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Checking In...and Checking Out

Old 03-26-2014, 08:48 AM
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Checking In...and Checking Out

It's hard to believe only two years ago I was experiencing the fallout from breaking up with an addict (and a Borderline). In some ways, it feels like only yesterday. But in most ways, it feels like forever. And life has taken me far, far away from that difficult era.

That's not to say life doesn't test me from time to time. It does. A buddy of mine is experiencing some serious personal problems that has impacted his employment, his financial health, and his relationship with his girlfriend. And he has made a lot of decisions that I don't necessarily agree with. But what surprises me is how I was able to detach from his issues. There are things he's going to have to learn for himself, the way that myself and a lot of other people here at SR had to learn things. And I credit the experiences with my AXGF for helping me learn how to detach from people.

My time here has not exactly come to an end. I'll probably be reading posts from time to time. But between my career and a new band, my life has become what I hoped it would be in the earliest days after the breakup with my AXGF. I'm balls-to-the-walls busy, which means I'm not on here anywhere as much as I have been. Life isn't about being codependent anymore. It's not about trying to cope with someone else's illness. Life, for me, is taking on new challenges.

My hope is the ES&H I've shared here since 2012 has helped people, as your ES&H has helped me.

God Bless, and Rock On.

ZoSo
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Old 03-26-2014, 08:56 AM
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Good luck and God Bless zoso!

It is always great for me to hear how these lessons are applied in life and how you can continue with the positive behaviors we learn.

I wish you success and many blessings!
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:04 AM
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zoso
I hope you will check in from time to time as your growth and experience has helped many (myself included). Balls to the wall busy is a great thing to be as long as there is plenty of FUN-busy in there too! And with a new band and your love of music......my guess is that you're having the time of your life! Good for you!

It is amazing how our time opens up when we are focusing on ourselves and not tied up in knots over another person's addiction (and the dysfunction that goes along with that). I am also busy with my business, studies, volunteering, and traveling. I have learned how to live my life to its fullest.....and so have you!

And yes......rock on!

hugs
ke

PS - do you know how far into the depths of the smilie list I had to go to find that one!!!??!!
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Old 03-26-2014, 02:12 PM
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Zoso,

Thanks for the terrific insights, words that I know for a fact have helped so many.
There is a time to form up, and a time to break formation. A time for new directions,
new adventures, and new explorations for all of us in this vast beautiful ocean called
life.

Fair winds and following seas, my friend(s)!
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Old 03-26-2014, 02:53 PM
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As Zappa said:

SHUT UP AND PLAY YOUR GUITAR!!!

wishing you all the best and most of the fun...leave a little for the rest of us eh? BE WELL!
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Old 03-26-2014, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
As Zappa said:

SHUT UP AND PLAY YOUR GUITAR!!!

wishing you all the best and most of the fun...leave a little for the rest of us eh? BE WELL!
Dang Anvilhead.....I didn't know you were also a Zappa fan. Love me some Frank.
ke
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:09 PM
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Sound Bites in my head:
Cath-o-lic Girls....
Hi ho Silver!
Mud Shark......

following that six degrees of separation.....my ex MIL went to Antelope Valley High with Frank! so we are almost related!!!
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:21 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
Sound Bites in my head:
Cath-o-lic Girls....
Hi ho Silver!
Mud Shark......

following that six degrees of separation.....my ex MIL went to Antelope Valley High with Frank! so we are almost related!!!
And "Broken Hearts Are For A$$holes"...

Take care, all.

ZoSo
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Old 03-26-2014, 04:02 PM
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Zoso, I'm coming on late to wish you well and I really am delighted that your life has brought you so much happiness.

Your light remains here because your posts remain here and there is so much support and light and from the heart sharing on every post you made. Thank you for all you brought to us, and don't you dare be a stranger, you must drop in now and then to share some cheesecake with all of us.

And...next time you are playing a gig and you look out and see some old gal in bunny slippers, you will know that we found you and I'm cheering you on.

Hugs
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Old 03-26-2014, 04:04 PM
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I loved Over-Nite Sensation and Apostrophe.....you can often hear me saying "I CAN'T SEE...BO-DE-O-DO-DO-DO" or "Is that a REAL poncho or is that a SEARS poncho"...The dog bites"......and for goodness sake...."don't eat the yellow snow"......STINK FOOT. Oh my...the list goes on and on and on......don't get me started. Frank Zappa had the BEST lyrics EVER.

I'll stop now......so that we can return to loving us some ZOSO!
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Old 03-26-2014, 06:35 PM
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Thank you for the wonderful posts! I appreciate the "lessons learned" sentiment. I also feel that my addict children and husband have taught me the lesson of detachment. I know apply those lessons to others.

Kuddos to you! Have a great time!
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Old 04-09-2014, 08:08 PM
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Thank you for your posts. Your situation was very similar to mine, life with your love one addicted to crack. Your strength in detaching and moving on with your life helped and inspired me. You also have dealt with the stalking.........that too I experienced, but to an extreme that required an order of protection. In addition to the order, I had to move very far away to keep myself safe.

It is difficult healing, the aftermath is tremendous. I cannot even comprehend going out with someone. Being around people drinking bothers me, my mind still goes places I wish it would not - I will ask myself - "are they doing drugs too", if they get so drunk, what else are they doing - ugh - really who wants to think about that crap. Some day I will be free of the bad memories.

Thank you.
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Old 04-09-2014, 09:19 PM
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Zoso thank you for all your help, not just for me but the many others I am sure you touched. I pray you continue to do well, enjoy playing with your band and have learned as much from others as we learned from you but most of all I wish you much love, happiness and peace. I hope you can stop in from time to time.
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