Addicted father of my kids has died
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Addicted father of my kids has died
Hello Friends:
Ex-husband of long ago, father of my 3 sons (now adults), has passed away from complications of his addiction.
Addiction had changed his brain so much that he was incapable of any kind of relationship with his children or even his own extended family. He died thousands of miles away with only his current wife at his side and no one else. At his request, there is absolutely no funereal service of any type - not even an obit.
But, this has been an awesome opportunity for me to share with my three sons that he was not a jerk - he was a person whose brain was changed by drugs. During our marriage, there was about a 6-month period when he was in AA and was changing - for the better! He was calm, nice, had empathy, and was on the lookout to be helpful to me and our young children. I am the only one to tell this story to our children as no one else saw this change. My children are receptive to this story in a way they never were before - after all, half their DNA comes from him.
God is good. Good can come out of anything.
Ex-husband of long ago, father of my 3 sons (now adults), has passed away from complications of his addiction.
Addiction had changed his brain so much that he was incapable of any kind of relationship with his children or even his own extended family. He died thousands of miles away with only his current wife at his side and no one else. At his request, there is absolutely no funereal service of any type - not even an obit.
But, this has been an awesome opportunity for me to share with my three sons that he was not a jerk - he was a person whose brain was changed by drugs. During our marriage, there was about a 6-month period when he was in AA and was changing - for the better! He was calm, nice, had empathy, and was on the lookout to be helpful to me and our young children. I am the only one to tell this story to our children as no one else saw this change. My children are receptive to this story in a way they never were before - after all, half their DNA comes from him.
God is good. Good can come out of anything.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
you have given your children a great gift ~ the ability to have healthy compassion toward someone and to see the good in someone ~
how precious ~
prayers of comfort for all,
pink hugs
how precious ~
prayers of comfort for all,
pink hugs
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I too see the gift that you can pass on to your children, and my prayers go out for all of you and all who loved him. No matter how things turned out, he was their father and it is such a blessing for you to feel compassion at a time when your children need to do so also.
Hugs
Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Oh, thank you to all for your prayers and kind thoughts for me and my sons.
My ex-husband saw the miracle of the 12 steps, even if for just a spit of time.
I also witnessed the miracle of the 12 steps in him. And so many of us are experiencing that same miracle in our own lives through our own 12-step program including SR, and I get to witness that.
I continue to hold our hope for my AS to experience that same freedom on a permanent basis. I do not want him to become invisible like his father did... and neither does his Higher Power...
I am rambling here. This has affected me even though we have been divorced for decades and I distanced myself big-time because of his bizarre and near-violent behavior. My middle son calls it the "deep sacrament of marriage."
Sojourner
My ex-husband saw the miracle of the 12 steps, even if for just a spit of time.
I also witnessed the miracle of the 12 steps in him. And so many of us are experiencing that same miracle in our own lives through our own 12-step program including SR, and I get to witness that.
I continue to hold our hope for my AS to experience that same freedom on a permanent basis. I do not want him to become invisible like his father did... and neither does his Higher Power...
I am rambling here. This has affected me even though we have been divorced for decades and I distanced myself big-time because of his bizarre and near-violent behavior. My middle son calls it the "deep sacrament of marriage."
Sojourner
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Ramble all you want.
If rambling was an SR crime---I would have received the SR death penalty long ago.
THIS.....(don't flatter yourself!)....is not even SR jaywalking.
Humor is how I cope.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm glad your ex husband got to see some sunshine
before his time came.
If rambling was an SR crime---I would have received the SR death penalty long ago.
THIS.....(don't flatter yourself!)....is not even SR jaywalking.
Humor is how I cope.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm glad your ex husband got to see some sunshine
before his time came.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Sojourner, I am late on this as I have not been in for awhile but I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for the loss and will be praying there have been 3 overdose induced heart attacks in the last month just in my apt. complex. I hate addiction.
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