Addiction HAS to be ugly.....

Old 04-22-2014, 09:27 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I read once and it has stuck in my head forever, you rob the addict in your life any chance of recovery if you protect them and do not let them experience the pain and consequences of their own behavior. Only when their life becomes uncomfortable enough to motivate them to change will it happen. If you block that from happening all the time, they never experience it and will never experience change.

I will never ever forget that.
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Old 04-22-2014, 10:23 AM
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Originally Posted by story74 View Post
This one woman decided to tell me that she was an alcoholic, and that 4 years ago her and her husband had a discussion. She asked him why he was still with her, and he said because he loved her. And the next day she straightened up and hadn't had a drink since. I immediately got the impression that she was basically telling me, I wasn't supportive of my husband.
That's the same impression I got. Would be different if she were relating to YOU as the loved one of an A, but she wasn't. Her reference point was as the A. Please watch your back if you have to deal with her again.

To the topic, if not painful it has to be earth shaking. Something stronger than the prehistoric survival instinct that has been activated by a hijacked brain.
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Old 04-22-2014, 03:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Lily1918 View Post
I think his is true for Codies as well.

isn't it true that we never let go of an addict until the pain they cause in our lives is greater than the joy they bring?
Lily, it was for me. I don't blame my son for my pain, I blame myself for not seeing things clearly and not doing the hard things like letting go so much sooner than I did. Addiction hurt both my son and I, we each felt our own pain as it destroyed our family and our dreams of the future.

Pain is a great motivator and a protector too. Pain tells our body or our mind or our spirit that something is very wrong and we need to change what we are doing to stop the pain so we can heal. If I break my leg, the pain will let me know it's bad and to stay off it. If I have a headache pain that never goes away, I will see my doctor to find out what is wrong and see what I need to do to make it stop.

Too bad I didn't listen to the pain I was feeling for too many years of living in the darkness of addiction.

This has been a thought provoking thread, LMN, thanks.

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Old 04-22-2014, 06:25 PM
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oh Ann!!! your words struck me because my sons autism causes him to have a hyper pain tolerance, and he is constantly in te ER because we cannot trust when he says it doesn't hurt!!! He can touch fire, get burned and not even cry. This has been difficult to deal with, but I never thought about how numbing emotional pain can take away the lesson! Thank you!
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Old 04-22-2014, 07:25 PM
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And your story of your son touches my heart, Lily because it shows how much worse our health can be if we do not feel or acknowledge pain. Some would say your son was blessed to have such a high tolerance for pain, but in fact it puts his life in danger.

Pain guides us just as the light of positive attitudes can. I never looked at pain as a good thing before but indeed it can stop us in our tracks when we need to pay better attention to ourselves.

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