Ignoring

Old 04-09-2014, 10:51 PM
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Baby Steps
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Ignoring

Since my husband left I haven't heard anything from his family. No phone calls asking how the kids and I are. Absolutely nothing makes me wonder what he has told them about why he left. I get that they want to support their son but to not support us is well I do to ow what it is but it is annoying me!!

It feels that they are choosing to stand by their son and ignore the hurt he has caused!!
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:45 AM
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Ann
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Sometimes a problem in a family makes it awkward for outside members to communicate. Not sure if that is the case in your situation but they may be just not wanting to get involved in what may not be their business.

Can you contact them and have a talk? Maybe just opening the lines of communication is all that is needed.

Regardless of how this unfolds, you know your truth and your situation, that's all that matters in the end. What others think is only speculation because they are not you and haven't lived it.

Hugs
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Old 04-10-2014, 09:08 AM
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Baby Steps
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I've rang them twice once because my husband was on a bender and the second time I needed a phone number and on both occasions they didn't ask how I was or the kids!!
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Old 04-10-2014, 10:52 AM
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I am still "paying" for outing my RAH as an A sick enough to qualify for inpatient rehab. My RAH sees it as an act of betrayal. His anger towards me is pretty palpable in our relationship. How dare I mess up the family communication pattern by being open, honest, and giving all sibs the same info. Then I warned one wife to call me if she wanted to talk. So maybe one day she will call. If we end up apart, I know I will get very little from that contingency. Reality bites and I guess I am the biter...
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:18 AM
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Thing is they know he's an alcoholic and have spoken to him many times but since he has left me they are obviously supporting him
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:29 PM
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As I said in another post earlier, blood really is thicker than water. It was a huge shock to me that my XAH's family is acting the way they are but it is what it is. They know he caused this and in my opinion are upset that they have to deal with him now. I was really hurt by it at first, but is also backs up the theory that maybe the apple does not fall far from the cart?!

Anyways....hugs to you. Keep on keeping on, establish your own support system without them.

XXX
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:29 PM
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My x's family pretty much did the same thing to me. One family member (who I was REALLY close with) resented me because I divorced him. The other family member supported me, and his mother ignored me/ dismissed me. His father was supportive, but said many inappropriate things, I couldn't be around him anymore. We were all so close, I was heartbroken. It really opened my eyes. Anyways, the 2 unsupportive family members were in denial. In fact, his mother hid information from me and told me (after I was abandoned and been through HELL), that she didn't think he had a drug problem. She refused to hear any information/proof I told her. In fact, I felt like I was defending myself. Like I had to prove myself! The other unsupportive family member never called, was very cold and demeaning via texts and didn't invite me to a family birthday party, but instead invited my X and his ***** who had a 3 page police record and did drugs with him. She also was the one who he cheated on me with mothers day weekend. Of course, she met my nieces and nephews (which I knew since they were conceived) and nobody had the balls to tell me about this "party". I had to find out through another family member. I didn't hear from any of them for 4 months. Then they all started texting me asking me what was up with my sons birthday party. I basically told them all to F off. You see, it has nothing to do with me or them. It has to do with my son. I will not allow my son to be around people who enable daddy and are in denial about daddy, and who allow his disgusting gal pal around. Can you imagine if my nieces or nephews started talking about his horrible girlfriend to my son? She is crazy. I mean really crazy. Can you imagine if my son talks to his grandma and she corrects him when he says daddy is sick? Or, what if I leave him with them (which I would never do) and daddy and the tramp show up. Daddy has supervised visits and has boundries set in our life. So, I refuse to have a relationship with them because it is too complicated, I felt betrayed and I do not trust them. It is sad, painful and not what I wanted. But it is what it is. I hope one day we can have a relationship again, but I can't deal with people who are in denial and sweep things under the rug. After what we have been through, I need honest and trustworthy. Addiction destroys not just the addict, but everything they touch.
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Old 04-10-2014, 09:32 PM
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My H family are all recovering and some of the really close ones like Mother and Brother have between 15-20 years clean between them and they no longer go to meetings or anything but are sober and know my H is active and using they know where meetings are bc they told me!! They never even ask him about his addiction. Very sad ...
I went straight to my H Family first Mother/Brother/Sister I cant say any of those 3 people did anything to help at all!! Kind of crazy and cruel if you ask me. I wouldn't be able to be around my sibling without at least giving him a loving word of advice for the better!!Let alone my own son!!! Makes us think what did we do that so bad to the inlaws that they just love to see us suffer .. Geez I thought when things were normal you all liked me!! They claim that he has to reach out for help first ... All crap!!
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