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Need to confess...

Old 04-15-2014, 11:03 AM
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Need to confess...

The A in my life is someone else's son and my grandson's 'dad'. When life gets tough (rent due, warrants issues, etc) the A almost always has a "seizure". His parents will then pay his rent/legal fees/etc because they believe the "seizure" is brought on by stress. I, however, believe the "seizure" is fake. This weekend the A made no attempt to see his son (my daughter usually meets him at a local coffee shop and he sees him...supervised...for about thirty minutes) and then came up with this story about how he'd had three seizures from Friday to Sunday. He claimed to have one of them at a local restaurant. So...here's where the confession comes in...I called the restaurant and pretended I was someone I'm not to get them to tell me about the incident. They told me walked in the door and collapsed in the doorway. No one was with him. It was right around the time he was supposed to be at work (a couple blocks away). Are these the lengths he's willing to go to to protect his story????

I'm mad at myself for picking up the detective hat again!!! But, I'm also tired of him thinking he's fooloing us. My daughter is going to a lawyer on Thursday to discuss the situation and get a clear understanding of her rights/responsibilities. I don't think I can take it if this baby is forced to have unsupervised visits or even (God forbid!) overnight visits.

I'm sorry for ANYONE who has to suffer with an addict in their life!!! How do we protect this sweet, innocent, child from this life?
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Old 04-15-2014, 03:12 PM
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Ann
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If he is going to have time alone with the child I think a medical diagnosis would be important. If he is indeed having seizures and collapses, is he capable of being responsible for a child?

Your daughter has a lawyer, I'm sure he can help her with whatever she needs to do to protect herself and her child.

Now hand me your detective badge, mama, I have quite a collection that began with my own.

I found more peace when I spent my time putting what was right into my life than when I spent it finding what was wrong with my son's.

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Old 04-15-2014, 03:58 PM
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Hi Mama.
I am sorry for your worries, I would worry too. Our children should never have to suffer because of someone elses bad choices.
Perhaps as Ann said, his 'seizures' might just work against him... if he isn't physically ill , surely he has a mental instability, if he is faking these. That is pretty weird, even for someone who is an addict, in my opinion.

good luck to you,
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Old 04-15-2014, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Ann View Post
I found more peace when I spent my time putting what was right into my life than when I spent it finding what was wrong with my son's.
That's gold right there. Thank you for this.
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Old 04-15-2014, 07:46 PM
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He texted me an hour ago and asked me to take him to rehab. I said I would and he said he'd call me in an hour. I'm not holding my breath ... Just praying. But now my daughter says what if he's luring me to his place to do physical harm? He's never been physical before but what if she's right? I was going to take him to the ER and they will find a bed at the rehab in the morning. Is this a bad idea???
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Old 04-15-2014, 09:22 PM
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Trust your gut. Or perhaps, in this case, your daughter's gut. If he needs emergent care he should call 911. If you still feel like you want to drive him, take a friend with you, don't go alone. It's not worth risking your safety, he's resourceful - if his parents always bail him out of trouble why is he calling you? There are always other options.
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Old 04-15-2014, 09:59 PM
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He never called. Just sick manipulation. I fell for it...what a fool
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Old 04-16-2014, 03:47 AM
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It's his game, Mama, you don't have to play, you can sit this one out and just take care of yourself.

If/when he really wants to go to rehab, he will make the call and find his way there. If he really wants help, he will find it.

It's a beautiful day today, spend it well doing something wonderful for yourself and maybe just say a prayer and leave the rest to God. I do that every day and it brings me peace, hope and faith.

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Old 04-16-2014, 06:12 AM
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"Let go or be dragged" I've seen it on here multiple times. It is my new mantra!
Thanks for all your kind words!
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