under my nose for theft and after 12 months (90 days in jail and 4 months in rehab and then 5 months living in sober living), he relapsed big time and broke into our home! We filed a police report, and he went missing for another 4 months. Then was arrested and served ANOTHER 5.5 months in jail. I am so convinced he would be dead if he hadn't been picked up the second time. His drug of choice is Heroin and it is a HARD one to beat. He now lives with us, but is looking to move into a sober living (the best thing for everyone concerned!). I don't regret doing what we did because if I had let it go, I am certain my son would either be in prison for stealing from someone else OR shot in a home invasion. It was a long three years and it's better now, but there were some low times. I actually found a better relationship while my son was in jail than when he lived at home using drugs.
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Old 05-07-2014, 06:05 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Wow!! So thankful for all your kind words and encouragement. I'm sure I saved my sons life. My sister lost two of her 4 boys to overdoses of the same drug....Roxie's and Xanax. We will continue to fight this battle. All of together. Best wishes to all. God bless.
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Old 05-08-2014, 10:46 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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He will be just fine during his wait. If he had to wait three months outside of there, it is hard telling what may happen.

You have done all you can, now turn him over to God. It's a great thing that he is court ordered for such a long treatment, that is what is needed, not these little 30 days that are a complete waste of time for so many.

Obviously the attorney should feel ashamed and has never had to deal with a substance abuser in his or her own life, or they would know better. Feel no guilt, see it as though you have given him an opportunity to beat this.

XXX
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Old 05-08-2014, 08:43 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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It is very easy for the lawyer to say since he probably has never had to deal with a child who is a drug addict. I think you are very brave and give you so much credit for what you did. You probably saved your son's life in the process. I find putting it in God's hands is best. Now your son may wait a bit but he will be going to a treatment program that will hopefully help him, kick this for good. Praying for you and your son! Do not secon guess having him arrested. You absolutely did the best thing for him!
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Old 05-09-2014, 08:45 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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It's amazing how much your comforting words reassure me each day I have done the right thing for my son. My son and I communicate daily through a jail emailing system. It's nice that way for us. I like that he has to write and express in words vs just talking randomly. I think is great therapy for he and I. He is totally accepting his behavior and why he is in jail. Does he like it? No but realizes he put himself there. I plead with God for my son's full recovery but know it's got to be Brock's desire. Hugs and love to all.

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Old 05-09-2014, 09:26 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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I understand how difficult these times are....just wanted to give some support!

Prayers to you and your son!
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:50 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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thinking of you and hoping you take some really special time for yourself this weekend. happy mother's day, and i mean that so sincerely. you are a wonderful mother making the hard choices and doing the right thing. those of us dealing with addiction understand. and it sounds like your son does too, which is a blessing.

hugs and warm thoughts... you are not alone on this strange journey.
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Old 05-11-2014, 06:06 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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To Lovenjoy. Thank you for your reassurance. I did take time out to enjoy my children and this day today. Your words have definatley strengthened me. I feel comfort and peace with the hardest decision I made. I miss my boy this day. His smile. His character. His sense of humor. He can always make a room smile when he's sober. My prayer is God will allow him to overcome this disease and be a light u to others. Happy Mother's Day to all of you. Despite our journey of pain and sorrow because of this disease, God knows we are strong enough to handle it. One day at a time. Hugs to all!!

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Old 05-11-2014, 06:12 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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The lawyer is full of BS. Think about this- with out clients he has no work. Why would he cut off his income stream?

Dont buy his guilt trip.
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Old 05-24-2014, 06:15 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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I arrested my son feb 27 for stealing and pawning many items from our home. I had no other choice than to make him accountable for his actions. He's been in jail since that day. This past Wednesday he was transported from jail to a 6 month drug rehab at the Salvation Army not to far from home. This was court ordered. He had no clothes and ask if I would bring him some. I did. My stomach knotted up as I pulled up seeing the homeless sitting on the steps waiting for a meal and my son next door in the treatment center. I rang the doorbell and to my surprise my son answered. My heart pounded and I hugged him and cried. I gave him his things and stayed maybe 15!minutes. I know I did the right thing. I don't know if he can make it there but I know that's his choice. He told me people are using drugs in there. I told him his alternative is 3 years in prison. I can't control his destiny but after seeing him today my heart ached tremendously. It looked like chaos. Homeless in the steps band inside them just hanging around. I really don't want to see him like that, but he's had opportunities at paid for rehab centers. I believe this is where God wants him so he can visualize where he can be next....homeless and begging for a place to sleep and food to eat. I want to support his needs but not make it comfortable for him. I'm trying to be strong. Dumb me gave him clothes and $25. I hate giving him money and was upset afterwards that I did that. Any help on how to handle this situation. I don't want to enable one more day but so want to offer my love and support. Any advice appreciated.

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Old 05-24-2014, 02:26 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Dear MarkDara, I too have a son who has struggled with drugs and currently is in a detox and then inpatient (3rd time). I learned through this last 6 months that no matter WHAT I do, the addict will do what the addict will do. I have given money, food and clothing more times than I remember. Just know they do provide clothing and essentials to the patients at inpatient. I would let him adjust and try to minimize contact for a short while so you are not triggered. Keep posting and if you are able, go to some Alanon or Naranon meetings. They help .
TT
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Old 05-24-2014, 03:46 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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I am sorry you are going through this. I also had my stepson arrested. I firmly believe it saved his life.
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:12 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Today my son said he's leaving the Salvation Army rehab. He said everyone is doing drugs in there. I doubt it, but positive some are. The place is a dive not what he is use to. He's had out of pocket rehab. They were plush. He's very uncomfortable there. He said he's not gonna make it there. I stayed strong and said it's your choice.....don't waste another day there and just take the prison time. I said the bottom line is drugs are everywhere and until you walk away from them they will always be your temptation whether there or civilian life. I believe this is his bottom. He's never been homeless or in an environment where he knows no one: especially those who have no family and are completely homeless. I reminded him if he left home was not an option and if he came I was calling the police. I encouraged him to stay but at this hour I don't know if he stayed or left. Again my higher power (Jesus Christ) is carrying me through this today. I've surrendered my son to Him. I'm worried for him but know I can't let it consume me. I have to continue to let go and let God take this wheel.

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Old 05-24-2014, 11:08 PM
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I can imagine how difficult it is for you, but it sounds like you are being strong in your love and support by letting him have the dignity to make his own choices. I found with my daughter, that if I prayed every time I started to obsess about what was happening with her and what she was choosing, it helped. Adding you and your son to my prayers.
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