gabriel01

I don't want to tell him what to do. I just told him I would like to have those cheese in my fridge. So it's either he asks his friend for those back or he goes to pay for those himself. It's his money, he either ask or lose $60 out of his pocket. It doesn't affect me. I do think this is something he should learn how to communicate with others. But I do not want to be that person to tell him. If his sponsor or his program can help him with that, that would be nice, but I definitely don't want to do the mother role anymore. What was concerned me and I made this thread was, I dunno how long will this situation (hours in meetings, coffee and hangout every week) will last. If it'll last his whole life, which I mean, he will need to devote all his time besides working, in order to keep his sober. This is not the relationship I want in my life. But if it will get better gradually, I think I can deal with it, maybe. ^^^ this sentence enlightened me. So true.

interrupted

This right here is your own recovery shining! This is a very healthy response to the situation!

There's no way to tell how long he will be working his recovery so actively, but it sounds like he's in a really good place: meetings and the gym and time with sober friends is a wonderful alternative to drug abuse. Eventually he will find balance, but it's important for him to put his recovery first for now, there's no way to know how long he will need to be this involved with his program. Could be months, could be years, it's all on him.

I completely understand how this would be a problem for you - it would be a struggle for me also, feeling left behind in a way. There's no need to make any decisions right away about what to do, but one day at a time you can decide whether this is something you are willing to wait through. Accept each day for what it is, because nobody can tell you what the future will hold, or how long this might continue. I can say that this is exactly what recovery looks like, though, so there is a blessing in that, even if it's not exactly how you imagined it would be.

Hang in there, take it day by day, continue to take inventory of your own feelings and eventually the answer will come to you; whether it is through an evolution of his recovery or a realization that this new situation might not be for you. Either way, as long as you are taking care of yourself, you will be okay.

CarrieBear

didnt mean to change the topic but what you shared made me have questions. however it happened good you got your cheese back