Should I talk to him finally?

Old 04-02-2014, 10:18 AM
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Should I talk to him finally?

Wow. I can remember 7 months ago sitting in the exact same spot typing about how hurt, broken, confused, and miserable I was.
Time truly does heal.
Long story short (or so I'll try) I used to talk to his kid (21) and Im (18).
It lasted for a good solid 3 months.
Then he went to rehab...took me by total shock.
We never talked since he went and I was completely cut off.
I can't begin to describe how I felt....just empty.
Anyway..you get the idea....soooo
He texted me...out of nowhere. literally. and just said hey how are you...all that.

WHAT.!?
Right when i've moved on...gotten over the heartache he decides to talk again.

idk im just confused sort of.
I feel so proud of myself for moving on and now he's trying to come back.

what should i do?
I know I probably should stay away....but theres something pulling me back in.
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:29 AM
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If you are at a good place in your life and have moved on and feel happy after your own recovery- then why let someone back in that caused so much pain?

No one can tell you what to do. But just know that if you do talk to him- it may not go the way you hope- then how would you cope with that?

You didn't have too much time wasted on him (I believe you said 3 months)- do you really need him in your life?

Good luck to you and do what you feel is best for you.
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:31 AM
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I agree, if you're in a good place don't look back. Stay strong and keep looking forward!
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:54 AM
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Putting myself through it once was bad, but the second time left scars.
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:21 AM
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Is this the same guy who’s played this game on you before or are you now talking about his son? I’m confused with that part.

If I recall, you really didn’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship with the guy it was just more someone who had a great impact on you.

History doesn’t repeat itself – people repeat history.

Ignore the text – nothing has changed except hopefully you.
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:28 AM
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crissy -

your first post Aug 2013 - He went to rehab and cut me out
and a bit later in Oct - Should I contact him - again

this is someone you knew for a VERY short period of time - and he's been OUT of your life more than IN it. no matter how SOLID you hung out with him for THREE little months. SEVEN months ago.

all he did was TEXT you. used his thumbs to type some words and hit send. you get to decide how much importance you give that. or if you even bother to acknowledge. do you REALLY want people in your life that bail out and go radio silent when they feel like it? that's up to you....we teach people how to treat us.
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:42 PM
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Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me 867,909 times........shame on ME.
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Old 04-03-2014, 01:56 AM
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chrissy, it's pretty classic controlling behaviour. Pull them in, make them feel good, reject them, let them move on then pull them in again. Repeat.
The choice whether to participate in the game is yours.
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Old 04-03-2014, 02:52 PM
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Vale, this is going to be my new motto! I am not being fooled again, that is for certain!



Originally Posted by Vale View Post
Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me 867,909 times........shame on ME.
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Old 04-03-2014, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
crissy -

your first post Aug 2013 - He went to rehab and cut me out
and a bit later in Oct - Should I contact him - again

this is someone you knew for a VERY short period of time - and he's been OUT of your life more than IN it. no matter how SOLID you hung out with him for THREE little months. SEVEN months ago.

all he did was TEXT you. used his thumbs to type some words and hit send. you get to decide how much importance you give that. or if you even bother to acknowledge. do you REALLY want people in your life that bail out and go radio silent when they feel like it? that's up to you....we teach people how to treat us.
I have to agree with this Crissy. Of course I'm all new to the addiction and relationships with an addict situation, I think me being right where you were 7 months ago, currently learning about addiction and recovery, he definitely does not seem to be emotionally ready to deal with challenges fully - thus, a text will allow him to make a general contact but without the full commitment that could result in rejection. This appears to still be a selfish attitude. I believe that they are suppose to be able to step out of that selfishness before you can really consider how genuine their intentions are in reconnecting with you. He should be able to accept what he had done to you in the past, the pain he caused you, and be in a place where he can look you in the face and apologize, or at the very least, reach out to you in person.
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