LittleSister25

My mom and I found out last night for sure my older sister is out of jail. As well as the fact she's taken up heroin now. I said before in my last post that she would do anything she could get her hands on. It's a very different feeling when you know for certain that it's happening. A neighbor stopped my dad and told him that she has tracks up both her arms and she looks really bad.
Last night was the first time I've cried for her. She was my idol when we were kids. I wanted to be just like her. Skinny, pretty, tough. Everyone seemed to like her. It's easier for me to not feel for the simple fact that if I do it's going to end up eating me alive if I do. I miss her honestly. When she first moved in with my parents and I; with my nephews, she tried to have a relationship with me but I shut down and shoved her away. And I often wonder if I had given her a chance would it have made a difference? Would she be on the road she's on now? One that is more than likely going to end with her dying from an overdose. I didn't trust her and resented her so much that I may have very well ignored her reaching out to me.

hopeful4

You absolutely cannot blame yourself. Everyone makes their own decisions in life, and they are not always easy ones. She has an addictive personality that much is obvious.

Tight Hugs. You are both in my prayers.

LittleSister25

You're right. It's hard though thinking that she could have been asking for my help and I turned my back on her.

jjj111

I'm sorry, LittleSister. I think there's a special kind of pain that goes with having an addicted sister. My little sister is an addict. So much of my identity has always been bound up in her, we were close in age and grew up with alcoholic parents and so we were really tight, to the point where we often felt responsible for each other. We were the only daughters, and the rest of our family often referred to us as "the girls," as if we were a single entity! I've worked hard to find some good boundaries with her, and still struggle. I feel like the best times are when I'm able to "detach with love." In other words, I try to respect her as an individual and let her make her own decisions but also let her know I love her. It's so important to know that we don't have the power to make an addict use or not--that decision is always between them and their higher power. Hugs!

Ann

I'm sorry for the road she is on and how much that hurts you. Watching our loved ones self-destruct causes pain that nobody who hasn't been through this can understand.

My prayers go out for her, and for you and all who love her. I learned, with my son, that I can pray for him each day and love him in my heart, but I cannot make him do anything nor can I live in his addiction and my own recovery at the same time. So I pray...a lot.

Hugs