swttbm

So my husband just went into rehab a little over 2 weeks ago, and today I get a text from him that says he doesn't want to talk to me while he is in rehab cause it make him feel like using talking to me and that he doesn't trust me but that he still loves me. We aren't the best at communicating with each other and I know we need to get better at it but what can I do to show him that I want him to talk to me and be able to better support him. Cause right now I am clueless as to how to show him support.

Kindeyes

As hard as it may be, I hope you'll be able to respect his request. He's getting the help he needs right now and hopefully this will help his communication skills in the future. Does his rehab have a family program? Would you be able to speak with one of the counselors there to get an idea of how you can best show your support? They may have some helpful insight for you.

I hope you'll take this time to take care of you. Actually, one of the best ways we can support the addicts in our lives is by taking good care of ourselves....first.

hugs
ke

FeelingGreat

hi, rehab is a very intense time and the withdrawal and therapy may be enough for your husband to handle at the moment. He still loves you, but he has a lot to work out for himself. Why not spend this time looking after yourself, maybe attending Nar-anon and whatever family therapy the rehab provides?
I'm sure your husband will communicate with you when he's sorted a few things out.

swttbm

Thank you so much! I will try narc anon. Family program won't work for us cause we are 3 hrs apart from each other. I appreciate your advice and will definitely take it and use it

Taking5

You don't have to do anything to show support. I wouldn't help anyway. He is either all in on recovery or he isn't.

Ann

Just to clarify, Nar-anon is a 12-step program for loved ones of addicts.

Narc anon is a Church of Scientology program, quite a different thing.

I too hope you will let him work on his recovery and perhaps work on yours at the same time. That way you will both be healthier when he is finished with rehab.

Good luck to both of you.

Hugs

Sungrl

What does he mean by "He doesn't trust you, but he still loves you"? I don't get the trust part. Why doesn't he?

BlueChair

When my husband was in rehab he went through stages where it was hard for him to talk to me, or see me. For him a lot of it was because of the guilt and embarrassment he felt, there were a lot of changes going on with him physically and mentally as he withdrew from drugs. Where my husband was they were more than willing to talk with me, answer my questions, offer guidance. I would suggest you try this and see what they say. I wouldnt be surprised if he changes his mind once he starts feeling better, thats what happened with us. He does need your support but right now maybe its enough he knows you love him, and he is holding onto this while working on all his inside emotional stuff.

allforcnm

When my husband was in rehab, the therapist I worked with suggested I try learning the CRAFT approach. (community reinforcement and family training). It taught me how to take care of myself & it also focused on communication between us - healthy, encouraging ways to support my husband during early recovery. You can google it/check out SMART recovery as they use this method also.