Cathy31

Jonathan and I also just had a big fight. Since we met the has at most put together 30 days sobriety. He has half heartedly tried the program over the past 6 years. His mom my parents etc all think he is sober, so do some of our friends in aa but close friends know the truth.

Covering up for him, being betrayed time and time again by his broken promises to stop and work the program have severely taken their toll on me and the last incident I just felt ready to yell his mom dad etc do an intervention.

Anyway he promised to stop last Sunday and has so far, but this morning was just back to the same dry drunk behaviour (lazy self indulgent not looking after kids or doing his bit) so I ended up telling my mom in front of Jonathan that my severe stress levels were as a result of him and that he had Never stopped drinking and drugging.

So now my mom is in shock and Jonathan has gone out with our son to play mini golf and I am scared that he is going to go get drunk and die!

Thanks for listening.

Cath

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear this Cathy.
Forgive me for not keeping up, but have you explored AlAnon at all?

D

Cathy31

I keep in meaning to but haven't cause they would tell me to practice tough love and the J would be dead

Dee74

LOL I'm pretty sure the love bit of Tough Love precludes homicide...

In all seriousness, sounds like the fellowship would be good for you, and your boundaries?

D

chicory

HI Cathy, nice to meet you.
You certainly have a lot of patience. And kind. I bet al-anon would do you a world of good.

hugs,
chicory

Ann

Cathy, Al-anon is about us, not them, and it doesn't tell us whether to stay or go, it helps us find our balance and live a healthy life...no matter what we choose. Just wanted to clarify that because many of us here found our peace and our sanity through meetings.

I hope you can find some peace for yourself in all this, and protect your son from being with him if he is going to drink and drive.

Hugs

Txhelp

One of the VERY tough things that I had to tell myself was that I could do NOTHING to stop my loved ones from using; going to jail; having bad credit; being homeless; or dying!

NOT ONE of these is within MY control!

Oh dear.....I have tried though. I have really tried.

While trying...I just got sick and worried and did not accomplish one thing (on their behalf).

crochetforall

I have the same problem you have put I gave birth to mine. I stop drinking Mar. 25 of this year and when I stop she started up again. She say she will stop and come home drunk every night. She have 7 of my 17 grandchildren.

Cathy31

Thanks everyone your answers have been a Godsend. I googled al anon and there is a meeting a 5 minute walk from my house?! My ah didn't go drink he took my son to the park and they went to feed the ducks (I was sick with worry though) I would like peace about this. I also went to an aa meeting tonight (I am alcoholic$ and a woman stood up and told my story and it was along I felt so touched by God and his Grace and feel hopeful. I felt so incredibly sad and beat when I wrote earlier today. I don't want to forget that feeling else I won't change and go to al anon. I am sore the miracle I found in aa is in al anon too you all spins so wise and together! Cath x